Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why the f*** can’t I lose weight? I’m doing everything right

647 replies

Sorryagain · 29/03/2025 06:12

Postmeno, 55, want to lose half a stone. I don’t like my weight. I’ve always worked out, done lots of heavy-ish weights and eaten healthily but in the last month I’ve really upped weights a lot. I’ve also

  • kept to a low calorie count (20% off my TEE - track food most days. Try to keep to 3 meals but some days I do graze but not over cal limit
  • upped protein most days to around 100-120g a day
  • upped walking to try to do 7.5-10k a day
  • added at least one HITT class onto 3 days weight training
  • drink more water (my weakness)

i don’t drink, I eat v little sugar and almost no white stuff

the scales have moved by 1lb! I’m so fucked off.

I know post meno it’s hard but this is ridiculous.

I feel stronger, though, and I sense more muscle definition. But I don’t believe muscle will weigh more and keep me at this weight

thoughts? It’s v un motivating

OP posts:
whatswrongwivme · 29/03/2025 16:11

I genuinely cannot understand how someone who only weighs 9 stone and has a BMI of 23 feels that they need to lose half a stone. If weighing scales had never been invented would you be happy with your body?

Delatron · 29/03/2025 16:07

Nice to see this thread has descended in to who can eat the fewest calories competition. Not healthy at all.

HappiestSleeping · 29/03/2025 16:05

Cerealkiller9000 · 29/03/2025 15:28

Ahh. You needed to work it that way then as not everyone understands that.

I did indeed. 👍

expat321 · 29/03/2025 15:57

Sorryagain · 29/03/2025 06:22

I’m 5ft 2, 1129lb.

I used this:
www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/

then reduced by 20%

I eat 1350 cals a day. I also track macros

5"2 and eating 1350cal a day is TOO MUCH.

I'm 5"6 and eat less than that (I have cheat days, but I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm thin already).

thriftyhen · 29/03/2025 15:53

Bogginsthe3rd · 29/03/2025 14:19

She didn't actually stay steps. You walk / run more than 10k every day ?

For info, the goal is the minimum set to gain Vitality points.

Why the f*** can’t I lose weight? I’m doing everything right
Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2025 15:41

"Is there a particular part of your body you want to lose it from? Can you target that area??"

That's impossible, isn't it?

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2025 15:39

Cerealkiller9000 · 29/03/2025 15:28

Ahh. You needed to work it that way then as not everyone understands that.

It's pretty clear. We all understand that iron is heavier than feathers (for the same volume).

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2025 15:38

vandelle · 29/03/2025 14:25

Exercise is good, but people lose weight without it too.

And it's not even advised as a way to lose weight for normal people who are not able to be exercising the number of hours required.

thriftyhen · 29/03/2025 15:37

Bogginsthe3rd · 29/03/2025 14:19

She didn't actually stay steps. You walk / run more than 10k every day ?

Yes!

Cerealkiller9000 · 29/03/2025 15:28

HappiestSleeping · 29/03/2025 11:55

Absolutely true, what I meant was that for any given physical volume, the equivalent fat will weigh less than muscle. So, you can get smaller, but weigh more.

Useful clarification.

Ahh. You needed to work it that way then as not everyone understands that.

Shitmonger · 29/03/2025 15:20

To put another myth to bed, it isn’t muscle gain. As a woman, and being in her 50s, OP would be looking at 0.5 pound of muscle gain in around a month. And that’s if she was actually trying to gain muscle/training reasonably hard, which she isn’t by the activity she’s described.

A younger woman trying to gain muscle might manage 1 pound of muscle gain per month for around 12 months. After that it would slow exponentially. It’s a long slog for us.

