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Original poster

New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

917 replies

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:43

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

OP posts:
dovetail22uk · 13/03/2025 15:18

Nchanged89 · 13/03/2025 11:46

Oh come on OP.

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Being in Antifa is a GOOD thing! It literally means "anti-fascist".

Miaowzabella · 13/03/2025 15:14

Oh dear. Is there any pleasant, normal, sociable, life-enhancing activity that your boyfriend actually enjoys?

Lottie6712 · 13/03/2025 15:12

Oooh, it'd be an absolute no for me.

AnnListersBlister · 13/03/2025 15:10

queensgambits · 13/03/2025 10:04

I think that this is a lot more than him being a vegan.

I am a vegetarian and have vegan friends. They are happy to eat at restaurants that advertise vegan options. Most eateries do at least one vegan option (even Wetherspoons ! )

Maybe he has underlying "germphobia" or paranoia and is frightened someone is trying to poison him?

I can't see this working out well for you OP.

Sorry x

Wetherspoons are fantastic for vegans IME. Lots of options and has been since long before veganism was a popular belief.

I love casual dining and would love to support more independent places rather than the likes of spoons and chains but they're unfortunately yet to catch up.

The germophobic thing can also be an autism trait-if this dude doesn't have ASD I'll show my as$ in Harrod's window. Not saying anything BAD about those with ASD of course! But the rigidity and same clothes etc.. just screams it.

TheLette · 13/03/2025 15:03

Sounds like a bore (not because he is vegan but because he won't eat out). Has he even ruled out vegan restaurants?

AnnListersBlister · 13/03/2025 15:00

Quinlan · 13/03/2025 09:00

Sorry, whats the relevance of this guy’s brother being gay? You’re talking about aspects of these men which you didn’t like (the fussy eating) so why comment about his brother’s sexuality as if it is also an insult? It’s kind of shown you in a pretty bad light actually.

As for the guy you’re currently dating; he just sounds like a total drip. End if, find someone else. There are lots of men.

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It read to me as if she'd just began stating he was gay with a view to saying 'And me and him would text....' to avoid being confusing, and then changed her paragraph, rather than judging someone for being gay.

AnnListersBlister · 13/03/2025 14:48

Deetroit · 13/03/2025 08:28

What a friend said to me, when I was at university and dating a vegan with a long fingernail and a squeaky voice, and bad trousers, though he was really very gorgeous:

“Is he any good in bed?”. The answer was no. She said that was the answer. So there you have it. Apply that final question to six tomato man.

To be fair,I've dated only one Foster's drinker and she was an absolute cunt so I can apply this to them too. But I am fantastic in bed, thank you very much. 😂

AnnListersBlister · 13/03/2025 14:38

Huckyfell · 13/03/2025 06:38

A fussy vegan, surely he can find a vegan girl to save spoiling another couple.
You'll find another better.

Can you all stop saying this?!

I'm a lesbian but on behalf of my lovely, fun-having non-fosters-drinking happy-to-eat-out-clean-kitchen-having non-cold-tofu-sandwich-eating vegan friends, we don't want him! Grin

friendlycat · 13/03/2025 14:38

He sounds odd. Don't date odd. You can do much better than odd.

AnnListersBlister · 13/03/2025 14:36

Does anyone remember an article in 'Woman's Own' from the 90s, about a guy who'd collect and store his own bellybutton fluff?

I can picture his skinny, pale frame with huge rimmed glasses.

For some reason, until the knowledge about OPs boyfriend came into my life, I'd forgotten all about him.

BigDeepBreaths · 13/03/2025 14:30

He will suck the joy out of your life. Not because he is vegan. Because is a sucker-of-joy.

RUN!!

ItGhoul · 13/03/2025 14:23

Beautifulbouquet · 13/03/2025 13:52

@Ionut I'm waiting for him to get in touch whilst hoping he won't

I have got stuff at his I need (within the next few days)

I'm worried if I say it's the eating out thing he'll say we can go out (then probably it will never happen or he'll go and not order anything)

I'm doing that cowardly thing where you hope they kind of figure out you're losing interest

Who knows...maybe he was going off me and he said he'd never eat a meal out as he knew it would put me off

Maybe he's been trying to get rid of me all this time

Imagining him texting his mate (FFS I even crumbled raw tofu onto cold bread just before we were going to have sex and she still won't fucking break up with me!!!)

