Page 10 | Hairdressers. Why do you do it? Anyone else?

theworriermum · 2025-02-04T23:23:30+00:00

I don't know if it's all hairdressers or just my hair type (long, thick, coarse) but unless I'm absolutely prescriptive and borderline stern, they go to town. Right now, I'm 4 months postpartum, heavier than I usually am and looking tired but my long brunette hair was my saving grace! I walked around with a birds nest in 4th Trimester to give it a break from heat. I straightened it before the cut for the first time and it was gorgeous and healthy. So long, long feathering across my jawline and neck. I took my eye off the ball not saying 'trim only, no thinning, and please NO dramatic diagonal scissors for feathering'. I did say keep the length and that I liked the existing cut but it wasn't stern enough. I couldn't see what she was doing at the back but it's clear to me now that she has thinned it without asking. A lot of them do this as I have thick hair but I hate it. At the front I asked for shorter parts to frame my face, which I already had but she has taken it way too far back, I look like a Shetland pony and the most infuriating part.... when she went to feather my hair, rather than trim the existing feathers she angled her scissors away from my face at a drastic angle and before I could say anything she slid them down. I asked her to stop but she said 'it's not even' and kept going, so now between the Shetland pony style side fringe, and OTT angle feathering, my actual hair only starts behind my shoulders. It's so ugly. I'm devastated tbh. 2.5 weeks on and I still hate it. It's going to take months to grow this out. Last time this happened it took 10 months and I've been growing it and protecting it since. Why? Why do you do it hairdressers? Anyone else? I wouldn't mind the Edward scissors hands approach if they knew what they were doing. It's a shame the only person I trust to cut my hair is fully booked for weeks and I only know my window of free time a day or two before being mum of 2.

billysboy · 05/02/2025 06:28

On my four trips to the barbers a year they ask how I would like it cut to which I reply “ quietly “
I ha e resigned myself to the fact they will do what ever they want anyway so don’t get too involved
so pay my £12 and get on with my day

Yesiknowdear · 05/02/2025 06:24

I asked my hairdresser for a long bob, and highlights redoing, I have very very thin hair, and need the bleach at the root.
It was grown out because I don't get time for myself. I left with orange roots.
Not a hint of orange. Actual orange.
I had yi go somewhere else and in total I spent £300 making it better after she completely fucked it up.

Tryinghardtobefair · 05/02/2025 06:22

I have long, thick curly hair that is almost down to my bum. SO many past hair dressers insisted on straightening my hair before cutting it into layers, which just resulted in me looking like a triangle. I hit a point where I specified not to straighten my hair before cutting it because they can't cut it accurately if it's not got its curl. If they said they couldn't do it I asked for a refund and left. Thankfully now I have a good hair dresser who has the same hair type as me so can actually cut it accurately

TemporaryPosition · 05/02/2025 06:22

Completely sympathise OP, I cut my own hair for this reason

Bubblybits · 05/02/2025 06:21

Really sympathise. Thick, coarse hair here too and they loooove a thinning scissors moment. I’m always super clear that thinning is not okay, then they use the normal scissors to do it anyway. I’ve tried to refuse to pay before, but they insist that the only options are to either pay or allow them to try and fix it, and if they’ve already fucked it up and made it too short, I’m not going to allow them to make it worse!

Barney16 · 05/02/2025 06:16

The last disastrous haircut I had I asked for a bob and got a mullet. That took two years to grow out. Two bloody years.

Fingerscrossedfor2021HK · 05/02/2025 05:49

Oh my god this literally could have been me typing about 6 months after my first baby was born. I have very long hair, it’s quite fine but I have a lot of it so loads of hairdressers claim it’s thick and insist on cutting in layers. I hate layers. It makes me look like a mushroom.

Went for A TRIM at a new salon as we had moved country. Specifically said NO LAYERS. This absolute goblin of a man made me look like Rachel in early episodes of friends. He cut layers so short at the front I couldn’t even get my hair up into a ponytail. I wept for weeks (to be fair, I also had PPD at the time). It took over a year plus a new pregnancy to grow my hair back.

Thank god we moved back to my home country and in no small part I was relieved to get back to my old stylist!

@theworriermum i absolutely feel your pain. Tie it back as much as possible before it grows back and - pro tip - get knocked up again asap (a 9 month pp accident for me!) and it grows faster 😂

Anycrispsleft · 05/02/2025 05:41

I find that bringing in photos just makes it worse. Once when I had moved down south I took an actual photo of myself taken shortly after my previous haircut and I got something completely different. A couple of times I've managed to find a decent hairdresser (when I was younger and was motivated to shop around) but these days I can't be bothered so I just keep it long and cut it myself. I've also long ago stopped dyeing it so I now sort of look like Mary Beard only less well put together. If I tried to get my hair cut in a salon these days I think they'd chase me out the door!

PenneyFouryourthoughts · 05/02/2025 05:24

I also have thick hair and whilst I appreciate that it can look bulky, stylists tend to go overboard with layers leaving it looking lank. Why????

Also I'm a middle aged woman and my hair is s long. The stylist always wants to turn it into a bob. Fudge off! I don't want to turn into a clone of my mother thank you. Why can't women just have long, textured, blunt cut layers? Is there some kind of hairdresser code that outlaws it?

I haven't been to the salon for eight months because a) I can't find one I like and b) I refuse to part with a big lot of money only to be disappointed afterwards. I also HATE small talk. Cut my damn hair and stop asking about where I'm going on holiday ffs. i'm looking for a unicorn. (If anyone has any recommendations for SE London DM me).

Turkeyneck101 · 05/02/2025 04:35

I have had more than a few hair disasters over the years, I'm 60. I have alot of fine straight hair . The 2 worst hair disasters still incur nausea when I think of them!

When I was early 20s i had shorter hair and a hairdresser convinced me to have a sort of perm thing to lift my hair at the root as it was so fine and straight...she made a mistake somehow and left me with a large chunk of kinked hair at the top that absolutely nothing would correct. Took forever to grow out.

Years later having learnt to be specific i brought a picture of a to the shoulder hair cut of a choppy bob. My hair was at my shoulders when I went in. He got me to put my head forward and cut my hair up to just below my hairline. One side was longer than the other too. It barely went past my ears. I looked like a boy. I cried. I never went back.

Currently i live rurally and so options are slim. My current hairdresser is nice I've had to go back a couple of times because one side was longer than the other. I went back to an old hairdresser of mine before a big event last year. Sadly it is a 2 hour drive away. She advised me to always go to them with straight hair, and leave with straight hair don't let them curl it with tongs or fluff it up as that covers up any imbalances which just seemed to keep happening, I think because I wear a side part or I have a wonky head or something. All I want is a choppy bob but anything that involves detail seems to be too much to ask. So I just get a trim. 🙄

ImustLearn2Cook · 05/02/2025 04:28

I have had the same experiences too. And any time I have found a hairdresser that actually listens to me and cuts my hair to how I’ve asked I’ve been so happy that I finally found the hairdresser for me. But then they tend to disappear. Either they have left the salon or they are booked in months in advance or if I have booked in months in advance I am unlucky enough to find out that they are away today and this other hairdresser “who is just as good” is going to look after you today. And I feel too worried about hurting feelings so I don’t say no thank you I would like to reschedule with the hairdresser that I booked with.

With some hairdressers I think that they think they know better than you about what would look good with your hair, so they just do what they want.

CottonCandyLand · 05/02/2025 03:22

Not a cut, but a colour disaster. Many years ago, I went to a training Academy (L’ Oreal) to get some subtle highlights put in. I used to go to a hairdresser and he would use a cap on my very, very short hair to put these highlights in. The Academy was a lot cheaper so I thought I would try that. Big mistake. The instructor got the students to put foils in. Once they removed the foils and washed the bleach out, the students started sniggering behind me. It wasn’t until I got home and looked in the mirror that I realized I looked like a fucking tiger with orange stripes across the back of my head. Next time was back to my original Hairdresser.

InSpainTheRain · 05/02/2025 03:13

I just shopped round to find a hairdresser i trusted. Now I just say "do your stuff" and he does! I think its a case of finding the right one for you.

Newposter180 · 05/02/2025 03:09

fridaynight1 · 05/02/2025 01:31

I've been going to the same hairdresser for years. But I was really upset last time I went.

I was early and watched her preeming and tweeking the lady before me for ages. She really spent a long time after drying on more cutting.

By the time it was my turn she was running late. I get it. I have terrible hair. She doesn't have much to work with. It's thin and my shiny scalp is very obvious. I felt like she saw me waiting, thought I was easy and she could just do the usual without the fuss. No extra preeming and tweeking for me 😟I left feeling really rubbish.

And I bet I paid the same price.

I swear nobody in the history of hair has spent as much as me and has so little to show for it. I've tried so many different lotions and potions and hairdressers over the years. I always go to good salons with good reviews and non of them come cheap. I genuinely think DH would do a better job sometimes😱

I’m the same. I have spent an absolute fortune over the years and never really liked my hair. Obviously it’s never going to be magically thick and swishy but I’m currently (a year on) still growing out what looks like a short Bob that was cut in the top layers of my long hair. I’d just asked to get rid of some tatty split ends and I can’t even get it cut again to blend in because the pieces are so short.