FortyElephants · 29/03/2025 15:08

Astrabees · 29/03/2025 14:56

@FortyElephants Still full of assumptions and thinking you know my body better than me! Firstly although I am 5'3" and have clearly stated this you have done your "calculation" on 5'5". Secondly for some strange reason you have assumed I don't exercise. FYI I run 5k 2 x per week, go to 3 yoga and one pilates class and pop in for aerobics if I can find the time, and walk my dogs everyday. I don't need you to tell me how my body reacts to certain levels of food intake, I know that 1000 calories = 2lb per week weight loss, for me. 1000 calories is actually plenty of food if you plan it right:
Today, poached egg and spinach for breakfast, tofu and mixed salad for lunch with some pulses in the mix, supper large portion of quorn chilli with brown rice and some strawberries for after. Of course I vary it day to day, and it is much easier being vegetarian.

I don't assume anything, I put in those details as an example! You've also just contradicted yourself. You said you can't lose weight unless you eat 1000 calories and now you're saying you lose 2lb a week on 1000 calories so what you initially said was bollocks. This thread is full of unhelpful, borderline ED promoting misinformation and bollocks.

tivolidancer · 29/03/2025 15:00

I don’t think you’re eating enough for the amount of exercise you are doing. Do you have an In Body scanner at your gym? That will show you what’s going on. I do 4 x CrossFit sessions a week, 1 x ballet class and try and run at least 6km. I eat 2,000 kcal a day. I have gained half a stone in weight since starting CrossFit but lost 4% body fat so look slimmer. I am very happy with how I look and feel and have lots of energy. If your body is in starvation mode, you are going to ruin your metabolism and your body will hold onto as much weight as it possibly can. It sounds counterintuitive but you need to eat more.

Astrabees · 29/03/2025 14:56

@FortyElephants Still full of assumptions and thinking you know my body better than me! Firstly although I am 5'3" and have clearly stated this you have done your "calculation" on 5'5". Secondly for some strange reason you have assumed I don't exercise. FYI I run 5k 2 x per week, go to 3 yoga and one pilates class and pop in for aerobics if I can find the time, and walk my dogs everyday. I don't need you to tell me how my body reacts to certain levels of food intake, I know that 1000 calories = 2lb per week weight loss, for me. 1000 calories is actually plenty of food if you plan it right:
Today, poached egg and spinach for breakfast, tofu and mixed salad for lunch with some pulses in the mix, supper large portion of quorn chilli with brown rice and some strawberries for after. Of course I vary it day to day, and it is much easier being vegetarian.

NoAprilFool · 29/03/2025 14:45

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2025 13:05

I'm very interested in what Stacey Simms has to say, but I think it's a bit premature to say every woman should ditch intermittent fasting.
Having said that, intermittent fasting isn't really for weightloss anyway as you eat about the same amount, just within a window.

No, you’re right, I was a bit too black and white in my comment!

vandelle · 29/03/2025 14:25

Exercise is good, but people lose weight without it too.

Bogginsthe3rd · 29/03/2025 14:19

thriftyhen · 29/03/2025 13:43

No, not an Ironman, but a lot more daily activity/exercise than the OP largely due to having horses and dogs, and 10k steps would be a day off for me!

So 7-10k steps daily and four days of gym activity may not be enough if the OP wants to lose weight.

She didn't actually stay steps. You walk / run more than 10k every day ?

FortyElephants · 29/03/2025 14:07

thriftyhen · 29/03/2025 13:43

No, not an Ironman, but a lot more daily activity/exercise than the OP largely due to having horses and dogs, and 10k steps would be a day off for me!

So 7-10k steps daily and four days of gym activity may not be enough if the OP wants to lose weight.

Weight loss doesn't really happen in the gym. And when you're a very active person with the privilege of a lifestyle that allows you to spend your days with horses and dogs instead of sitting at a desk to pay the mortgage it's pretty snide to suggest someone who isn't in your position, and who actually does a lot more exercise than the average person, isn't exercising much.

Delatron · 29/03/2025 14:04

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2025 13:29

Depends what you believe your protein target should be. If you believe it should be around a gram per kilo of ideal body weight, it's easily doable in two meals, but if you believe it should be a gram per pound of ideal body weight, it is harder with two meals. However, it should be possible to have whatever you'd have for breakfast as a starter/side for another meal.

