Page 25 | New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

Beautifulbouquet · 2025-03-12T22:43:21+00:00

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever. He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me. I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to. His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food. I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

AngelinaFibres · 13/03/2025 07:56

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:47

I haven't even thought about holidays!! He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday. I don't think he's been on holiday for 6 years actually. He also doesn't like going to the cinema as he doesn't like sitting still for long periods.

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Oh no. Bye bye now

Pipsquiggle · 13/03/2025 07:55

@Beautifulbouquet he does sound a bit of a mood hoover on all aspects that usually enhance your life - going out, socialising and eating with friends, going on holiday etc.

I am assuming he has some redeeming features, however, I doubt they would usurp the above unless your life's goal is to become a tofu eating hermit.

Clearinguptheclutter · 13/03/2025 07:54

saraclara · 13/03/2025 07:53

While we're armchair diagnosing, I'm going to volunteer OCD. That level of control and fear of 'contamination' goes along with it.
It's a terrible condition, and if he has it, I feel for him.
But the way you want to live your life is incompatible with the way he needs to live his, so ending the relationship is entirely reasonable.

This tbh.

Clearinguptheclutter · 13/03/2025 07:54

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:49

We stayed in a hotel for a night. He brought some bread and a packet of tofu and ate that for dinner (yes a cold tofu sandwich). At breakfast he said he wasn't hungry. Only yesterday he said that actually he never eats out.

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Omg

this is definitely a dumping scenario, sorry

Londonrach1 · 13/03/2025 07:53

Comedycook · 13/03/2025 07:47

Picture the scene

You're walking arm in arm with your lover on a sunkissed beach on a beautiful greek island....when you spot a taverna overlooking the sea. The waiter shows you to your table and you gaze out at the Ionian sea....you are handed a menu and select some traditional dishes and seafood....meanwhile your lover is busy rummaging through his rucksack to find his white sliced bread and packet of tofu.

You paint a good picture there ..lol

saraclara · 13/03/2025 07:53

While we're armchair diagnosing, I'm going to volunteer OCD. That level of control and fear of 'contamination' goes along with it.
It's a terrible condition, and if he has it, I feel for him.
But the way you want to live your life is incompatible with the way he needs to live his, so ending the relationship is entirely reasonable.

Duckswaddle · 13/03/2025 07:52

Dude sounds unhinged. You know you can definitely do better. What a miserable limited life you’d have otherwise…

Londonrach1 · 13/03/2025 07:52

We don't eat out due to money...but to never go out. No bin this one...more fish in the sea....

Butchyrestingface · 13/03/2025 07:51

I couldn't be arsed with all that so another vote for DUMP. Dating is supposed to be fun, not a complete fucking minefield, esp with someone who's happy to sink all the non-vegan alcohols of the day, but won't eat vegan in a restaurant with his partner lest the chef contaminate his plate with animal fat or some such.

That said, there was a beautiful cafe near where I used to live who routinely advertised their "vegetarian option" as tuna. I tweeted them about this (I'm not even vegetarian) and they ignored and carried on. 🤷‍♀️ So I don't necessarily think his argument is ENTIRELY baseless. It's just not a position I'd be willing to accommodate.

GCAcademic · 13/03/2025 07:50

A fussy eater wouldn't get past the first date with me. I can't bloody stand them. As for not going on holiday . . . no, thanks. This person simply isn't partner material.

Dawninglory · 13/03/2025 07:48

Hi Op, it sounds to me that he has ASD. My DD has and is very similar in ways. He may be undiagnosed my DP is. And he's had food issues as a child. But as an adult doesn't go out alot, since we've had DD he no longer sees any friends. It becomes overwhelming for the me, and I feel like a carer to both.

VolcanoJapan · 13/03/2025 07:48

MiddleAgedDread · 12/03/2025 22:49

Oh gawd, nothing sucks the enjoyment out of food like a vegan!! If you enjoy food and eating out then put this one in the compost bin.

The compost bin 😂

Kitkatfiend31 · 13/03/2025 07:48

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 12/03/2025 22:46

That on its own wouldn't bother me toooo much. You can have non eating dates!

Dates yes. But long term to never eat out even for a special occasion. What about holidays? Dump him.

Comedycook · 13/03/2025 07:47

Picture the scene

You're walking arm in arm with your lover on a sunkissed beach on a beautiful greek island....when you spot a taverna overlooking the sea. The waiter shows you to your table and you gaze out at the Ionian sea....you are handed a menu and select some traditional dishes and seafood....meanwhile your lover is busy rummaging through his rucksack to find his white sliced bread and packet of tofu.

