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Original poster

Our new Neighbours and my loud children

485 replies

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 17:53

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

OP posts:
Beeloux · 15/05/2025 19:10

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 18:59

@Beeloux yes thank you . Thought I was a good parent until today . 😂. Yes tantrums are very unreasonable he is two.
yes I have the qualifications to set up thanks and experience .

Some of these comments are utterly ridiculous! Do people really expect you to banish your kids from playing outside due to a batshit neighbour? 😂
My eldest (3) is loud and always has been since a baby. Used to throw almighty tantrums. Meanwhile my youngest is very placid and quiet. Both parented the exact same. Don’t let some of these ignorant comments make you feel bad.

Good luck with your childminding venture!

lovemycbf · 15/05/2025 19:10

I actually think you need to teach you children to not scream.But playing a radio at 4:30am loudly to teach you a lesson is out of order and can be reported to environmental health.I’d start keeping a diary of this if neighbour persists doing this as it’s antisocial hours
and crack on with the childminding

WildflowerConstellations · 15/05/2025 19:10

Also the only person making unreasonable noise in this situation is your neighbour, who blasted music at 4.30am in response to what sounds like fairly normal noise from children within reasonable hours.

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 19:10

"Free happy loud."

What utter bullshit. Kids can play and be happy without being loud.

Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 19:09

@TheHerboriste we bought this house as the garden is big enough they don’t need to go to the park to run off steam. They are lucky enough to be able to do that in their garden

children should be seen and not heard is a long dated parenting way now.

I do respect her peace and I was respectful to her complaint and I am working harder to keep the noise down

bur no it is not antisocial noise

it is just normal noise of excited boys

OP posts:
LadyJaneEarlGreyTea · 15/05/2025 19:08

I want them to be free happy loud ( not screaming ) in the garden

You can’t just let children be free and loud in a garden where you have neighbours. There has to be consideration for others.

Leo800 · 15/05/2025 19:07

Your poor neighbour. Living next door to loud, screaming children is awful. You’re going to really p* her off with the childminding. Couldn’t you get a house with no near neighbours?

crimsonlake · 15/05/2025 19:07

You now say ' screaming' in the garden, if they scream bring them in.
Not all toddlers have tantrums, I may be looking back through rose tinted glasses but i am pretty sure mine did not.

Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 19:07

@Theextraordinaryisintheordinary yes I agree. She has fallen out with a few people on the road about it things so I knew it could happen.

the relevance was I will work in the summer house so not in my actual home as much as possible . And I chose childminding due to the size of the garden the kids could play and run around a lot so won’t be in the home lots.

OP posts:
TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 19:06

Sugargliderwombat · 15/05/2025 18:58

What times are they allowed out? That is crucial.

I think it sounds like you've bought a family style home. Not a bungalow in a retirement area. So she needs to get over the sound of kids playing or move somewhere else.

Far too few kids play in the garden and as long as you're trying to keep the noise down and discouraging any actual screaming I think it's fine.

What a miserable old toad.

What a sexist and ageist post.

The neighbour doesn't need to "get over" anything. OP's children clearly are exceeding normal playtime noise and into antisocial territory.

If OP thinks it's OK to make antisocial noise, then so can everyone else. In the neighbour's position I'd be playing death metal and loud rap with a speaker butted up to the party wall. Let them see what it's like.

In her shoes I'd also be videoing and recording anything untoward and have Ofsted on speed dial.

"Family home" doesn't = "kids needn't be trained or disciplined to be considerate of others." Does the six-year-old shriek at school or does he respect his teacher?

If kids need to burn off energy in a loud manner, let them be walked to the park.

WildflowerConstellations · 15/05/2025 19:05

Sparklebelle1024 · 15/05/2025 18:13

I’m not saying you are but we live on a lovely street and have one set of ahole neighbours who allow their young kids to SCREAM out in the garden all summer long, every year without fail, normal children playing noise is absolutely fine but these kids are feral and all they do is scream and screech all day long and the parents don’t even attempt to stop them from doing it. It’s miserable during the summer. My Asd ds really struggles and it does send HIM into meltdowns which I have to then calm him down and that’s not fair. They aren’t the “approachable” type either, think domestic violence, police, alcohol and the parents screaming at each other too!! I feel sorry for these kids but I really wish their parents would PARENT them and I know I’m not the only household in the street who feels this way from talking to my other neighbours who are all lovely!!

Christ! I hope you and your "lovely" neighbours are looking out for those kids or trying to be supportive in some way rather than all quietly judging them for their volume.

arcticpandas · 15/05/2025 19:04

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 18:59

@Beeloux yes thank you . Thought I was a good parent until today . 😂. Yes tantrums are very unreasonable he is two.
yes I have the qualifications to set up thanks and experience .

I think your neighbour is bat crazy and antisocial. Tell her if she wants to play games with disturbing you she's going to lose. You are trying your best to keep the noise down but you will stop and let hell brake loose if she doesn't stop being such a cow.

Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 19:04

@Sugargliderwombat i let them have a water fight yesterday, at 4 pm which made them loud and excited . Iv never really seen any children play with water guns etc without getting a bit loud. But yes it is a family home . 3 bedrooms . And large garden. It was for a family before us with two young boys also

OP posts:
Theroadt · 15/05/2025 19:04

You make it clear that (1) you don’t see a probkdm, despite it being a problem for your neighbour (2) you have every intention of adding to this by running a childminding business; and (3) you simply want views on thd best way of handling it with neighbour. I feel a bit sorry for your neighbour, tbh. I have kids and really dislike screaming kids. I don’t think being ND is an excuse for screaming noise all day. Surely you need planning permission for business/daycare use?

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 15/05/2025 19:02

What was the relevance of the size of the garden and the summer house pls? I’m confused. It was childish of her to do that. A conversation would’ve been better. Hope you find a way to be amicable. It’s not nice having neighbours who you don’t get on with. Good luck!!

Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 19:02

@Pebbles16 i can appreciate that would stressful. Stressful enough to me hearing wheels in the bus too many times a day.

i have a summer house at the bottom of the garden I intend to do all singing story telling music in there as it won’t be on her wall. I won’t as much as I can be in the living room. But I want them to be free happy loud ( not screaming ) in the garden as children should be but I think this could be a problem.

I also would only have 2 or 3 children ( my oldest at school won’t be there )

OP posts:
Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 18:59

@Beeloux yes thank you . Thought I was a good parent until today . 😂. Yes tantrums are very unreasonable he is two.
yes I have the qualifications to set up thanks and experience .

OP posts:
Pebbles16 · 15/05/2025 18:58

I now inadvertently live next to a childminder (actually a nursery with six children in a domestic setting).
I try to keep calm and have asked them not to do the "Wheels on the Bus" on repeat ALL THE TIME.
Mostly they are okay. Sometimes (like this morning), they scream and cry and it is set for a noisy day. We live in a 30s terrace, not a lot of escape.
I do not have (nor will ever have) children. I find it stressful but try my best to live and let live. I have next door's number and have (only once in 18 months) said it was too much.

Sugargliderwombat · 15/05/2025 18:58

What times are they allowed out? That is crucial.

I think it sounds like you've bought a family style home. Not a bungalow in a retirement area. So she needs to get over the sound of kids playing or move somewhere else.

Far too few kids play in the garden and as long as you're trying to keep the noise down and discouraging any actual screaming I think it's fine.

What a miserable old toad.

Ohmygoodnessitsmonk · 15/05/2025 18:57

I feel for you OP! I have kids and they are loud, we bought a house specifically for the garden but our neighbours are near silent. It literally stresses me out constantly as I know they think we are a pain but equally I cant tell my children to come inside all the time. trying to find the balance is HARD!

you have said that they are in bed by 7ish, do you have a time that they are allowed out? If not try to say not before 9am etc so that you can reduce noise.

Can you tuck children’s play equipment to the side/ furthest point away? Have you a fence or a hedge? We’ve invested major money in a hedge to try and decrease the sound!

Our neighbourly relations are not as good as we would like, it feels uncomfortable. However, when doing work to the house or having a BBQ we do tend to warn them. I don’t want to piss them off. So perhaps the same principle should be used.

Perhaps go to her and say look, I’m sorry my children are a bit loud - is there anything I can do to reduce the noise I.e hedging. I am also thinking of setting up a child minding business- I appreciate that this may be disappointing but I’d really like to know what I can do to make things better?

Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 18:56

@Annascaul @Sockersandbox Anna
how have you just made a narrative my children are rowdier than most 😂 i said loud . Loud deep voices. Screaming all day is insane too. It is not all day . They are at school and nursery . It is excitable laughing screaming playing in the garden after school maybe an hour or so .

OP posts:
Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 15/05/2025 18:56

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 18:48

You knew your children were loud and had meltdowns, you knew you wanted to start a childminding business, and yet you went ahead and bought a house with shared walls. What a totally dick move.

I suppose the "large garden" is so that your wards can run around and shriek and make even more noise?

Does the six-year-old scream and shout at school or nursery? If not then he CAN be quiet.

I’ve never known a childminder who didn’t live in a house without “shared walls”! Counting the two I went to as a child and the three we looked round for my own child. All terraced or semi-detached.

Greenartywitch · 15/05/2025 18:55

Kids playing outside is normal, but screaming children is not.

You seem to be implying that your kids being 'naturally loud' is just something your neighbour needs to put up with when you need to teach them to be quieter.

I also don't think that someone who can't control her own kids should set themselves up as a childminder...

Beeloux · 15/05/2025 18:54

Jesus Christ, some perfect parents on here I see. 🙄Easier said than done to tell a kid with add and asd to simply be quiet. Also not exactly sure how you expect OP to stop a 2 year old from having a tantrum?

If she pulls any more stunts of blasting the radio in the middle of the night then bang on the wall. She can go and move into a detached house in the middle of nowhere if she doesn’t want to hear any children. You're well within your right to have a childminding business in your home if you have all the correct regulations and qualifications.

HenDoNot · 15/05/2025 18:54

She could make pick ups and drop offs hard work

She’s going to compile a playlist to play with her windows wide open, as parents are walking up and down the drive…

Fuck You by Lily Allen
Fuck You by CeeLo Green
Fuck Time by Green Day
“Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me” 🤘🏼RATM

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