Original poster

theworriermum · 05/02/2025 03:00

CienAnosDeSoledad · 05/02/2025 02:03

Yep.

All I want is a simple slanted bob, short at the back (not stracked, just straight), longer at the front, ending below my chin. That's it. No goddamn LAYERS, no fringe, no colour/highlights/whatever. A simple slanted bob. I have decent hair, fine, but lots of it, naturally wavy. This messy, tousled, wavy bob suits me.

Do I get it? Do I fuck. I take plenty of pics with me, pics of models, pics of myself with the hairstyle from all the sides and back. Nope. They nod nod nod and then make it longer, make it shorter, make it straight, add some layers, you choose.

I just can't deal with these imbeciles anymore. My tween cuts my hair now, after watching a few tutorials and trying on a mannequin a few times. She does a better job than all of them.

It's hardly rocket science. They charge arm and leg and are completely incompetent.

Yep I took in a pic of Cat Deely as like I had her hair is long with long layers and some feathering but clearly not slanted scissor lazy feathering. I liked her blow dry also but I got neither.

OP posts:

Original poster

theworriermum · 05/02/2025 02:54

Essexg · 05/02/2025 01:44

With very thin, fine hair I hated going to the hairdressers. Always far too much removed with layers so short my hair looked as if it was leaving my head every morning. All is well now. A small, local salon with an understanding hairdresser who listens. I opt for a dry trim, quicker, cheaper and we can both see what’s happening and if necessary call a halt. The last time I just wanted the back trimmed, nothing from the crown or sides. Instant agreement and understanding, a happy client for sure.

This is such a good idea and wish I did that. If I had literally said don't touch the front if we decided to then trim it I am sure she wouldn't have given me curtains like a 90s boy band. Only saving grace is it shouldn't take more than a couple months for it to grow beneath my chin where I can get it fixed.

OP posts:

Regrettableteakbutterfly · 05/02/2025 02:48

Another fine, thin hair person here. Never in the history of ever have layers made my hair looks thicker, fuller, or more voluminous. They just make it look straggly and sad. Yet periodically the hairdresser puts them back in my hair. It's exactly like they hear my request (2cm off the bottom, straight across, no layers) and instead of thinking "great, a quick one" they go "I have 1/2 an hour booked for her, I'd better fill in the time by making the haircut last the entire length of the booking". Then it takes me years to grow the top layer out to match the bottom, my hair looks thick (or as thick as it can look, which is objectively thin and sad) and the whole layer process starts again.

Purrrrrfectpaws · 05/02/2025 02:47

I went through years crying as soon as I left the hairdressers.

I have very thick dark brown hair that’s almost black but I suit it lighter so I’ve been blonde for years. It ages to lift and too many hairdressers have been scared to leave the bleach on long enough so it had an orange tinge to it. I went to one woman a few times who insisted it was make up or fake tan!
According to my current hairdresser I have the most difficult hair she’s ever encountered.

I went to a hairdresser who made such a bad job I had to have it all cut short, I spent six months growing it back so it was almost chin length and went somewhere else. I begged them not to touch the length and just cut my fringe but they insisted it’d grow quicker with a trim. They ended up taking a couple of inches off and I cried for hours.

I have an amazing hairdresser now I’ve been going to her for years but it’s very expensive, they have the best reputation where I live but it’s £200 for a 3/4 head of highlights and a cut and blow dry. It takes 5 hours to do it and thats over an hour just to put the foil packets in.
My DP thought I was crazy at first to pay that for hair but now he’s just relieved he doesn’t have to hear me moaning about it.

My hair is currently very very long but I’ve decided to get it cut a lot shorter on Friday, it’s the most drastic change I’ve had for years and I’m terrified I’ll hate it. I just hope if I’m unhappy with it that it grows back quickly. I swim daily and unfortunately the chlorine takes its toll.

FreedomandPeace · 05/02/2025 02:33

TwinklyTornadoBear · 05/02/2025 02:29

You are my people! I have fine, straight hair but lots of it. A gently angular bob suits me. I remember vividly sitting at the mirror as a hairdresser gave me a great cut - sleek and simple, slightly longer at the front with just a hint of long layers. I smugly thought I’d found the holy grail. Then she uttered the words ‘I’ll just do your ends’ and in a nano second the lovely crisp front was gone and I had a jaw skimming mushroom arrangement not unlike Velma from scooby doo… Thankfully new hairdresser understands, for now at least 🤞

@Mindedmy @FreedomandPeace I learned early on that our local barbers cannot do anything other than one style, nor can they do a scissor cut. Took DS to the village salon and it’s a game changer! He comes out looking great rather than someone joining the army.