I'm worried if I say it's the eating out thing he'll say we can go out (then probably it will never happen or he'll go and not order anything)

You don’t have to give him any reason other than that the relationship isn’t working for you.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 13/03/2025 14:21

Oh OP this isn’t sustainable long term. This will only be the tip of the iceberg, and it will only be a matter of time before the hints at you becoming vegan will begin to creep in. If it goes the distance and you marry, imagine the mealtime hassles and the effect on any children. Being vegan is a lifestyle choice, but it shouldn’t limit his life like this - it’s bordering on paranoia.

Starlight1984 · 13/03/2025 14:21

Hattie907 · 13/03/2025 00:10

Yeah, Fosters and a tofu sandwich… 🤔

OP, I couldn’t have sex with him after the tofu sandwich. That would have been it. 😆

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😂So true. I cannot think of anything less sexy than a man eating a tofu sandwich.

ItGhoul · 13/03/2025 14:21

Pensionableperil · 13/03/2025 14:15

Verrrrrry rigid thinking. Plus the not wearing different clothes and the possible sensory overload of different foods or a shower? Screams neurodivergence.

So what, though? A diagnosis of autism isn’t going to make his behaviour any less annoying. A life of never being able to eat in restaurants with your boyfriend is joyless whether he’s autistic or not.

Pensionableperil · 13/03/2025 14:15

Verrrrrry rigid thinking. Plus the not wearing different clothes and the possible sensory overload of different foods or a shower? Screams neurodivergence.

Ionut · 13/03/2025 14:10

enkelt2 · 13/03/2025 13:56

Yea, I didn't see the Antifa and racist bits... So he and OP are incompatible. Being an imperfect vegan doesn't make him a bad person, though.

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It does when you're on your high horse about "contamination" when you are drinking non-vegan beer that would take 10 seconds of googling to find out if it was vegan or nor.

Ionut · 13/03/2025 14:09

Beautifulbouquet · 13/03/2025 13:52

@Ionut I'm waiting for him to get in touch whilst hoping he won't

I have got stuff at his I need (within the next few days)

I'm worried if I say it's the eating out thing he'll say we can go out (then probably it will never happen or he'll go and not order anything)

I'm doing that cowardly thing where you hope they kind of figure out you're losing interest

Who knows...maybe he was going off me and he said he'd never eat a meal out as he knew it would put me off

Maybe he's been trying to get rid of me all this time

Imagining him texting his mate (FFS I even crumbled raw tofu onto cold bread just before we were going to have sex and she still won't fucking break up with me!!!)

Don't be wet woman.
Just send the message and block his number and be done with it.

Horses7 · 13/03/2025 14:02

Love the thought that he’s really a normal guy but is acting odd so you’ll dump him, because he’s just too lovely and thoughtful to dump you!

ManchesterLu · 13/03/2025 14:01

He won't dine out, you love dining out. Whatever the reasons for either, it's a simple case of incompatibility unfortunately. No point carrying on with this.

Nothatgingerpirate · 13/03/2025 13:58

Eh, he's got a lot of issues.
Why saddle yourself with them?

enkelt2 · 13/03/2025 13:56

Ionut · 13/03/2025 13:52

It's not just what he chooses to eat, it's him blanket refusing to do anything that interests the OP, calling her racist because of the way she organises ingredients, he's antifa, a fake annoying vegan, doesn't shower enough and doesn't sound like he's any fun tbh.

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Yea, I didn't see the Antifa and racist bits... So he and OP are incompatible. Being an imperfect vegan doesn't make him a bad person, though.

PsychoHotSauce · 13/03/2025 13:54

Imagining him texting his mate (FFS I even crumbled raw tofu onto cold bread just before we were going to have sex and she still won't fucking break up with me!!!)

Sorry but Grin

outerspacepotato · 13/03/2025 13:54

"he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food."

He sounds paranoid.

Is he cheap too?

His kitchen is dirty and unhygienic?

Oh, fucking run like the wind. Ewwwwwwww.

Original poster
Beautifulbouquet · 13/03/2025 13:52

@Ionut I'm waiting for him to get in touch whilst hoping he won't

I have got stuff at his I need (within the next few days)

I'm worried if I say it's the eating out thing he'll say we can go out (then probably it will never happen or he'll go and not order anything)

I'm doing that cowardly thing where you hope they kind of figure out you're losing interest

Who knows...maybe he was going off me and he said he'd never eat a meal out as he knew it would put me off

Maybe he's been trying to get rid of me all this time

Imagining him texting his mate (FFS I even crumbled raw tofu onto cold bread just before we were going to have sex and she still won't fucking break up with me!!!)

OP posts: