New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

Go on then, tell us why you think Antifa are bad?

Oh come on... Don't you read beyond the dictionary definition...?

All my cast iron cook ware is black 😳

Why wish for things to fizzle out, OP? Why not just take control and leave him?

You are quite clearly not attracted to his personality, and I don't blame you!

That was for some general tofu inspiration. I'm not even vegetarian let alone vegan. I just like all types of food. What did you do about food while he was eating his?

Your soon to be ex would find my kitchen very racist. My most used pan is a wok

Eating deicious food is important to me so the relationship wouldn't even have got this far for me.

My ASD ex was like this. Wouldn't eat anything I'd cooked because my food hygeine (perfectly fine, by the way) wasn't up to her standards. Ditto anything my Mum cooked-she'd offer to do the cooking under the guise of being nice but although it was appreciated, it wasn't for that reason. It was because she'd not eat anything others had made.

But! She'd happily order from the dodgiest 1star takeaway in town and get a greasy pizza. Not a problem. I did educate her on how rice was cooked and how supermarket goods are stored etc etc-again no problem, would eat at the local greasy spoon, anything. But home cooked-nope.

OP answered at 10.46 this morning to say he's affectionate and generous.

I genuinely want to know this too!

Well yeah I thought so. He hasn't been an active protester for 7 years but yes he used to organise and attend protests against fascism, repressive laws, racism etc

He's committed to his causes and I admire that.

It's when it spills over into calling my cupboards racist (which he's done at least 10 times) or not wanting to do anything ever (I even suggested a litter pick one day...it was a sunny day...beautiful country lanes...and free...but he didn't want to) that it just feels like an excuse to not participate in the relationship fully.

He's texted in the last half hour all cheery and asking how I'm doing.

I've replied cheery enough. I just want it to fizzle out really. I do not want another intense discussion.

(is he any good at sex?)

That was for some general tofu inspiration. I'm not even vegetarian let alone vegan. I just like all types of food. What did you do about food while he was eating his?

Your soon to be ex would find my kitchen very racist. My most used pan is a wok

Eating deicious food is important to me so the relationship wouldn't even have got this far for me.

He might be vegan but the over-arching reason here seems to be a form of extreme anxiety and control issues over food. I know someone who won't eat anywhere but her own home and all food has to be cooked by her. It's irrational of course, because she'll open a tin or packet and she has no idea what went on in that factory where it was processed. She will go to parties and barbecues and weddings because can get around eating in front of other people by pushing a bit of buffet food around a plate and then just ditching it, but she would have a meltdown at being invited for dinner because she'd find it hard to disguise the fact that she's not eating the food you cooked and put in front of her.

If he wasn't a vegan he'd probably be exactly the same, he just wouldn't be able to make it about his veganism and his distrust that someone won't accidentally or deliberately adulterate his food with animal products.

Well yeah I thought so. He hasn't been an active protester for 7 years but yes he used to organise and attend protests against fascism, repressive laws, racism etc

He's committed to his causes and I admire that.

It's when it spills over into calling my cupboards racist (which he's done at least 10 times) or not wanting to do anything ever (I even suggested a litter pick one day...it was a sunny day...beautiful country lanes...and free...but he didn't want to) that it just feels like an excuse to not participate in the relationship fully.

He's texted in the last half hour all cheery and asking how I'm doing.

I've replied cheery enough. I just want it to fizzle out really. I do not want another intense discussion.

I wonder if many vegans worry about the 'meat' that they unknowingly consume? A small amount of some contaminants (insects etc) are permitted in, for instance, flour. Then there are the tiny aphids you occasionally unknowingly eat on salads and vegetables. These can't be avoided. It's fine to be vegan and a great thing for the environment, but people have to be realistic about it. Refusing to eat out ever is taking things too far.

Going to put my head above the parapet here and say that I think, sadly, you are dealing with a person on the autism spectrum. My entire extended family is, and although we are completely different in the way each of us presents, the rigidness with what/where he will eat, only wearing black etc all resonate.

Obviously most of us have partners, are married etc, but it took special people to look past our individual idiosyncrasies and/or at least ones with similarly aligned foibles of their own. As lovely as this guy may have been on many levels, I think that if you are finding it stressful to navigate a relationship with him, then it’s best to let him go. There will be another person out there who is into home cooking/veganism and staying in. She just isn’t you.

And you will find someone who will be game for an impromptu bar meal and pub quiz. If it is this much hard work now, it will only get harder so best to break up before one/both of you become more attached.

Drinking beer?

Being in Antifa is a GOOD thing! It literally means "anti-fascist".