Page 16 | New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

Beautifulbouquet · 2025-03-12T22:43:21+00:00

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever. He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me. I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to. His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food. I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

AnnListersBlister · 13/03/2025 13:52

RussetLeaf · 13/03/2025 05:16

For some balance, can we hear what his qualities are? Is he hot, talented, a good conversationalist, funny, interesting… anything?

So far I’ve read he never eats out, only wears black, has a filthy kitchen, once brought you a potato and 6 tomatoes, can’t sit through a film, doesn’t go on holiday and basically sucks the joy out of every situation. Why have you been seeing this cold-tofu-sandwich of a man in the first place?

'Cold tofu sandwich of a man' is my new favourite insult.
It used to be 'One layered lasagne'🤣

Ionut · 13/03/2025 13:52

enkelt2 · 13/03/2025 13:49

I understand how this can be a dealbreaker, but I hate to see so many comments making fun of him. Eating is a very personal thing, at least he compliments OP's cooking and otherwise seems OK!

Many of us are just too used to the hedonism of dining out and holidays (and dining out). But people can find joy in different things. He's not wrong in wanting to control what he puts into his mouth--not 'fun' to be around, maybe, but nothing that deserves so much ridicule.

Edited

It's not just what he chooses to eat, it's him blanket refusing to do anything that interests the OP, calling her racist because of the way she organises ingredients, he's antifa, a fake annoying vegan, doesn't shower enough and doesn't sound like he's any fun tbh.

Ionut · 13/03/2025 13:49

Nonrienderien · 13/03/2025 13:48

What a pathetic suggestion.

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What is a pathetic suggestion? Having a FWB?

Why is it pathetic?

enkelt2 · 13/03/2025 13:49

I understand how this can be a dealbreaker, but I hate to see so many comments making fun of him. Eating is a very personal thing, at least he compliments OP's cooking and otherwise seems OK!

Many of us are just too used to the hedonism of dining out and holidays (and dining out). But people can find joy in different things. He's not wrong in wanting to control what he puts into his mouth--not 'fun' to be around, maybe, but nothing that deserves so much ridicule.

Nonrienderien · 13/03/2025 13:48

Beautifulbouquet · 13/03/2025 13:38

This might be an option. He gives me a lot of support and encouragement on my businesses and job. But one on one time I think no.

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What a pathetic suggestion.

Ionut · 13/03/2025 13:47

rubberduck68 · 13/03/2025 13:23

I say this as someone who has vegan family members; vegans who date vegans do have an easier time of it. It sounds like he's a purist, and that is going to be tricky if you're not on board. I'd throw this one back and find someone who will be a bit more laid back food wise. I mean, you'd expect some give and taken, wouldn't you; a kind of "Hey I'm vegan, but happy to try and accommodate us both if we can." What else will he be rigid and dictating about any time soon?

He's not a purist, though, is he? He's just a boring person who eats plain tofu between bread, and doesn't bother showering.

Ionut · 13/03/2025 13:46

Beautifulbouquet · 13/03/2025 13:42

Oh God we'd be trawling the streets of Marrakech hunting for tofu to munch in our hotel room which has the curtains shut wouldn't we

Also I'm remembering that when we went to the hotel he didn't shower.

It was a one night stay. I showered evening before we went out then in the morning.

He didn't shower. I didn't ask why not (we didn't have sex in part because the tofu sandwich really put off any sexy thoughts I had). But I'm wondering if he thought the hotel water might also be contaminating.

If he has these fears if course that's sad and difficult. But I don't want to spend my life at home.

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Ugh he gets worse the stinky bastard ... Hopefully by now you've sent the "it's not going to work between us, thanks, bye. " Message!

Original poster

Beautifulbouquet · 13/03/2025 13:42

Mummywantstobemadeover · 13/03/2025 13:38

This would massively matter to me. Eating out, especially on holiday is a really lovely thing that DH and I do together. When we plan our city breaks we like to pick out places to try the local cuisine etc. So what do you do when you go away? Sit in the hotel room and have crisps?

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Oh God we'd be trawling the streets of Marrakech hunting for tofu to munch in our hotel room which has the curtains shut wouldn't we

Also I'm remembering that when we went to the hotel he didn't shower.

It was a one night stay. I showered evening before we went out then in the morning.

He didn't shower. I didn't ask why not (we didn't have sex in part because the tofu sandwich really put off any sexy thoughts I had). But I'm wondering if he thought the hotel water might also be contaminating.

If he has these fears if course that's sad and difficult. But I don't want to spend my life at home.

OP posts:

Mummywantstobemadeover · 13/03/2025 13:38

Nextdoor55 · 13/03/2025 09:28

Does dining out matter that much though? My DH of 25 years doesn't dine out either, he hates the idea that other people can hear our conversation & we can hear other people. I mean I get that, if you're a private person.
It wouldn't bother me if I were in your shoes. He sounds more interesting than the average guy I'd probably respect him for going against the norm!

This would massively matter to me. Eating out, especially on holiday is a really lovely thing that DH and I do together. When we plan our city breaks we like to pick out places to try the local cuisine etc. So what do you do when you go away? Sit in the hotel room and have crisps?

Original poster

Beautifulbouquet · 13/03/2025 13:38

Mydahliasareshit · 13/03/2025 13:31

Downgrade to friends. With benefits occasionally if you absolutely must.

This might be an option. He gives me a lot of support and encouragement on my businesses and job. But one on one time I think no.

OP posts:

Original poster

Beautifulbouquet · 13/03/2025 13:34

sandyhappypeople · 13/03/2025 12:54

if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday.

He also doesn't have a car so going anywhere eh day trips is difficult.

He wears the same clothes constantly

He also refuses to wear anything that isn't black. Because his favourite colour is black.

It's quarter to 11 and he's not said good morning.

He won't open the blinds as he says people will see his stuff and then steal it.

I'm sorry to tell you OP, but he's quite obviously a vampire.

😂😂

I love you all for making me laugh about this.

He seriously does have quite pointy teeth.

And is European not British. Though not from Transylvania!

OP posts:

Mydahliasareshit · 13/03/2025 13:31

Downgrade to friends. With benefits occasionally if you absolutely must.

NaomhPadraigin · 13/03/2025 13:28

rubberduck68 · 13/03/2025 13:23

I say this as someone who has vegan family members; vegans who date vegans do have an easier time of it. It sounds like he's a purist, and that is going to be tricky if you're not on board. I'd throw this one back and find someone who will be a bit more laid back food wise. I mean, you'd expect some give and taken, wouldn't you; a kind of "Hey I'm vegan, but happy to try and accommodate us both if we can." What else will he be rigid and dictating about any time soon?

A purist who drinks non-vegan beer? 🤔
He's already rigid about lots of other things!

I think OP is happy enough to let this one go.

rubberduck68 · 13/03/2025 13:23

I say this as someone who has vegan family members; vegans who date vegans do have an easier time of it. It sounds like he's a purist, and that is going to be tricky if you're not on board. I'd throw this one back and find someone who will be a bit more laid back food wise. I mean, you'd expect some give and taken, wouldn't you; a kind of "Hey I'm vegan, but happy to try and accommodate us both if we can." What else will he be rigid and dictating about any time soon?

happystrummer · 13/03/2025 13:22

Cruzcampo isnt vegan either:)

Hoppinggreen · 13/03/2025 13:20

sandyhappypeople · 13/03/2025 12:54

if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

He did say once that he would never go on a beach holiday.

He also doesn't have a car so going anywhere eh day trips is difficult.

He wears the same clothes constantly

He also refuses to wear anything that isn't black. Because his favourite colour is black.

It's quarter to 11 and he's not said good morning.

He won't open the blinds as he says people will see his stuff and then steal it.

I'm sorry to tell you OP, but he's quite obviously a vampire.

But one of those weird Nosfertau types rather than the sexy Underworld ones

Hoppinggreen · 13/03/2025 13:18

RampantIvy · 13/03/2025 12:51

I made this last night:

https://www.lazycatkitchen.com/shredded-tofu-tacos/

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That looks lovely and is the kind of thing I make with Tofu but it sounds like this weirdo just stuck tofu between 2 slices of bread

CrushingOnRubies · 13/03/2025 13:18

Cold tofu sandwich 🤢 I've got the ick on your behalf op. Dump him

You do realise when he say either you or me can cook instead he means you forever or at least 90% of the time ? Even when you've planned to go out to eat with friends he'll still expect anyone cooked meal from you as well. So that yay I don't have to cook tonight feeling will be you

TR888 · 13/03/2025 13:14

Also, a potato q six tomatoes don't make a balanced, healthy meal and neither does a tofu sandwich.

He's tight. Bin.

Charlottejbt · 13/03/2025 13:14

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 12/03/2025 22:46

That on its own wouldn't bother me toooo much. You can have non eating dates!

I agree, but at the same time, if he's so weird and uptight about this, what else is he weird and uptight about?

It's not like a nut allergy where cross-contaminated food could kill. It's probably just an outlet for out of control anxiety, which could erupt anywhere. OP would be forever walking on eggshells, or whatever the vegab equivalent is!

TR888 · 13/03/2025 13:11

(is he any good at sex?)

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 13/03/2025 13:11

I just popped on to say I’m disgusted by your racist spice cupboard, OP. I hope you can live with yourself and your pantry apartheid set up.

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 13/03/2025 13:08

Book a table for two at your local vegan restaurant

Hattie907 · 13/03/2025 13:05

Beautifulbouquet · 13/03/2025 12:52

Ok. But he literally got two slices of brown bed and crumbled some tofu from the packet onto one slice using his fingers then ate the sandwich.

Then offered to make me one.

Which is different x

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Op, I thought I was over my morning sickness now I’m a few weeks away from delivery but tell him he’s brought it back with his tofu sandwich. 🤢 The thought of the texture of cold or room temp tofu sandwiched between what I imagine to be cheap brown bread, and how bland tofu is without being fried in any spices etc, is actually making me gag. 🙈

JFDIYOLO · 13/03/2025 13:05

Sits in the dark and is afraid of sunlight.

Always wears black.

Terrified of food being contaminated by animal products.

When he first came round did he stand on the doorstep and wait to be formally invited in?

Because I think what you have here is a reformed vampire who is trying not to fall off the wagon.

One sniff of a bacon sarnie and that's it - fangs at midnight.