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Original poster

Hairdressers. Why do you do it? Anyone else?

283 replies

theworriermum · 04/02/2025 23:23

I don't know if it's all hairdressers or just my hair type (long, thick, coarse) but unless I'm absolutely prescriptive and borderline stern, they go to town.

Right now, I'm 4 months postpartum, heavier than I usually am and looking tired but my long brunette hair was my saving grace! I walked around with a birds nest in 4th Trimester to give it a break from heat. I straightened it before the cut for the first time and it was gorgeous and healthy. So long, long feathering across my jawline and neck.

I took my eye off the ball not saying 'trim only, no thinning, and please NO dramatic diagonal scissors for feathering'. I did say keep the length and that I liked the existing cut but it wasn't stern enough.

I couldn't see what she was doing at the back but it's clear to me now that she has thinned it without asking. A lot of them do this as I have thick hair but I hate it. At the front I asked for shorter parts to frame my face, which I already had but she has taken it way too far back, I look like a Shetland pony and the most infuriating part.... when she went to feather my hair, rather than trim the existing feathers she angled her scissors away from my face at a drastic angle and before I could say anything she slid them down. I asked her to stop but she said 'it's not even' and kept going, so now between the Shetland pony style side fringe, and OTT angle feathering, my actual hair only starts behind my shoulders. It's so ugly.

I'm devastated tbh. 2.5 weeks on and I still hate it. It's going to take months to grow this out. Last time this happened it took 10 months and I've been growing it and protecting it since.

Why? Why do you do it hairdressers? Anyone else?

I wouldn't mind the Edward scissors hands approach if they knew what they were doing. It's a shame the only person I trust to cut my hair is fully booked for weeks and I only know my window of free time a day or two before being mum of 2.

OP posts:
YouLookNiceJackie · 06/02/2025 22:58

fridaynight1 · 05/02/2025 01:31

I've been going to the same hairdresser for years. But I was really upset last time I went.

I was early and watched her preeming and tweeking the lady before me for ages. She really spent a long time after drying on more cutting.

By the time it was my turn she was running late. I get it. I have terrible hair. She doesn't have much to work with. It's thin and my shiny scalp is very obvious. I felt like she saw me waiting, thought I was easy and she could just do the usual without the fuss. No extra preeming and tweeking for me 😟I left feeling really rubbish.

And I bet I paid the same price.

I swear nobody in the history of hair has spent as much as me and has so little to show for it. I've tried so many different lotions and potions and hairdressers over the years. I always go to good salons with good reviews and non of them come cheap. I genuinely think DH would do a better job sometimes😱

Hi I'm late to this post but just saw your comment and wanted to suggest rosemary oil for hair to you. My ds has a receeding hairline and has been massaging this in a few times a week. He has so much new hair growth! I was skeptical at first but now I'm amazed!

MTPF · 06/02/2025 22:36

Truth is a lot of hairdressers are not very good. Not trained to cut hair properly and their repertoire is very limited. I am a hairdresser , have been for 40 years . Got customers that I've virtually been doing for that length of time. I listen and generally deliver what we've agreed on. I would recommend that if you spot someone with a haircut you like.. ask them who they ve been to , to have it cut.. if they are booked up well in advance, be patient and wait until they can do it.. Good cutters are few and far between.. but they are out there. Good luck finding one and I'm sorry that so many are rubbish

RavenhairedRachel · 06/02/2025 22:26

Traceysgoingtobelivid · 04/02/2025 23:29

My hairdresser for some reason hates to uses scissors, she always wants to razor my long, already fine hair, I hate it it makes my hair all ‘pointy’ for want of a better explanation, I just want an inch of the bottom and slightly shorter around my face, I mean razoring fine hair is insanity it’s literally taking any thickness away, it’s infuriating, you have my sympathies OP.

Change your hairdresser she's obviously not listening and not right for you

Snugglemonkey · 06/02/2025 22:17

Purrrrrfectpaws · 05/02/2025 02:47

I went through years crying as soon as I left the hairdressers.

I have very thick dark brown hair that’s almost black but I suit it lighter so I’ve been blonde for years. It ages to lift and too many hairdressers have been scared to leave the bleach on long enough so it had an orange tinge to it. I went to one woman a few times who insisted it was make up or fake tan!
According to my current hairdresser I have the most difficult hair she’s ever encountered.

I went to a hairdresser who made such a bad job I had to have it all cut short, I spent six months growing it back so it was almost chin length and went somewhere else. I begged them not to touch the length and just cut my fringe but they insisted it’d grow quicker with a trim. They ended up taking a couple of inches off and I cried for hours.

I have an amazing hairdresser now I’ve been going to her for years but it’s very expensive, they have the best reputation where I live but it’s £200 for a 3/4 head of highlights and a cut and blow dry. It takes 5 hours to do it and thats over an hour just to put the foil packets in.
My DP thought I was crazy at first to pay that for hair but now he’s just relieved he doesn’t have to hear me moaning about it.