Unfortunately the salon was much the same for ours. My eldest walked out and refused to pay he was that upset

Johnny Depp Haircut GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

TwinklyTornadoBear · 05/02/2025 02:29

You are my people! I have fine, straight hair but lots of it. A gently angular bob suits me. I remember vividly sitting at the mirror as a hairdresser gave me a great cut - sleek and simple, slightly longer at the front with just a hint of long layers. I smugly thought I’d found the holy grail. Then she uttered the words ‘I’ll just do your ends’ and in a nano second the lovely crisp front was gone and I had a jaw skimming mushroom arrangement not unlike Velma from scooby doo… Thankfully new hairdresser understands, for now at least 🤞

@Mindedmy @FreedomandPeace I learned early on that our local barbers cannot do anything other than one style, nor can they do a scissor cut. Took DS to the village salon and it’s a game changer! He comes out looking great rather than someone joining the army.

swansease · 05/02/2025 02:26

I can recommend a good hairdresser in Swansea who is happy to give me the same haircut I've had since the 90s- straight line round the bottom, shorter bits at the front, no layers, doesn't insist on drying it before I leave. Took some finding though.

CienAnosDeSoledad · 05/02/2025 02:03

Yep.

All I want is a simple slanted bob, short at the back (not stracked, just straight), longer at the front, ending below my chin. That's it. No goddamn LAYERS, no fringe, no colour/highlights/whatever. A simple slanted bob. I have decent hair, fine, but lots of it, naturally wavy. This messy, tousled, wavy bob suits me.

Do I get it? Do I fuck. I take plenty of pics with me, pics of models, pics of myself with the hairstyle from all the sides and back. Nope. They nod nod nod and then make it longer, make it shorter, make it straight, add some layers, you choose.

I just can't deal with these imbeciles anymore. My tween cuts my hair now, after watching a few tutorials and trying on a mannequin a few times. She does a better job than all of them.

It's hardly rocket science. They charge arm and leg and are completely incompetent.

FreedomandPeace · 05/02/2025 02:01

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 05/02/2025 01:46

I also have very, very thin and fine hair. I have tried so many different things and never found one that worked. Have given thought to trying Nutrafol but figure it will turn out with the same results.

Show quote history

Also for @fridaynight1

My hair started to recede and thin post 50.
Ive been using Regaine and it’s amazing. It really does work as long as you use it every day.
Get the mens version ( as it’s exactly the same just cheaper ) and use once a day.

FreedomandPeace · 05/02/2025 01:55

Mindedmy · 05/02/2025 00:00

I have same experience taking my boys to the barbers. Doesn’t really matter what I ask for, what grade they agree to nor the pictures we show them - they always get a short back and sides. Plus they add wax and style the hair. The next day after a hair wash the fringes are always wonky donkey. I have previously vehemently asked for “just a trim and tidy-up” and they took 0.5cm off all over and then looked pissed off when I said take off more.
I only get my hair done a couple of times a year, with self trims (see YouTube) inbetween. I also do my own colours, usually on a whim when bored. Last few times I have visited the hairdresser they have commented on my “gorgeous tones” : mwa-ha-haa .This is me, adding a bit of this and that colour periodically (to pass away time on rainy days).
Hairdressers and barbers: when we get our hair cut, and unless otherwise stated, we want you to follow the previous cut. Trimming-off enough to look as though we have been to the hairdressers but not so far as to have received a new style entirely. I still mourn for my amazing hairdresser who just knew and always did an amazing job. I received compliments from lots of people after every single cut. 5 years ago she moved into the management of salons and I have so far failed to find anyone quite like her.

Edited

I’m with you re sons hair cuts? I always cut my boys hair myself but as they got older they wanted to go to a barbers.
The barbers didn’t listen to a word my boys said and in fact cut their hair so short they all got told off at school as there are strict rules on hair.

After that they were back to mums hair cuts, their choice . Even now and they are older and at Uni

In terms of my hair I gave up wasting £60 a time getting a hair cut I didn't like. I haven’t been to a hairdressers since December 2019 as I decided to grow it long during the pandemic……
Ive never looked back

Newnameneededforthisone · 05/02/2025 01:50

I can't believe that I've found my people. I have this exact experience. I live in a small town and have been going to the same hairdresser for ages. She sometimes does it and I love it but it's completely hit and miss based on who-knows-what? This time she has cut my fringe like a young Rod Stewart despite me asking her to just trim it in the same shape as she did last time. Literally the same as a lot of you have described - scissors angled and then literally thin layers about 5 inches long are in my lap with her just having a mad half hour angling great chunks out. It's maddening. I know it grows but in between I look like I've borrowed an 8 year olds hair. I wish I knew the answer. It's as though once every 2nd cut she's decides she hates me.