… for married couples, to ask what age you stopped having sex?

Late 40's I think. My husband complained that my vagina was too loose. When my first child was born her shoulder caused me to tear and I haven't been the same since down there. I did have a prolapse repair but in the end had to have a hysterectomy. My husband is 4 and a bit years younger than me. We still share the same bed but he makes no attempt to hug me or show any affection. I wish he did.

I’m 49 & separated for nearly 10 years , biggest reason I went on dating scene again was because I missed sex so much ..Only went on dating scene 2 years ago ( kids were too young to go on any sooner ) ..
So far just been casual ..
Not doing that anymore, want it to be meaningful, still great sex drive though ..
So you & your husband love one another , you should want to enjoy that side of yr relationship, I’d def seek professional help if I were you & Enjoy being with your husband sexually..
You’re still young ..
You will get it back alright …x

I've made a lifelong commitment to my libido. If I'm honest, after about the first 5 years, I could take it or leave it.

But once initiated I can enjoy it.

I read a book called the "Affair-free marriage" which reinforced for me that I wanted to remain married. As men generally seem to have a higher need for sex, I decided that giving up wasn't an option. It would just leave my husband (or me potentially - at a stretch🤣) open to temptation or at least forming an emotional attachment.

So I looked up how to improve your libido. We tried various things, sex variations. My husband was a willing
learner at improving my experience of sex. I read erotic fiction, watched romantic TV shows - some of which worked in the sense of reminding me sex existed. The power of suggestion or something.

I've been able to keep up with my husband quite happily, and he is happy with our sex life.

I feel it's important to put his happiness into the equation so I totally get you OP.

Lubricant and multiple orgasms No pain whatsoever

When my husband died I was 57 husband was 77 We would never have stopped otherwise We both really enjoyed it at least 3 times a week

I liked sex a lot back in the day. Other half was adventurous so I've done some threesomes etc. Find the "have you tried therapy" suggestions hilarious. Eventually biology comes for us all. I don't believe most women want it after 50. Our bodies stop being able to handle the friction.

So what you're saying is that if you suffered with ED, couldn't take viagra, tried specialist counselling and still couldn't have sex with your wife, that you'd fall on your sword and divorce her, no matter how much you loved her, because she's not there for the great conversation after all.
I'm not saying sex isn't important in a relationship, but it's a pretty shit relationship if it's all you have.

My dh is 69 I'm mid 50s. We have regular sex. I find the blissel estrogen gel helps

As soon as I had twins 2 and a half years ago at 36! I’m too tired, he’s too tired, we are both drained! I can honestly say I’ve only really wanted sex 3 times since they were born. We average around once every 3 months though. It’s dire.

This sounds exactly like me except it was around mid 50’s. It is too painful and I can’t understand how older women can not have pain? Personally I’m happier not having sex as have never enjoyed it and although I gave my partner an option to leave me, we’re still together.

Does depend on how you define stopped having sex, so zero sex at all, hasn’t happened, sex probably fewer than monthly, late 50s, unsure why, don’t actually think it was menopause related for DW, she just isn’t interested

No, it’s more to do with the relationship, excluding health issues. 🤷‍♀️

That seems very unfair as he wants and needs intimacy which tbf are important parts of a healthy relationship. Aren't you worried that he'll have a fling?

This makes me sad. I can’t imagine feeling like this within the next 5 years. If I thought my husband was comparing sex with me to a mundane task, I would honestly call time on the marriage because I am too young to have no sex life. I think the therapist is a great step, we saw one for issues and things have totally improved since that point.

You both deserve to feel happy, so if you don’t want sex then I think you should bring it up, but be prepared that he is unlikely to want that, so it may mean separation.

I think peri menopause & full menopause sadly brings with it an “OFF” switch. I could never image not wanting sex when I was in my 20s, 30s & 40s but here we are…….

Just a perspective. I’m all for it in the first throes of a relationship but almost completely lose my sex drive after that. It’s just not something I want or need - and not something I feel like I want to fight to get back. Tricky as DH is very keen.

Why can't you have HRT? There are lots of different options including options if there is a family history of breast cancer. I think it sounds like you need Testosterone so I really think you should go and explain to your GP you have entirely lost your libido. But for context, I'm mid 50's, dh is late 60's and we have sex as often as we can.

Our sex life tapered off in our 70s. Not because we don't want to, just the after-effects of stroke. Viagra helped a bit.

I am 70 this summer, happy with once a week. What has helped me - HRT, a good lubricant forget KY jelly or anything with alcohol if you get vaginal atrophy it burns like hell, Boots do any excellent one at a reasonable price bluey green bottle, patience when things go wrong sometimes, never wearing nightwear, therapy and most important communicating my needs to my lovely husband of 50 years. I hope you sort things OP and any of this helps any one of you lovely ladies out there even better. x

Early forties. Stopped being attracted to partner☹️

I’m 50, probably gone downhill libido wise for about 10 years. Citalopram really affected my drive. Still did engage because I love my husband and want him to be happy.

However, because of his cancer and pain levels his sex drive has completely gone really too. If he wanted to he wouldn’t be able to now.

So it’s been over a year and I really can’t imagine ever being interested again.

This sums me up but I think a lot of people feel like this but just don't say it?

I'm not interested and I'm not on HRT! Can't ever imagine having sex again

Same here. I had an early menopause and lost interest mid 40s I think, now 60. We do it once a week and I don't not enjoy it - but it does feel more like a chore than something I look forward to. Sometimes it's lovely and we cuddle afterwards which is nice, but I could happily never do it again.

I’m mid forties. Been a few months since I last did the deed. I no longer have the desire for it or enjoy it. I put out but it’s a chore and it hurts. I’m diagnosed as peri and have been for 5 years. I’m hoping it comes back. I’ve been put on creams and lubricants as before that DH just charged right in there and made me bleed. I couldn’t sit down properly for a week. Been scared ever since and I know it’s starting to cause issues. I’m on the Mirena and can’t take Oestrogen for various reasons. What I would say is dont fret over the age thing. My clinician told me that from 40 it nose dives for the majority of women. All perimenopause/menopause symptoms differ from woman to woman. Those that still can and can get on with it, good for you 👏🏻👏🏻