Mumrun25 · 13/03/2025 07:44

Way too high maintenance.

Sounds like he has some off the scale anxiety or he's absolutely rigid in his opinions and views - either way he will be unbearable to live with.

Avoid making your life all about his whims and....NEXT man please.

N.b don't date anyone whose whole personality is their diet. It's utterly tedious.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 13/03/2025 07:44

Agix · 13/03/2025 06:17

I have an eating disorder and cannot eat out at all. The responses in this thread are awful. It's like when you don't drink, and people try to shame you into forcing alcohol on you. The same as in... Why? Why do I have to eat somewhere else? Why does he? Why do we have to get takeaways? Whether he has an eating disorder or not... Why? Why do you have to make us?

OP can be told to break up with him without everyone being a bully about it. But people need to bully about it... why?

Just because I don't eat out doesn't mean no one else can. No one has to hang out or be with me, or OPs partner. Thankfully, my partner is very sweet and cool about it all, and never makes me eat out or get takeaways that I do not want. He can do what he likes (but he ends up eating healthier with me as a result, really).

It's so, so weird how people need to force you to eat out or get takeaways when socialising.. Like they can't socialise or have a good time without stuffing their faces, and needing everyone to join in. And being a bully if they don't / can't.

Edited

No one is forcing anyone to do anything. However OP is in charge of her own responses and can absolutely choose not to be in a relationship with this man.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 13/03/2025 07:44

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:47

I haven't even thought about holidays!! He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday. I don't think he's been on holiday for 6 years actually. He also doesn't like going to the cinema as he doesn't like sitting still for long periods.

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Not really understanding what you see in him, he sounds like a total fun sponge.

thepariscrimefiles · 13/03/2025 07:40

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:49

We stayed in a hotel for a night. He brought some bread and a packet of tofu and ate that for dinner (yes a cold tofu sandwich). At breakfast he said he wasn't hungry. Only yesterday he said that actually he never eats out.

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He sounds like a weirdo OP. Vegans can eat out and are catered for in most restaurants. He sounds paranoid and you would have a pretty joyless existence in a relationship with him.

midlifeattheoasis · 13/03/2025 07:39

Oh wow. He sounds absolutely joyless. Your life with him would also be joyless.

AgnesX · 13/03/2025 07:38

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:47

I haven't even thought about holidays!! He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday. I don't think he's been on holiday for 6 years actually. He also doesn't like going to the cinema as he doesn't like sitting still for long periods.

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He sounds utterly miserable. Cut your losses before you invest too much emotionally.

Ps miserable because it's negative all about what he won't do rather than what he will.

Cocktailsandcheese · 13/03/2025 07:37

A cold tofu sandwich?! 🤢😂Crikey. I couldn't be in a relationship where we never eat out, it my favourite thing to do!

FigTreeInEurope · 13/03/2025 07:36

Agix · 13/03/2025 06:17

I have an eating disorder and cannot eat out at all. The responses in this thread are awful. It's like when you don't drink, and people try to shame you into forcing alcohol on you. The same as in... Why? Why do I have to eat somewhere else? Why does he? Why do we have to get takeaways? Whether he has an eating disorder or not... Why? Why do you have to make us?

OP can be told to break up with him without everyone being a bully about it. But people need to bully about it... why?

Just because I don't eat out doesn't mean no one else can. No one has to hang out or be with me, or OPs partner. Thankfully, my partner is very sweet and cool about it all, and never makes me eat out or get takeaways that I do not want. He can do what he likes (but he ends up eating healthier with me as a result, really).

It's so, so weird how people need to force you to eat out or get takeaways when socialising.. Like they can't socialise or have a good time without stuffing their faces, and needing everyone to join in. And being a bully if they don't / can't.

Edited

Never ever move to Italy.

MakkaPakkasCave · 13/03/2025 07:35

Why you should dump him:

he won’t eat out
he’s vegan

Next!

piscofrisco · 13/03/2025 07:35

I mean what a mean and miserable life you would have if you could never go out, ever, for dinner or lunch.

Bestfootforward11 · 13/03/2025 07:35

Each to their own but I think I’d find that really difficult. Seems like he is perhaps expecting you to adapt to him completely rather than any option of compromise. He is entitled to do things his way but you are also entitled to choose what you want in a partner.