Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

917 replies

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:43

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

OP posts:
soarklyknobs · 13/03/2025 07:35

Boooooorriiiiinnngggg.

Don't spend your life being bored, it's too precious.

AirborneElephant · 13/03/2025 07:31

He doesn’t sound like a great catch, way too much like hard work. And food and going out for nice meals ect is a really important part of a relationship in my world, it lasts a lot longer than that initial lust phase! so it would be a no from me.

Huckyfell · 13/03/2025 07:27

Damnloginpopup · 13/03/2025 06:58

What if they breed more vegans though?

I don't think they are allowed to breed, 1. They aren't allowed meat. 2. They aren't allowed milk.

butterpuffed · 13/03/2025 07:27

He did once bring a potato and six tomatoes to my house.

Did he make them last a week , like MNers with a chicken ?

Strictlymad · 13/03/2025 07:24

Tbh I don’t like eating out and I’m not a huge fan of holidays, but I understand they are part of normal life that many enjoy and so I do it anyway and to please those I’m with including dh and dc so the fact he won’t bend for you speaks volumes

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 13/03/2025 07:10

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:47

I haven't even thought about holidays!! He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday. I don't think he's been on holiday for 6 years actually. He also doesn't like going to the cinema as he doesn't like sitting still for long periods.

It's all about him and his requirements isn't it? How old is he that he is so unadventurous?

Snoopdoggydog123 · 13/03/2025 07:09

Stirabout · 12/03/2025 23:50

There aren’t many vegetarians or vegans that would either buy or cook meat.
Speaking as a veggie since 1980.

Maybe they are vegan for health reasons but anyone who does it for the love of animals would never cook them , it’s not exactly showing love.

Its very rare.

Agree entirely with the first line though, but lots of people make those sort of sweeping ridiculous comments …..

I know many.
My mum being one.
A Vegitarian since 15 she had me and my sister mid 20s and raised us eating meat. She cooks for me even now she's a vegan.

She's a vegan because of animal welfare but believes that her choices shouldn't impact others. She doesnt even let us tell the kids as she doesn't want to influence them.

My sister turned vegetarian I didn't.
She has no views on either as long as we're healthy.

BarbieGirl2025 · 13/03/2025 07:07

Adult fussy eaters actually make me cringe, this will never get any better. Dump him and find a nice man who will take you out for a steak 😋 😋

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 13/03/2025 07:04

I have ARFID and therefore have a very restricted diet but I will still eat out as I enjoy the social side of a meal with family and friends.

It's not the fact he's vegan, it's the unwillingness to compromise.

Olive567 · 13/03/2025 07:03

Sounds like your life would become smaller and shrink being with him - not good. A partner should enhance your life.

beAsensible1 · 13/03/2025 07:02

Teateaandmoretea · 13/03/2025 06:57

Its probably because he’s tight as well as vegan

Has to be. The most ridiculous excuse I’ve heard.

MummaMummaMumma · 13/03/2025 07:01

He sounds great fun.
Imagine how much more fun he will be if you ever have kids together!

FortyElephants · 13/03/2025 07:00

To be fair he may not know about fosters. I didn't know about beer and wine not being suitable for vegetarians until I was very old.

However, anyone who can eat a plain tofu sandwich has an eating disorder or major food issues. I don't mean to sound facetious but that's such a disgusting flavourless 'meal' that it indicates a level of obsession about food being 'clean and pure' way above being enjoyable or satisfying. Maybe it's a form of orthorexia. It's way too much of an issue for you to deal with.

Damnloginpopup · 13/03/2025 06:58

Huckyfell · 13/03/2025 06:38

A fussy vegan, surely he can find a vegan girl to save spoiling another couple.
You'll find another better.

What if they breed more vegans though?

Teateaandmoretea · 13/03/2025 06:57

beAsensible1 · 13/03/2025 06:41

can he not go to a vegan restaurant? There are loads

Its probably because he’s tight as well as vegan

Sal17690 · 13/03/2025 06:56

You're allowed to not pursue / end a relationship for any reason you like.

this would absolutely be a non-starter for me.

Bodumb · 13/03/2025 06:55

Big cock? 😀

Bodumb · 13/03/2025 06:55

What exactly is attractive about this man?

Goodadvice1980 · 13/03/2025 06:54

YANBU OP.

Chuck this one back OP. I respect other people’s choice on food morality but his restrictions on food will be severely limiting on you as well.

Reminds me of the old joke - how can you tell if someone is a vegan? You can’t, but not to worry as they tell you every 5 minutes …….

MyDeftDuck · 13/03/2025 06:53

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere........ Well then, you know exactly what to do don't you?!

Lentilweaver · 13/03/2025 06:53

Fun sponge. Dump.
Though I suspect this is about money.

Tootiredfrthis · 13/03/2025 06:50

You'll be miserable, leave him.

DisforDarkChocolate · 13/03/2025 06:50

That level of mistrust is a red flag.

Anyotherdude · 13/03/2025 06:50

Sounds like an ED to me, and antisocial. Think very carefully about whether you care about him enough to support him through these MH issues and if you think it will get better, or worse…

Bitofanchange · 13/03/2025 06:50

cestlavielife · 12/03/2025 22:45

You will have great holidays won't you? (Not)
Move on. Bye bye

This is true, what will you do for holidays?

It’s so restrictive!

I couldn’t live like that.