New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

Good for you OP. The story of this relationship will (rather ironically) be one that you dine out on for a long time.

The racist sauce segregation has blown my mind!

@Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou

what about holidays though??

Mate, I really hope this fun-sponge is a seriously good shag because I honestly can’t see what you see in him. Every update makes him sound weirder, and frankly too much like hard work. I’d watch a documentary on him, I wouldn’t date him.

I'm not a vegan. I'm not even a vegetarian. But I still miss a vegan restaurant about half an hour on the train from where I live, which closed down a few years ago. They made the most gorgeous food; not only were they entirely vegan, they excluded gluten and nuts (and no, I have no idea how they did it.) Everything I had there was delicious and completely overturned assertions about veganism being boring.

I think that this is a lot more than him being a vegan.

I am a vegetarian and have vegan friends. They are happy to eat at restaurants that advertise vegan options. Most eateries do at least one vegan option (even Wetherspoons ! )

Maybe he has underlying "germphobia" or paranoia and is frightened someone is trying to poison him?

I can't see this working out well for you OP.

Sorry x

OK, so you can never eat out, never have a takeaway, events with friends or family would be difficult, could only go self-catering on holiday, but not a beach of course. Can't go to the cinema or theatre. He'll only wear the same black clothes over and over. He thinks you're racist. His own kitchen is filthy and unhygienic.

Honestly, every update makes him sound worse. Get rid now as there's nothing about him that would make him good relationship material.

His veganism will never go away and dominate his life, thats fine and OK but it will also dominate your life as well (possibly for the rest of your life) ..not a nice prospect I would suggest

He sounds very uncompromising. It is one thing to prefere to eat at home and I'm sure vegan optios are crap in a lot of restaursnts. But he's very my way or highway kinda guy. Slo he likes beer so doesn't care if it is vegan. If it something you want the contamination matters. I could not date anyone who brings their own dinner when on holiday, won't go to cinema, won't eat at a restaurant

Is he a good cook? Or is it dry cold tofu sandwiches cooking?
I have a vegan friend who does eat in restaurants but it is not his preference since vegan options are not always great. But he is an amazing cook and makes incredible looking meals with tons of variety. He also goes to forest to mushroom/wild herb hunting. So yeah, I can kinda get it that he prefers to host over going to a restaursnt to have a mediocre frozen vegan burger.

I'm really struggling to work out his good points here. Does he have any?

@Quinlan yes I agree. Sorry, should have read the OP’s last comment about her racist food cupboard. I myself would have a racist spice/herb rack according to this guy! Madness!

And extremely boring. Fun sponge.

You enjoy eating out and want a companion to lunch/dine out with. He is determinedly against eating out, whatever the occasion and by the sounds of it that includes wedding receptions, lunch with your parents etc. It's a basic and pretty wide-ranging incompatibility, which as others have said, will probably get more onerous, rather than less with time. What, one has to ask, will happen if he has to be hospitalised? Will you have to rush to his bedside every day with cold tofu sandwiches?

When I met my DH forty-odd years ago, we were both vegetarians. I fell off the wagon into a plate of fish and chips eleven years later, (he continued to be veggie) and throughout, we've continued to enjoy foodie pursuits, food festivals, eating out, browsing delis, looking at online menus etc. The issue isn't dietary preferences, it's how much you're prepared to compromise and your chap just isn't. And that's not even taking into account the state of his kitchen, his clothes and the other issues you've raised here.

Racism for organising your cupboards- now I’ve heard it all! A pp was quite right was it it with the men and crazy food threads at mo! What’s wrong with them. The fosters is quite something- he’s so pedantic but hasn’t checked this! And to be frank the dirty kitchen was the nail in the coffin for me, and the not changing his clothes. Bin!

Beginning to wonder if this is a windup

So bizarre I can't figure it out!
@Beautifulbouquet before you dump his sorry ass, can you please find out (purely for MN benefit)...

1. why drinking Fosters is OK for a vegan? (If he was actually as strict as he says, he'd know not to drink Fosters)
2. please ask him to explain his racism comment 🙄

If this is for real he needs throwing in the bin.

To make my own post clearer, I was referring to people with psychological eating disorders,including fussy eaters,not those with genuine medical problems such as coeliac disease 😊

But, it sounds like he must have a lot of other qualities you love and his reasoning is well.. he could die so of course that’s a concession you make!
This guy says it’s because he is vegan, but he drinks a ton of non-vegan beer and wine. And OP has started listing all the other things she doesn’t like about him and they’re all the same theme; he is very rigid and restrictive and won’t compromise. It’s his way or nothing. Does that sound like your partner?

I retract my last comment! Have just read about your “racist” food cupboards. WTAF? 😂

My fella has an insane list of food intolerances, and some potentially fatal allergies. The list of things he can eat has gradually dwindled over the years. If he deviates from this, the consequences can range between chronic eczema to anaphylactic shock. We never eat out, and it’s just something I’ve had to accept. It wouldn’t stop me wanting to be with him though… I just go off and eat out with my friends instead. There can be far worse things in a relationship than not being able to eat out!

Then all of the supermarkets are racist too—the international aisle has different sections for different cuisines.

@Beautifulbouquet stop dithering and dump this doolally dickhead

This!!!