New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

Cold tofu sandwich, 1 potato and 6 tomatoes, racist kitchen cupboards. There are some funny fish out there folks, this one can go back in the sea OP.

Please tell him Fosters is not vegan, MN needs to know what he says!

Honestly, I'd say this but I've met people with some really unusual quirks over the years - quite often they have family members who are the same or have left them to it so they don't ever get anyone going 'hey, let's sit down and talk about why you feel you need to do that, as you seem to worry about it and it might help talking it over'. Often it's assumptions they have made or a 'fact' they are making decisions based on where they have missed the wider context. You don't know what you don't know!

Yep, I’d say that was another sign of autism. His home is his safe space, where he can eat how he likes and where he keeps the stuff that has value to him - and is nervous of anyone violating that space. I am guessing he’s not been diagnosed, as you’ve not mentioned it, but it is helpful to regard him through that lens. If you got pleasure and were compatible on other levels, it’s useful to understand this so that you can manage your relationship and work together to navigate this - but from what you’ve said here you really don’t have the ‘feels’ for him that warrant it.

I’d caution posters from mocking him, though. It’s the way he is and with the right person it would be no issue for them. He just isn’t right for you. There’s no shame in not liking someone or finding their rigid habits/preferences irritating… but I would just end it as compassionately and sensitively as you can. It’s enough to say that you are more extrovert, want to socialise and eat out with a partner, and that you aren’t a great fit.

No this cannot be true! You have jumped the shark.

Your kitchen is racist.....
Don't split your laundry into whites and colours in front of him then OP

No I want an answer to why he doesn’t open the blinds? Sunlight is lovely! He sounds plain odd, which there’s nothing wrong with, but being inflexible to spoils your fun there is something with! And btw my spice rack is alphabetical- what does that make me!

Don't keep him.

Yeah, that's the thing - I have quite a few anxieties and worries in my life, but I can let my hair down and enjoy myself, and a good meal out is one of life's finer pleasures. This guy sounds like a grade A fun sponge that sucks all the pleasure out of everything. I'm sure there's someone equally miserable out there for him - they're welcome to each other.

He does sound a bit controlling, and seems not to take into consideration how his quirks might dull your day. I have been with guys like this- briefly, though, because my joyometer couldn't stand being so repressed for too long.

OH haha ha 😂

Fosters and CruzCampo are not vegan
Perroni - possibly not vegan (not certified at least)

This is a man who doesn’t appear to enjoy any of the pleasures in life (I don’t mean because he doesn’t eat meat) but everything seems just so dull and plain.

Does he have a good laugh about things or is he very serious?

Going to put my head above the parapet here and say that I think, sadly, you are dealing with a person on the autism spectrum. My entire extended family is, and although we are completely different in the way each of us presents, the rigidness with what/where he will eat, only wearing black etc all resonate.

Obviously most of us have partners, are married etc, but it took special people to look past our individual idiosyncrasies and/or at least ones with similarly aligned foibles of their own. As lovely as this guy may have been on many levels, I think that if you are finding it stressful to navigate a relationship with him, then it’s best to let him go. There will be another person out there who is into home cooking/veganism and staying in. She just isn’t you.

And you will find someone who will be game for an impromptu bar meal and pub quiz. If it is this much hard work now, it will only get harder so best to break up before one/both of you become more attached.

I do think it is hard for vegans to eat out because even though more places have vegan options they are often limited and it would piss me off to pay for the same 3 options all the time. However a blanket never ever eating out ever would be a no from me - I could live with preferring to take his own but never is completely inflexible and selfish.
Also the contamination part suggests he has bigger issues

Get rid.

How fucking dull he must be if he's one of those vegans

this sounds a lot like my son who has severe OCD. .he isn't quite so obsessive about food, his thing is hygiene, but food is still an issue, in fact life is an issue. he is ridiculously rigid, controlling and rather joyless. It's a sad little life imo. Unless you are head over heels in love, I would throw this one back otherwise you will have a lifetime of issues.

He sounds like an absolute joy!

Good lord, this took a turn 😅

He sounded odd from the outset but just became weirder and weirder in the space of minutes 🤣🤣

Obviously, you've already concluded that you're out of this relationship (thankfully!) but my advice would be to run as fast as you can!

I had a fussy eater BF, my first one, at the grand old age of 19. After one too many crumpets with cheese, I realised that a fussy eater was not for me!

Enjoy your scone, pile on some clotted cream. Yum.

@Beautifulbouquet

is he good looking OP? I find it hard to imagine he is as his diet of tofu sandwiches and fosters isn’t conducive to a buff physique

Plenty of vegans eat in restaurants. This to me points towards much bigger control issues 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Dump immediately, it will only get worse

Joyless and somewhat controlling. To care about a partner and not even make an effort. WTF!

It's going nowhere so might as well get rid now.

I can actually see where the boyfriend is coming from. My husband had awful food poisoning not once but twice from eating out. Once, he passed out going home and woke up in hospital. The other time he was working abroad and dined out. He was in a dreadful state when he came home.

He rarely eats out now. He is worried that something similar might happen again and he says that nothing compares to the food he gets at home. 😂
When he does take me out for special occasions he only eats fish and chips (we live near the coast and the fish is gorgeous) he reckons if it has been deep fried it will have killed anything nasty and he is safe.