New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

I find that quite interesting-were there isinglass 'remnents' left over in the equipment?

Fosters isn’t vegan as I used to work where it was made and we’d schedule production of it after the vegan products because it would require a deep clean otherwise

I know folk say 'I am scarred for life' in a sarcastic/humourous way but I am changed due to that relationship and I don't think it is reversible-in a way I am glad, because I can now spot the signs like a siren going off.

The rigidity can be so tiring, lots of 'We can't do this/that because of X not liking it' and the lack of flexibility, lack of respect and consideration becomes wearing very quickly.As does having to explain to other people why X never did (whatever thing).

I am very much a pleaser naturally. I wanted to make her happy but due to lack of attachment/feel for other's emotions this wasn't possible for me to do, and she couldn't compromise for me as any slight alteration to what she wanted was too much for her. For the last year or so I felt like nothing-e.g she'd never see me on a certain day no matter what-even if I was ill, it was my birthday, a big event was happening-because that's the day she did X (a totally nondescript activity that could be done any day).

I am not saying this will happen if you see this man again of course, none of us know that.
I just would like anyone with someone slightly similar to be careful.

My friend very kindly offered to treat me to lunch at a vegan restaurant once-I looked at the menu and said 'No thank you!' it was very generic-I am a rare one as I do like vegan cheese substitutes but it seemed that it was mostly cheesy pasta dishes which I didn't like the sound of and I didn't think would give him a good impression of vegan food either!

We went to a 'normal' restaurant where the food was fab for both of us.

Greens in Manchester (vegetarian)-Just not very good? Fine, but not good. And if I am paying restaurant prices I don't want to sit on plastic 'cheap beer garden' chairs.

Corarima in Wakefield however (more 'accidentally vegan'-Excellent!

YANBU. I don't think I'd be able to be in a relationship like this either. Fwiw, I used to dump via text (in a short relationship) and suggest phonecall to discuss so they could get their thoughts straight and have the initial anger/upset reaction in private. It always worked out OK.

There is a world of difference between selfishness (deliberate and not caring) and self centredness (unable rather than unwilling to make even minor changes). The result is similar, but on closer examination the subtleties are fairly obvious. The bottom line though is whether an individual is able to cope with such behaviour. OP clearly cannot, and that is absolutely fine. However, be aware that the boyfriend may not "take the hint" about a gentle breakup and might need to hear it in very direct language. These are circumstances where "it's not you, it's me" language might be more appropriate to get the message across - for instance, I need to spend time cycling in the sunshine every day etc.

You seem to have done a tremendous amount with this man in the space of only a month. You’ve been away for the night, left stuff at his place and he’s told you many times that he loves you? I think I’d take it a bit easier next time, op, and actually get to know someone before going all in. It all seems a bit juvenile and didn’t require this amount of navel gazing when deciding whether or not to continue.

A month?! I take back my other post now, OP. A month is hardly enough time to even know someone - and he's told you multiple times he loves you? This alone is a massive red flag and I really wouldn't want to be breaking up with him face to face. You barely know the bloke and he's bombarded you with all of this!

After a month of dating I'd be well pissed off if I took the time to meet someone and then they told me they were ending it. Just give me a call and save me the bother of wasting an evening and travel 😂

I have wondered if he is autistic and has OCD. Certainly fits from what you’ve said

You’ve been dating a month and he’s told you many times that he loves you?

Get rid, he's already laid his "me me me me" cards on the table.

he is been very honest,but don't see him compromising for you both to work as a couple..he should challenge himself more.He is dictating what's going to happen and not happen.i personally would not be happy with this,enjoying a meal out,a night away,a hoilday keeps the spark in my relationship.im sure ye could find alternatives but he sounds like he needs to make more of an effort.

It doesn’t matter why he is so unpleasant he is unpleasant. Why would anyone want to have a relationship with someone who is so selfish?

I'm glad that my ASD radar is not the only one pinging here.

My friend had a man like that - turned out to be married - didn't want to be seen out with another woman

This made me chuckle. Dump him! I love eating out, going to the cinema and going on holiday to me is partly about eating different foods. Could not live with someone like that. Fussy eating in grown adults is a huge turn off for me. To be fair it drives me mad in kids as well (and I don’t mean those with allergies/arfid/ND - just regular fussiness).

But why should it all be about what HE likes and doesn't like? A good relationship ought to take BOTH participants preferences into account. It sounds like he's doing the 'this is me, you can do your own thing if you want but I won't be joining in because...(some arbitrary rule that he's made up)'.

There's no fun in a relationship like that, no matter how nice they are. Because as they get older and more settled their world becomes smaller and smaller until you can't go outside 'because it's not Saturday!'

Why would you bother with someone who is just so unpleasant? A relationship should be two equal partners. you are allowing him to to be the boss of you that’s ridiculous.
Being kind has got a lot to answer for

It's not the eating as such that would bother me but this rigid, fixed mindset. It sounds like he will never compromise for you and thats just not good in healthy relationships.
I was vegan for years and I had plenty of dinners out where the best offering for me was stir fried veggies. But we'd go to a vegan restaurant for the next meal out. Its about give and take and it doesn't sound like he has any give.

If he's autistic, he may have not been able to change his view on it no matter what OP said.

I actually find the fosters habit very difficult to comprehend! Hundreds of similar lagers are vegan, why would he pick that one?!🤣