Page 10 | Our new Neighbours and my loud children

academicallyblonde · 15/05/2025 20:49

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 17:53

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

They are obviously quiet when they are sleeping so, by waking them at 4.30am, she is surely prolonging the noise. I find that an odd reaction.

Original poster

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:49

@Youstolemygoddamnhouse you asked me . I explained : you take things the wrong way on these posts .

I couldn’t care less how she lives her life . I do not judge others on their life choices. Hats off to her for choosing a peaceful life . Clever women.

so again you have judged me from misinterpreting my comment.

I was explaining that she doesn’t spend time with children nor do children visit . And she told me she doesn’t like children. Therefore I think it’s safe to say she’s is not used to children’s noise

I’m starting to think you are my next door neighbour logged onto mumsnet

OP posts:

spoonbillstretford · 15/05/2025 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

When it real villains were the two brats who disturbed her home. 👀

You got from the story that she was a poor old woman being disturbed by kids? Not luring children to their torture and death, by constructing an irresistible house made of sweets? A death which involved being keeping them in a cage, fattening them up then cooking and eating them.

Yes, I'm sure she was just a misunderstood individual who liked peace and quiet. 🦇💩🤪

ExpressCheckout · 15/05/2025 20:46

You need to be honest with her about your plans to offer a childcare service. Not only will there be increased noise, but there will also be increased traffic/parking at certain times, etc.

Also consider as part of your business insurance the likelihood that she may sue you for noise nuisance (yes, she can do this). This is obviously more likely if you are already in a dispute with her.

Tread carefully OP. Neither you or your neighbour are in the wrong here, but for the sake of harmony you do need to find a way through this which keeps her from future formal or legal complaints.

Have you invited her round for coffee to meet the boys? Can you agree a 'playtime' period, so at least she knows when to expect noise? There are a few diplomatic moves you could make here to repair the relationship, it's not too late.

spoonbillstretford · 15/05/2025 20:46

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 15/05/2025 20:39

It sounds like you’re considering all options which to me is a good neighbour and a good parent.

Some responses on here have been vile - especially one who threatens to wake sleeping babies with loud/sweary music deliberately.

Show quote history

She sounds rather illogical and is just making things worse for herself.

It's just illogical. Noisy kids at 7pm - so fucking what? Noisy kids waking up at 4.30am, absolutely excruciating. And also illegal to play loud music then, whereas children playing outside in the early evening isn't, obviously.

I'd be tempted to buy an air horn and wait until she'd gone to sleep.

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hollyhedge · 15/05/2025 20:45

WomenInSTEM · 15/05/2025 18:02

Nice of you to shoehorn in the fact that she doesn't have children.

FFS.

Agree. Woman without children, come on. I have DC I think I’d be getting annoyed. Less judgement

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 20:45

Merryoldgoat · 15/05/2025 20:42

Just as you harassing me at 4am would be recorded too.

It’s not like the neighbour knocked and tried to have a reasonable conversation is it? Imagine behaving the way she did rather than popping over and discussing it like reasonable people.

I have two disabled children and very good relations with both neighbours. Because we’re all reasonable and considerate.

Her moving straight to her petty shit shows you the kind of idiot she is.

Show quote history

I don't waste my time knocking on the doors of noisy inconsiderate pisstakers; it's a foregone conclusion that they would not be cooperative or receptive.

Nor would I harrass at 4am. But I certainly would fight fire with fire between 7am and 11pm. Naptime or no naptime, childminding clients or not.

If OP wants to make it the neighbourhood norm to create loud noise, she'll find herself suffering the same as everyone else..

Original poster

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:45

@spoonbillstretford haha that would solve everything .

But can’t see that happening . She has lived there for 30+ years . So I think we rocked the boat moving into the ‘ village ‘

OP posts:

PointsSouth · 15/05/2025 20:44

Our kids left home a while ago. Our home is very peaceful now. And we get to sleep in on weekends.

A young family just moved in next door, and they have four under ten. At the first glimmer of sun they're out in their garden, running around, shouting, whooping it up on their trampoline.

It's great. We've missed it.

Crazylittleworld · 15/05/2025 20:44

I think you’ve been given a hard time here OP.

Your kids don’t sound obscene even with their additional needs. They’re in the comfort of their own home, they shouldn’t need to tip toe around because of some miserable old bint next door.
She does know she was a child once, right? If she wants silence then she’s well within her right to move to a house completely isolated and away from any noise.
Even before we had kids we weren’t dead silent in our garden, we’d have music on (not ridiculously loud but at an enjoyable level) and a natter. What’s the point otherwise?
Tell her you’re setting up the business, but do exactly that, tell her. She is not allowed an input. She can report you all she likes to environmental health for noise, they’d laugh her all the way out.
Also, what a fool for waking everyone up at 4.30. Does she not realise that will make kids loudier and more aggy because they are tired?!
Stand firm, you’re all allowed to enjoy your space whilst respecting each other x

Calmdownpeople · 15/05/2025 20:43

drspouse · 15/05/2025 20:41

Children make noise. You are obviously doing your best. They, however loud they are, don't make noise outside sociable hours. I assume your 6 yo is in school too.
But she makes her noise in the middle of the night which is legally antisocial hours.
I would have a firm word with her. Explain you are doing your best, explain about your younger one's additional needs, and remind her that most council sociable hours are around 7 am to 11pm.