Yeah I believe it should be more but I know it’s a contentious issue. It’s very individual. I have a very active job/walk the dog for miles every day and then exercise on top. So I need that morning fuel and I need plenty of protein. I just can’t eat double the amount at lunch - I’d never get it down me!

I appreciate everybody is different and you need to find what works for you.

herbetta · 29/03/2025 13:56

Sorryagain · 29/03/2025 07:09

Why are you assuming im not?

Apologies, but because of the comments you made about the menopause being likely responsible for the issue.

If pre-menopause you never had an issue with weight, then it is likely to be hormone related. Maybe you need to up your HRT? I have had to over the last few years.

I also work out & do a lot of weights & cardio, swim etc at least 4 days out of 7. Plus walk a lot. I get you, I'm 5ft 8 & weigh 53kg - I eat very well with lots of protein 70% of the time. I also eat some crap & drink alcohol. I struggle to put on lean weight both visibly & on the scales, but I'm always going to have some fat round my middle. I think the only way for me to shift that would be no alcohol & a perfect diet, which would make me miserable. So like others have said, I am now happy with the balance and am slowly trying to gain more weight and muscle mass. If I have more cake / calories etc over a weekend then I look podgier around my middle.

Is there a particular part of your body you want to lose it from? Can you target that area??

thriftyhen · 29/03/2025 13:43

Bogginsthe3rd · 29/03/2025 12:35

Her activity levels look low ?

To quote op she:

  • upped walking to try to do 7.5-10k a day
  • added at least one HITT class onto 3 days weight training

What are you doing? A daily ironman?

Edited

No, not an Ironman, but a lot more daily activity/exercise than the OP largely due to having horses and dogs, and 10k steps would be a day off for me!

So 7-10k steps daily and four days of gym activity may not be enough if the OP wants to lose weight.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/03/2025 13:29

Delatron · 29/03/2025 13:25

My other issue with intermittent fasting (and one is mentioned in the Next Level book) is that it’s very hard to hit your protein goals with 2 meals a day in a smaller window. That’s why I need breakfast- as I can get a good 30g in then. I wouldn’t hit that target if I just ate lunch and dinner.

Depends what you believe your protein target should be. If you believe it should be around a gram per kilo of ideal body weight, it's easily doable in two meals, but if you believe it should be a gram per pound of ideal body weight, it is harder with two meals. However, it should be possible to have whatever you'd have for breakfast as a starter/side for another meal.

Delatron · 29/03/2025 13:25

My other issue with intermittent fasting (and one is mentioned in the Next Level book) is that it’s very hard to hit your protein goals with 2 meals a day in a smaller window. That’s why I need breakfast- as I can get a good 30g in then. I wouldn’t hit that target if I just ate lunch and dinner.

cadburyegg · 29/03/2025 13:24

I’m 5ft 2. It’s harder being shorter, I don’t feel like it’s talked about enough that it’s harder for us to lose weight.

1350 calories would be too much for me in order to lose weight.

But you are a perfectly healthy weight at 9st 2. Whilst I’ve lost weight recently, I’m 2 stone heavier than you atm and my goal weight is 9st 7. I know I won’t be able to maintain less than that.

Tessiebear2023 · 29/03/2025 13:24

highfidelity · 29/03/2025 12:58

Charming. And I don't care, it's repeated many times over this thread (and across the many weight loss boards) that muscle weighs more than fat, so it's worth pointing up that it's total crap.

An average size brick made of muscle will weigh more than the same size brick made of fat.

This might be true, but it's rarely written as so, and why I will continue to be a pedant every time I see someone write the nonsense about muscle weighing more than fat. Context and being precise is everything. If this makes me a pedant, so be it.

🤷🏻‍♀️

People will say muscle weighs more than fat in the same way they'll say lead is a heavy metal and aluminium isn't (and you'll even hear scientists say that). Yes, we're talking about density here, but everyone understands that, your pedantic input isn't needed. Try convincing the physicists they need to change the terms on the periodic table.