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Original poster

Our new Neighbours and my loud children

485 replies

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 17:53

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

OP posts:
YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 15/05/2025 19:49

I do have kids, and I think it's lazy parenting to let your kids scream and be a nuisance for the neighbours.

NOT being childfree means we know that it's perfectly possible to keep children quiet. It takes work of course, but that's being a parent.

UndermyShoeJoe · 15/05/2025 19:48

Also wouldn’t put it past your neighbour to blast music at children’s nap times once your set up. Maybe even music with profanities at drop off / pick up. Because that’s the type of neighbour you have.

Pricelessadvice · 15/05/2025 19:46

I love hearing children play, but I hate that screaming that some kids do. It’s absolutely unnecessary and should be stopped.
Laughter and raised, excited voices are lovely, but shrill screaming makes me feel murderous.

CaptainFuture · 15/05/2025 19:46

Helpmeplease2025 · 15/05/2025 18:31

Living next door to ‘loud character’ kids whose parents think they are just being kids, is my ideal of actual hell.

Yes.. especially with the 'cor bless the wee tykes... what they like....🤪'
I
She gave a good example to show how she noise travels... how would she know to complain about the noise if she couldn't hear it?

HamptonPlace · 15/05/2025 19:45

HenDoNot · 15/05/2025 18:33

A childminder living in a “huge project” of a house, who allows her children to scream and make that much noise that it has pissed the neighbour off to the point of blasting a radio through the walls at 4.30am to give you a taste of your own medicine.

Yeah, you haven’t thought this move, or your business through really, have you?

I hope you’ve got plenty of parking space, and are planning full soundproofing during your “huge project”.

Why the need for loads of space? I personally can only have 3 children. Drop off takes one minute, they’re. It going to be parked there all day, and unlikely they will all be dropped at the same exact time…

Brunts12 · 15/05/2025 19:45

Annascaul · 15/05/2025 18:12

Op’s kids sound rowdier than most.
Screaming in the garden all day is not on.

Show quote history

OP never said her kids “screaming in the garden all day”, it’s just your assumption.

beautyqueeen · 15/05/2025 19:44

Wow I think people are being harsh to you OP, it’s not the 1900s children can be heard as well as seen. Your kids should be able to play, laugh and have fun in their own garden, jeeez.

Your neighbour sounds a right bitch, spitefully trying to wake a family up at 430am is deranged, set your business up with glee, advertise lots of outdoor activities in your lovely safe garden, a mini forest school if you like, parents love that kinda shit round here!

Also if you’ve not had a kid have an episode because you’ve not distributed the correct amount of butter on their toast you’ve not lived 😂 and I say that as the mum of a ‘perfect’ girl child in mumsnet world never mind two boys 😂😂

Murdoch1949 · 15/05/2025 19:44

Your neighbour is more the problem than your children, as you know from personal experience and her history with previous owners. Children are noisy at times, especially when excited or unhappy, as they grow this eases. Carefully plan your childminding activities so that you minimise outdoor noises and utilise nearby parks for rowdy play. I was surprised at the tone of many of the responses you received.

Theboymolefoxandhorse · 15/05/2025 19:43

Not RTFT but have all your responses @Marley11 although first couple of pages seem like classic MN pile on.
Neighbour sounds ridiculous - how most people respond if the noise was so unbearable is a knock on the door and a “can you please keep it down” or a letter under the door - not waking you up at 4am to give you a “taste of your own medicine”

I completely agree that everyone should have a right to enjoy their garden and you’ve said multiple times you do try and minimise noise but yes you cannot stop kids shouting and/ or screaming all the time. You’ve said your children are in nursery and school and in bed by 7 something Monday to Friday unless their having their dinner and bath in the garden too I presume they’re out there for a maximum of a couple of hours day and then Ofc the weekends / holidays on top. So there is a fair amount of time your kids aren’t even in the garden! Agree with PP who suggested bringing them inside if they do start shouting but if it’s a semi detached then neighbour will probably hear them inside anyway too.

despite neighbours behaviour, I still think once everything is approved you should let her know of your plans - she has shown she can be quite volatile and you don’t want to set her off when you have other people’s kids at yours. You could always take the kids to the park whilst childminding too for some variation.

lazyarse123 · 15/05/2025 19:43

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 15/05/2025 19:26

Although they don’t sound like the best neighbours, part of that problem was you not enjoying living in an environment where kids play outside. OP’s children are perfectly valid to play outside and part of that means they will make noise. Op clearly stated she tries to curtail screaming etc.

By your token, the OP’s neighbour should also move somewhere with older people. Although that isn’t fail safe - she might move next to someone hard of hearing who blasts their TV loud, or someone who has a lot of visitors. As humans we all have to live around other people unless we are very rich. So better to just deal with our own issues eh?

Show quote history

I like hearing children play, I had 3 of my own plus countless friends but none of them felt the need to scream all day and if they had they would have been brought in. That's the difference having consideration for others.

HamptonPlace · 15/05/2025 19:42

Helpmeplease2025 · 15/05/2025 18:31

Living next door to ‘loud character’ kids whose parents think they are just being kids, is my ideal of actual hell.

Actual hell? What about drowning upside down in a giant trumpet?