My hair is currently very very long but I’ve decided to get it cut a lot shorter on Friday, it’s the most drastic change I’ve had for years and I’m terrified I’ll hate it. I just hope if I’m unhappy with it that it grows back quickly. I swim daily and unfortunately the chlorine takes its toll.

Do you wear a swimming cap? It is essential for me.

toxic44 · 06/02/2025 22:11

I'm so sorry you're in this horrible predicament. The only answer I've found is to not go to them. I've worn my hair very long (mid-thigh) for years. The first thing every hairdresser said was, 'Let me give you a nice short young cut.' No. No. And again, no. The last time I went was on my wedding day, having had a rehearsal with the same stylist, who couldn't remember what she'd done. Yes, I took photos. She made such a botch, snipping here and clipping there I was in tears and swore I'd never go to a salon again. And never have. That's almost 50 years ago, so they haven't changed.

Flossy1985 · 06/02/2025 21:33

Same here!! I have long thick course wavy hair where strands are the thickness of cotton but also a lot of it!! I have to pre warn hairdressers about how much I have because it will take longer than average. I’m happiest with a femullet which I’ve had for over 15yrs to help me manage it better. Last one I went to said it can’t be done like that as my hair is too thick and would look silly. I ended up with a feather finish I hated it so much. Don’t tell me how my hair should be I’ve lived with it long enough to know!!
im also 4months post partum with my first 🥰

BlueFlowers5 · 06/02/2025 21:03

OP I've had the angled back, it's infuriating isn't it OP.
I now cut my short, all one length bob, myself with my sewing scissors.

If I go to the hairdresser's I ask for all one length, and I show them the length I mean.

NameChangedOfc · 06/02/2025 20:49

Oh, OP, I hear you... I hear you so much!

tommyhoundmum · 06/02/2025 20:49

theworriermum · 04/02/2025 23:23

I don't know if it's all hairdressers or just my hair type (long, thick, coarse) but unless I'm absolutely prescriptive and borderline stern, they go to town.

Right now, I'm 4 months postpartum, heavier than I usually am and looking tired but my long brunette hair was my saving grace! I walked around with a birds nest in 4th Trimester to give it a break from heat. I straightened it before the cut for the first time and it was gorgeous and healthy. So long, long feathering across my jawline and neck.

I took my eye off the ball not saying 'trim only, no thinning, and please NO dramatic diagonal scissors for feathering'. I did say keep the length and that I liked the existing cut but it wasn't stern enough.

I couldn't see what she was doing at the back but it's clear to me now that she has thinned it without asking. A lot of them do this as I have thick hair but I hate it. At the front I asked for shorter parts to frame my face, which I already had but she has taken it way too far back, I look like a Shetland pony and the most infuriating part.... when she went to feather my hair, rather than trim the existing feathers she angled her scissors away from my face at a drastic angle and before I could say anything she slid them down. I asked her to stop but she said 'it's not even' and kept going, so now between the Shetland pony style side fringe, and OTT angle feathering, my actual hair only starts behind my shoulders. It's so ugly.

I'm devastated tbh. 2.5 weeks on and I still hate it. It's going to take months to grow this out. Last time this happened it took 10 months and I've been growing it and protecting it since.

Why? Why do you do it hairdressers? Anyone else?

I wouldn't mind the Edward scissors hands approach if they knew what they were doing. It's a shame the only person I trust to cut my hair is fully booked for weeks and I only know my window of free time a day or two before being mum of 2.

It's lucky you can't see my cut. I look like a coconut there's so little hair left. We got chatting and that was my mistake.

hcee19 · 06/02/2025 20:41

My hair is long, all the same length, with a fringe. Tried a few times to grow out my fringe but l do not suit it...Been to same hairdresser for years, she knows l like a straight blunt cut, but for some reason the last time l visited the salon, she began to feather down the side of my hair...l shouted, no, what are you doing,?She said my hair is so thick, it could do with thining out....her opinion.....l was so mad, she didn't bother to ask, so glad l stopped her when l did....l was so mad, cannot begin to tell you, so totally understand how mad you are....These hairdressers probably do know best, l am not a hairdresser, but they should do what we want.....Hope your hair grows quickly

Chumbawomble · 06/02/2025 20:24

I always get 'your hair is a totally different texture from the woman in the photo and therefore I can't do what you ask'. Have worked my way through most of the hairdressers in the town. The last but one seemed to have a hangover, was huffing and puffing and refused to do what I asked. He was rude, petulant and unprofessional. The latest one, a v nice woman, so far seems good. Please let it last.

Newusername3kidss · 06/02/2025 20:22

Oh I’ve had many feathering disasters - love my hairdresser now she knows I like a blunt cut with zero layers! X

Sandflea9900 · 06/02/2025 20:05

This is exactly why I’ve only had two hairdressers in 30 years. 5 years ago I moved house 50 miles away, but I still drive back to see my old hairdresser every two months. Tried a local one and they butchered my hair. Never again!

