Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

917 replies

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:43

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

OP posts:
Fountofwisdom · 13/03/2025 06:09

HomeBodyClub · 12/03/2025 22:57

It wouldn’t bother me too much if it was only that but it sounds like he doesn’t do anything.

ONLY that?? Only something that will affect OP’s life and eating habits on a daily basis? Nah, he’s a tool.

helphelphelpmeee · 13/03/2025 06:08

Oh sorry Op, but I couldn't date someone like that! Does he go for Coffee? Or to the pub?

Fountofwisdom · 13/03/2025 06:05

What an absolute tosser on every level. Chuck him in the food waste bin (along with his tofu and chickenless chunks) and run for the hills and the nearest steakhouse.

WillIEverBeOk · 13/03/2025 06:04

This guy has more issues than Time magazine. He sounds very, very odd. Imagine not ever being to go to restaurants, eat at festivals, concerts, even go on holidays. He sounds unhinged and lacking socialisation. Ain't nobody got time for that. Throw him back. It's a lot easier now before you get too involved and moving in.

FrenchandSaunders · 13/03/2025 06:01

Forget the rest of it … I’d dump him for drinking Fosters.

HellsBalls · 13/03/2025 06:00

Another agreement that he sounds like too high maintenance to bother with.
Suggest a holiday somewhere or weekend away and see how it goes.

travelforthesoul · 13/03/2025 05:52

oh dear, he sounds like he needs a good scrub! I would be ditching him. A filthy kitchen would be enough for me to throw him back

ItisIbeserk · 13/03/2025 05:50

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/03/2025 23:42

Unfair.

I have lots of vegan friends and they make a great effort to feed us meat eaters as we feed them.

A friend had a BBQ and cooked vegan options on the BBQ and asked to borrow a baking tray, duly loaned. Went round to said tray full of meat sausages, burgers and chicken. We do the same for them.

However the "Romesh Vegan" is annoying.

What on earth is a Romesh Vegan?

@Beautifulbouquet the pub quiz thing alone would do it for me. I’m glad you’re feeling motivated to move on here.

AlteredStater · 13/03/2025 05:49

He did once bring a potato and six tomatoes to my house.

😂

Honestly OP if he's like this now when you are just dating, imagine what being married to him would be like! He's got a lot of issues that need sorting out, and you shouldn't be the one to do it!

Hattie907 · 13/03/2025 05:47

HeyThereDelila · 13/03/2025 05:10

Get rid. You’ll end up miserable and resentful. He needs to learn the world doesn’t revolve around him and his wants. You’re incompatible, that’s reason enough to break up.

You’ll end up miserable and resentful.

Absolutely. If he’s this insufferable and just so unsexy now when dating and when couples tend to try to show their best sides, I can’t imagine what he’ll be like when he inevitably goes through his ‘cantankerous, increasingly stuck-in-his-ways stage’ which a few people in my life are going through.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 13/03/2025 05:30

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:47

I haven't even thought about holidays!! He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday. I don't think he's been on holiday for 6 years actually. He also doesn't like going to the cinema as he doesn't like sitting still for long periods.

Well he sounds like great fun. No holidays ,no eating out, no cinema. What does he enjoy ?

RussetLeaf · 13/03/2025 05:16

For some balance, can we hear what his qualities are? Is he hot, talented, a good conversationalist, funny, interesting… anything?

So far I’ve read he never eats out, only wears black, has a filthy kitchen, once brought you a potato and 6 tomatoes, can’t sit through a film, doesn’t go on holiday and basically sucks the joy out of every situation. Why have you been seeing this cold-tofu-sandwich of a man in the first place?

Beautifulbouquet · 13/03/2025 05:14

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 13/03/2025 01:25

Did you not read the thread, or at least the OP's updates? Or do you just have really low standards?

-Doesn't eat out*, go to the cinema, go on holiday, go to the beach, drive, do pub quizzes.
-Overly paranoid yet fake vegan.
-Filthy kitchen.
-Eats cold tofu sandwiches and drinks Fosters (and I say this as an Australian who loves tofu).

*Dinner companionship being OP's main reason for wanting to date.

"overly paranoid yet fake vegan" has made me laugh out loud.

OP posts:
HeyThereDelila · 13/03/2025 05:10

Get rid. You’ll end up miserable and resentful. He needs to learn the world doesn’t revolve around him and his wants. You’re incompatible, that’s reason enough to break up.

Smittenkitchen · 13/03/2025 05:07

As has probably already been suggested, it sounds like it stems from something more complex than him just being vegan. At the hotel for example he could easily have had fresh fruit for breakfast in the confidence that it were vegan.. Depending on how important food and eating out is to you.. I think you might find that this is a huge sticking point and really saps the joy out of your life.

namechangealerttt · 13/03/2025 05:01

I love eating out, so someone that by choice refuses to, I would not be compatible with.

oakleaffy · 13/03/2025 04:49

LadyOfTheCanyon · 13/03/2025 04:44

Honey, nobody needs a boyfriend this badly.

Can't eat 🍯 honey!!
Not Vegan!

oakleaffy · 13/03/2025 04:48

MoodEnhancer · 12/03/2025 22:47

Forever??

A sure fire way to lose weight 😂

LadyOfTheCanyon · 13/03/2025 04:44

Honey, nobody needs a boyfriend this badly.

LBFseBrom · 13/03/2025 04:37

If eating out is important to you, he is not the right boyfriend.

Tinydancer35 · 13/03/2025 04:33

You went on the second date with this weirdo?
As soon as Tofu appeared I would have left 😂

Could he be on the spectrum? Warning only black clothes sounds odd af!

PointsSouth · 13/03/2025 04:23

What’s the point of a relationship that can be sustained only by you giving up things you enjoy?

lily219 · 13/03/2025 04:16

I don't eat out or have takeaways often - I prefer to cook my own food. But I'd hate to never go out for a meal! It's sociable and an important part of celebrations. Think of Christmas dinners, barbecues, picnics - so many things he wouldn't do or would sit there with his miserable vegan sandwich. Dump him.

SunnyPaw · 13/03/2025 04:13

There is a vegetarian restaurant outside, right? Leave him now. It's boring to be with such a person.

HerbalBovril · 13/03/2025 04:11

getahhtmapub · 13/03/2025 03:30

And by the way OP you say you sit drinking wine. The vast majority of wine is definitely NOT vegan. The winemaking process uses egg white in the fining process

And shellfish!

Swipe left for the next trending thread