Dontknowwhattocall13893 · 15/05/2025 19:41

OP did she speak to you prior to the 4am stunt?
Also if she does something like that again make sure to take note in case she does complain more officially.

Orangemintcream · 15/05/2025 19:40

The 4.30 am thing was petty but it’s certainly got your attention hadn’t it ?

You’ve said at least once now that you “ask” them to be quiet.

While ofcourse some noise in their own garden is to be expected you need to do a bit more than that. If they are screaming loudly in the garden they need to be brought inside.

Hallebere · 15/05/2025 19:39

Nah I'm sorry but I would be absolutely fuming if she purposely woke my kids up at 4.30am. It's a family home and kids can run free in your garden as much as they like. It would be antisocial if they were screaming in the garden after 7pm and of course you remind them not to scream. She can absolutely do one imo, the world doesn't revolve around her. She doesn't deserve to know your plans to set up as a child minder. She's clearly not a nice or reasonable person so don't tell her a thing. Cheeky madam she is.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 19:39

Allthegoodhorses · 15/05/2025 18:21

All jokes aside I nearly had a nervous breakdown living next door to a very loud family with two loud children and parents doing performative parenting. For context this was in a tiny village with detached houses and I had an acre garden. I could hear them night and day even with noise cancelling headphones and triple glazing. So I empathise with your neighbour.

I sympathise. We had the same. We ended up moving after 8 weeks (rented at the time) as we could not take the noise. Even the cat was getting ill with stress. It caused me to have grey hair. I don’t think people understand how big the impact can big with noisy neighbours.

HamptonPlace · 15/05/2025 19:39

ThejoyofNC · 15/05/2025 18:26

Say what you're saying is that you make no attempt to keep your own children quiet and you're delighted that you'll soon be able to make even more noise?

Exactly what OP did NOT say in her 2nd post. She doesn’t try to get them to be quieter..:

Dangermoo · 15/05/2025 19:37

I'd love to hear your neighbour's side of the story.

Matronic6 · 15/05/2025 19:36

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 19:34

But she also said the neighbour isn’t on keen on kids. So that comment plus the fact she said she doesn’t have children seems to imply a dig. Plenty of Childfree probably do know how noisy children can be, they were once kids themselves do not a massive shock is it?

Show quote history

But OP has updated to say the neighbor made it clear from day one that she didn't like kids because of her dog's reaction.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 15/05/2025 19:35

I think you need to start a diary if she intends on being anti social and playing music loud at 4.30am and waking your family up. That is not okay.

Carry on your life and keep a record of anything she does that could be deemed as harassment or antisocial. Also make sure you have a ring doorbell and some extra cameras as I wouldn’t put it past her to start upping the anti directly you start your child minding business.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 19:34

delightfuldweeb · 15/05/2025 18:11

im not reading this as a dig at a childless woman.
I think it’s relevant as she’s probably not used to how noisy children are so the OPs children are a bit of a shock.

Show quote history

But she also said the neighbour isn’t on keen on kids. So that comment plus the fact she said she doesn’t have children seems to imply a dig. Plenty of Childfree probably do know how noisy children can be, they were once kids themselves do not a massive shock is it?

Original poster
Marley11 · 15/05/2025 19:33

@Peaceandquietandacuppa i know . My two year old was so grumpy today so her radio would of made it harder for her and me

no she never ever leaves her house. Is always home. So does notice everything

OP posts:
HamptonPlace · 15/05/2025 19:33

Daffodilsarefading · 15/05/2025 18:19

It’s a good job you don’t line next door to us. My dh is a complete music enthusiast and has a very loud stereo which would blown your mind.
He doesn’t play it loud, but would do if you behaved like your dcs do.
You need to teach your children to use quieter voices.
I can’t abide adults who think it’s fine to shout and scream in public. You are teaching your DCs to because such adults.
Bare in mind if you annoy your neighbour, she will do it back to you, and do it whilst you have other children there.

But it’s not in public. It’s in their own home.

Dontknowwhattocall13893 · 15/05/2025 19:32

BoredZelda · 15/05/2025 19:27

You're not seriously suggesting she should be videoing into OPs garden to film children that she thinks are being too loud? Do you actually think that would be reasonable behaviour?
If she wants to lodge a noise complaint that’s exactly what she will be told to do. Get evidence of the nuisance.

OP I don't think your kids sound out of the ordinary and I think a lot on here sound miserable and unreasonable.

You haven’t met them, you don’t know. What matters is, the neighbour thinks it’s unreasonable.

Neither have the other posters here who say they sound excessive
She's describing the situation and from the information we have available I've formed my opinion.. as you do on an opinion forum.

RealEagle · 15/05/2025 19:32

BoredZelda · 15/05/2025 19:24

It isn’t illegal. And children do need to be trained, although we tend to call it teaching.

Show quote history

You need parental consent to film under 16s.

UndermyShoeJoe · 15/05/2025 19:32

She’s a arse for blasting the music but she’s clearly very noise adverse as well so I do think you will come to issues running what’s going to be let’s face is a noisy business.

Because she will 100% moan to the council and likely the parents who are your customers and if they feel uncomfortable by her you will lose them as clients.