Then crack on with what you were planning to do anyway.

I get what you are saying but unfortunately she can just move her music until 10-11 and that doesn’t help anyone.

Original poster

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:42

@drspouse thank you for this advise . I think I need to go and speak with her again tomorrow . With a clear idea of what I’m saying . Thanks

OP posts:

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 20:42

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:41

@TheHerboriste i have never of this . I will definitely look into it as it would interesting to know .

They are about £15 on Amazon.

Merryoldgoat · 15/05/2025 20:42

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 20:29

If you came over to tell me that you'd be video-ed as part of my dossier for the council, told to fuck off and had the door shut in your face.

Show quote history

Just as you harassing me at 4am would be recorded too.

It’s not like the neighbour knocked and tried to have a reasonable conversation is it? Imagine behaving the way she did rather than popping over and discussing it like reasonable people.

I have two disabled children and very good relations with both neighbours. Because we’re all reasonable and considerate.

Her moving straight to her petty shit shows you the kind of idiot she is.

Original poster

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:41

@TheHerboriste i have never of this . I will definitely look into it as it would interesting to know .

OP posts:

drspouse · 15/05/2025 20:41

Children make noise. You are obviously doing your best. They, however loud they are, don't make noise outside sociable hours. I assume your 6 yo is in school too.
But she makes her noise in the middle of the night which is legally antisocial hours.
I would have a firm word with her. Explain you are doing your best, explain about your younger one's additional needs, and remind her that most council sociable hours are around 7 am to 11pm.

Then crack on with what you were planning to do anyway.

spoonbillstretford · 15/05/2025 20:40

Hopefully she'll move out when you tell her about the childminding 😆

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 20:39

OP, have you ever considered setting up a decibel metre for an objective reading on just how loud your children are? The are inexpensive and readily available.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 15/05/2025 20:39

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:20

@Theboymolefoxandhorse @rainbowsandraspberrygin rthank you for these responses. It’s made me feel a lot better about the whole situation.

I have thought today it isn’t worth setting up. But yes you are right I do think if it wasn’t that it would be something else she will eventually find to moan about.

yea I will look into sound proofing and try to make amends with her despite my feelings of her waking us all at 4.30 am.

I don’t think she would understand asd although I think it’s his adhd that makes him as bouncy as he is . I kind of didn’t want to explain to her too much about my children and their needs, other than apologise and say I will try my best to get them to stop shouting so much .

I work really hard to keep my children grounded and not out of control. But if I’m cooking etc and they are playing in the garden I can’t at all times stop them shouting . But yeah thanks iv taken all this on board for a way to move forward thank you

It sounds like you’re considering all options which to me is a good neighbour and a good parent.

Some responses on here have been vile - especially one who threatens to wake sleeping babies with loud/sweary music deliberately.

Original poster

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:38

@Youstolemygoddamnhouse oh she communicated just fine when she knocked on my door at 6 am to tell me why she put her radio on. She communicates just fine trust me .

the noise is usually while I make dinner at 5 ish . They have a bath at 6 ish and bed at 7

and maybe Sundays if it’s a nice day and we play in the garden. We go out very often though .

OP posts:

Youstolemygoddamnhouse · 15/05/2025 20:37

TheHerboriste · 15/05/2025 20:24

I wouldn't do 4:30am but you can bet those kids would be taking their naps to the most annoying music I could get my hands on, played at the same decibel level as their screaming and screeching. For hours.

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂 I actually don’t blame the kids. As annoying as it is but i blame the parenting and what they are taught or not taught, how to behave/not behave. But yes I have done something very similar in the past and I’m that petty I would do it again.

Original poster

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 20:36

@WomenInSTEM of course I know this. I have many best friends and family memebers who have chosen to not have children . Who still spend time with children .

she does not spend time with anyone but her husband and does not enjoy children around she told me. No one visits their home.

OP posts:

Russiandollsaresofullofthemselves · 15/05/2025 20:36

you answered your own question. Don’t be a dick!

ifIwerenotanandroid · 15/05/2025 20:35

OP: 'i want to be able to set up my business and get along with my neighbour and respect her peace but also for her to understand we bought our home for the freedom to do these things .'

So how are you planning to achieve these apparently irreconcilable goals? If you can't think of a way to do it all then don't set up the business, or find other premises in which to do it.