MasterpiecesofthePuzzle · 06/02/2025 19:57

I often find the hairdressers very stressful. Got very frizzy wiry naturally wavy hair. Not nice curls. Firstly I find if I’m old enough to be their mum that’s the first red flag. Next they always want to layer my hair which just makes the shorter areas harder to control. Then they feather the front which I always ask them NOT to as it just breaks and splits and lastly they never know how to blow dry with a round brush. They just want to blast it with the hair dryer and then use GHDs so it’s all flat to my head! I could do that at home for free! If a hairdresser is good they will always have a long waiting list!

ObelixtheGaul · 06/02/2025 19:44

I've just had that. Razor feathering. It now looks like split end city. All I wanted was shaped round my face and a fringe.

Zocola · 06/02/2025 19:39

Years ago my boyfriend carried out half of a hairdressing course and then left. He was pretty good at a basic trim and blow dry,and I often let him trim my hair. Once I wanted a fringe and trusted him enough to do it for me,however he'd just smoke a bloody spliff and got completely carried away cutting it, I ended up with a fringe around an inch long that wouldn't lie flat and stretched from ear to ear even cutting into my sideburns I was mortified! and had to wear a hat to work for months (luckily I could). Years later I can laugh about it,but at the time I was sooo upset, especially when he kept telling me it looked fine,and that it would grow back!

Nanny0gg · 06/02/2025 19:32

Notgoodatchoosingnames · 05/02/2025 11:25

This is me! so much so I only go once or twice a year as I can't cope with paying for the disappointment.
and my 11 year old son has just started experiencing the same, we are on the 5th barbers now as the last few cuts have made him cry. He searches for styles online, shows what we wants then gets the same cut as he always gets which is nothing like it! so frustrating. He's asked recently if we could go to London to get his hair cut, we live in Wales! hmmmm, No!

Before they start, ask them if he can have that style or not

If yes and it isn't, kick off and ask for a refund

If no - ask why not. His hair may not be suitable

OhMyGiddyAuntFanny · 06/02/2025 19:06

I despair going to the hairdresser - they never get the cut right. I ask for a layered angled bob - that’s up at the back with longer lengths at the front. Do I get that? Absolutely not. I find that when the stylist talks too much that’s when they mess up more. I keep changing my hairdresser hoping to find one that will listen and cut my hair how I want it to be cut.

Idontcareboutthestateofmyhair · 06/02/2025 18:55

I haven't used a hairdresser for about 12 years now. I cut my own hair and always get compliments. Was sick to death of them doing what they wanted! I go from long to shoulder, to long bobs and they always cut too much off and made my fringe too short too!

Curryingfavour · 06/02/2025 18:21

As an adult I’ve had one awful cut and one colour disaster!
But quite a few poor finishes .
I have shoulder length hair , fine texture but plenty of it and it’s very wavy .
They seem to dry it stick straight despite me asking for it bouncy , then they take hair straighteners to it to give it a “ curl “ when in fact all that is doing is pulling the curl + wave out

Pinkrinse · 06/02/2025 18:19

Traceysgoingtobelivid · 04/02/2025 23:29

My hairdresser for some reason hates to uses scissors, she always wants to razor my long, already fine hair, I hate it it makes my hair all ‘pointy’ for want of a better explanation, I just want an inch of the bottom and slightly shorter around my face, I mean razoring fine hair is insanity it’s literally taking any thickness away, it’s infuriating, you have my sympathies OP.

Why do you keep going back? I wouldn’t 🤷🏼‍♀️

Laurmolonlabe · 06/02/2025 18:15

I've been to the hairdressers about 4 times in my life (I'm 63) and was profoundly unhappy every time- so I just avoid it- I have long fine hair and no fringe- so I just avoid them, why pay to be tortured.
My mother nagged me to have my hair cut/dyed/permed anything as long as it wasn't natural or what I wanted every day of my childhood teenage years- I only gave in 4 times and hated it every time- she still nags me to have it cut, and I still ignore her. Just let nature have her way-easier , cheaper and usually more attractive.

Feelinghurt2 · 06/02/2025 18:06

I feel your pain. For years I would ask for no layers and the hairdresser would ignore my request and put layers in. I found that when you've got wet hair after them having washed it, it's harder to see what they're doing. In the very few times I've been to the hairdressers in the last few years, I've had a dry cut and it's easier to see what's happening and to stop anyone wanting to do the Rod Stewart look. I mostly do my own now though.

Poppins21 · 06/02/2025 18:02

sorry about your hair OP I feel your pain. I think most of them are not very good at cutting hair - I think it’s that simple. Took me years to find one that understands the word trim.

MMUmum · 06/02/2025 17:57

I have hair that is curly on one side and straight on the other, resulting in reality in a mess of curls. In all my days I have only ever trusted 2 hairdressers enough to say' do what you want with it', one several years ago and my current one. The one I left last was because whatever I said I always looked the same at the end as when I went in🙄

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