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Original poster

New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

917 replies

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:43

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

OP posts:
chambawamba · 12/03/2025 23:14

My worst nightmares ... someone who won't travel or try "different" foods.

Don't tell me he's mean with money, as that's another of my hates!!!!

carrotycrumble · 12/03/2025 23:13

So he doesn't eat out and doesn't drive. Is he hung like a donkey or something?

ThatsNotMyTeen · 12/03/2025 23:13

Oh god he sounds like a dick. Also as someone married to a chef who is extremely diligent on dietary requirements it’s a pretty offensive stance too given his reasoning. Eating out is a fun way to socialise. I’d bin him

Stirabout · 12/03/2025 23:13

Sounds like he either
can’t afford to eat out or can but worried about cash flow moving forward.

BananaNirvana · 12/03/2025 23:13

He sounds soooooooo boring! Leave aside the restaurant thing and the mental tofu sandwich 😩, no cinema or beach?? Fuck that!

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 12/03/2025 23:13

Can you honestly see a future with him? Don't waste your time...

Maurepas · 12/03/2025 23:12

Potato and 6 tomatoes? What a prince! Plus dirty kitchen??

ThatsNotMyTeen · 12/03/2025 23:12

Oh god he sounds like a dick. Also as someone married to a chef who is extremely diligent on dietary requirements it’s a pretty offensive stance too. Eating out is a fun way to socialise. I’d bin him

HerbalBovril · 12/03/2025 23:12

What/how would he eat at his OWN wedding?! 😂

LadyInRainbow · 12/03/2025 23:12

He sounds like a bit of an obsessive or paranoid vegan and I say that as a vegan! Will he go vegan places? Also these days chefs really can’t get away with contaminating food due to allergen rules.

Original poster
Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 23:12

Stirabout · 12/03/2025 23:11

Are you sure it’s just the food preferences putting him off from eating out.
There are lots of vegetarian and vegan restaurants around these days……wouldn’t he go to those.

What about coffee / tea out. Not much chefs can do to contaminate those. Would he visit coffee shops?

I think it sounds like an excuse to avoid the expense.

although agree lots of restaurants still haven’t got a clue re vegan and vegetarian food. Even the likes of Jamie Oliver’s don’t know what gelatine is….

We did have coffee out. He ordered black coffee.

OP posts:
Stirabout · 12/03/2025 23:11

Are you sure it’s just the food preferences putting him off from eating out.
There are lots of vegetarian and vegan restaurants around these days……wouldn’t he go to those.

What about coffee / tea out. Not much chefs can do to contaminate those. Would he visit coffee shops?

I think it sounds like an excuse to avoid the expense.

although agree lots of restaurants still haven’t got a clue re vegan and vegetarian food. Even the likes of Jamie Oliver’s don’t know what gelatine is….

Original poster
Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 23:11

OK he is extremely skinny...to those saying eating disorder. But he has happily eaten food I've cooked.

As for tight? Not sure. He wears the same clothes constantly (as in the exact same clothes). He's bought me small gifts. He will buy me drinks out.

OP posts:
Defiantlynot41 · 12/03/2025 23:11

OMFG. As a coeliac diabetic who is a great cook (so I prefer my own food) I still eat out at friends houses and in restaurants/cafes a few times a a week. To do otherwise would mean massively curtailing my social life and that of my partner. I couldn't be that selfish

Bruisername · 12/03/2025 23:10

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 23:08

He doesn't mind what I eat.

Good point on lagers and wines as he drinks fosters, peroni, cruzcampo for sure...and Budweiser...not sure if they're all vegan? If not I am again going to have to put this to him solely to hear his no doubt firm explaination of how this is coherent

Show quote history

My understanding is that very few beers are vegan but happy to be corrected!

if he is happy for you to cook for him and you are not vegan then is he worried about contamination?

I honestly think he’s just tight tbh

Mabiscuit · 12/03/2025 23:10

A dirty unhygienic kitchen would bother me more and mine isn't spotless!

GreenRugbyField · 12/03/2025 23:10

Miserable existence, avoid him

HomeTheatreSystem · 12/03/2025 23:10

Urgh God no. Unhygienic dirty kitchen and won't ever eat out? He does indeed sound like hard work.

Original poster
Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 23:08

Bruisername · 12/03/2025 23:04

Does he trust the pub to only give him uncontaminated vegan beer? Are you only allowed to eat vegan when with him (or are you vegan too?)?

are you sure he’s not just tight?

He doesn't mind what I eat.

Good point on lagers and wines as he drinks fosters, peroni, cruzcampo for sure...and Budweiser...not sure if they're all vegan? If not I am again going to have to put this to him solely to hear his no doubt firm explaination of how this is coherent

OP posts:
Grammarnut · 12/03/2025 23:08

I would find it difficult to live with a vegan and your new DP doesn't sound a lot of fun. Does he expect you to be vegan as well?

multilingualmum · 12/03/2025 23:07

Being fussy and rigid like this will mean he will be rigid in other areas of life and generally not very open minded, it wouldn’t be for me

DBD1975 · 12/03/2025 23:07

OP there is more going on here than him being vegan.
I would think either a serious eating disorder or money issues.
Nobody would want to be subjected to sharing a life with someone like this, don't waste your time on him, he needs to be with another vegan who shares his views (good luck to him with finding that lucky lady)!

WavyRavey · 12/03/2025 23:06

There's so many nice vegan restaurants that are very strict about their food, he's just being a melt

saraclara · 12/03/2025 23:05

That's not veganism. That's an eating disorder. And I'd bail. I couldn't have my life restricted to the degree that we couldn't eat anywhere other than home. Not even with friends or family at their homes.

It sounds like there are other things going on as well, like the cinema thing.
So no, I'd be sorry that he has these issues, but I wouldn't want to spend my life working around them and not fully living.

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