… for married couples, to ask what age you stopped having sex?

Huh? Going clear?

My g.p said i could only be on h.r.t for five years.then i was on h.r.t cream another five.then it all stops and you get no help

It's entirely normal and not something that needs medical treatment if you go off sex as the hormones that make you want sex are depleted. Having kids in your 40s comes with much higher risks so our bodies naturally don't give us the hormonal signals we get in our 20s and no-one should be expected to feel the same as they did then.

Have you tried HRT or vagifem? If not might be worth seeing the gp unless of course you’re both happy with the situation

I’m 63 and DH is 74. We stopped P in V when my menopause symptoms made it too uncomfortable, but still pleasure each other in other ways! Couple of times a month. We are still affectionate physically, hold hands, cuddle and kiss.

To be honest I think many people are not fed up with sex but fed up with sex with the same partner!

That is fine if your dp feels the same. The problem is many spouses do not feel the same but go along with a sexless relationship becaue they have no choice.
Until an opportunity presents itself and you only need a cursory look at the relationships board to see that it sadly happens all the time.

Sex in your 50s, 60s and 70s is perfectly normal. I would advise anyone not to become complacent.

Me and DH are mid 40’s and our sex life has dwindled.

With work and the children though our days are non-stop from 6.30am to 9.30pm and after 15 hours of being on the go the last thing either of us have the energy for when we go to bed is sex. We feel shattered by that point and just want to sleep before waking up for another 15 hours of the children and work.

I’m very jealous of the people who have this level of business in their lives and such long days and still have the desire to want to spend another hour awake for the purpose of sex before going to sleep.

We tend to have sex at the weekends because at least we know we are going to be having lazier days and late nights on Friday and Saturday aren’t such an issue, but for the other 5 nights of the week sex is just not on our radar. We just want to get some sleep 🤣

I’m hoping that as the children get older and more independent that this aspect of our busy/stressful life will ease up a bit and me and DH will feel less mental drained and we’ll have more energy for sex.

Don't want that either! DH would see that as foreplay leading up to the main event! If penetrative sex is painful for a woman it is not the man's right to have it. Year's ago when we 'did it' if he had a sore willy he didn't want to either. Not wanting sex when you are in your 60's is the normal. For those who still do it I am very happy for them but ageing is the key. I'd love to learn to ski like the Milk Tray man( old cultural reference but twkk), but I at my age it ain't gonna happen- end of!

@chargeitup they do packets with all the tablets and one or two applicators. You assemble, use and wash.

I'm done with it for now. Last time we did it, we conceived our precious daughter. That was 6 years ago. I'm 47,he's 49. It's crazy because we used to be very sexually active for many years ( I met him at 27)

A combination of trying to get pregnant, being pregnant, having a newborn and then a toddler, having miscarriages , being pregnant again, having a newborn and a 4 years old who got diagnosed with autism, sleep issues for everyone, holding on to demanding jobs, going non contact with my family and whatever I forget (probably the perimenopause too as I'm 47) has pretty much killed it for me. I'm hoping it won't last forever but right now, I can absolutely live without it.

Oh lord! Hopefully, never.
Married 23 years, together 27.
Definitely not as often as DH would like, mostly due to me being tired, because of insomnia.
I'm hoping that will improve when I retire and have less stress and more time.

I agree. I do recycle them. I’m careful about my impact on the environment, but the alternative here for me is horrible itching and soreness at a level that it v]can have me in tears.

But SO much plastic waste

I’m late 40’s and very enthusiastically having sex 3-4 times as week with my dp, who is early 40’s. I’m the hornier one and I’m on the pill atm so this will only get worse when I come off. I think it’s very hard when there is such a difference of sex drive between partners. @Thowawayname are you still attracted to your DH?

Vagifem actually can come pre loaded in insert tubes. You insert high into the vagina. There is no mess at all.

Vagifem is good for your whole Genitourinary system. It helps to stop UTIs which can become frequent as you age and laxity creeps in especially after a hysterectomy. It's not just all about sex. It's about maintaining a healthy body.

He's still pretty young. Give it a few years. I'm sure it doesn't happen to everyone but it seems pretty common, from what I hear.

It’s also available in pessary form, as Vagifem. It helps greatly with vaginal atrophy, but also with other menopause/post-menopause symptoms of soreness and itching of the vulva. The usual dose is one twice a week. That was great for me for many years. Unfortunately, the soreness and itching became a real problem again last year. I discussed it with my GP, who in turn discussed it with the local Gynaecology dept. They confirmed that in the circumstances. I could double the dose. It’s mostly fine since doing that. That said, I’m pretty certain that penetrative sex would be very uncomfortable. Thinking about it makes me wince 😳

Sadly, as I said in an earlier post, the libido of both myself and my husband has fallen away in the last couple of years. Thankfully, it failed for both of us around the same time, so no unmet needs, or frustration, other than us both being really sad that it’s lost, as we used to have a great time together. For those who still have a libido though, vaginal atrophy surely only rules out vaginal penetration. There is so much more than that to do to each other to bring pleasure and satisfaction.

Early 60's, married 30 years no desire to have sex though DH wants it 1/2 times a,week. Like many lost libido over menopause and never really came back. Marriage likely doomed as DH won't tolerate no sex, of any kind.

Hi just wondered if either of the GPs you spoke to mentioned vaginal estrogen cream (Estriol), it really works wonders to rebuild you inside down there so that sex won't be uncomfortable (also helps with UTIs, general soreness, incontinence problems, preventing prolapse). It's like a magical cream :-)

It can take several weeks or even months to improve depending on how long the "aging" has been left untreated - but it's worth persevering with. The usual loading dose is a small prescribed amount daily for 2-4 weeks due to severity, then usually twice a week (even though some need it more than that)...long term. It's not something you just do for a few months. If you need estrogen down there because you're not producing enough, then you'll use this cream long term. It can be a faff to get used to the applicator but it's worth it for your physical health. There's also a tablet again inserted into the vagina if you find the cream too messy. There are options. Plesae don't suffer if you're uncomfortable, look at treating it in case it gets worse.

Speak to your GP, I think even those who can't take the usual oral/transdermal HRT may be cleared to take the Estriol cream as it's localised.

47, together 18 years now, still a lot of sex. I had low libido after having my babies, but it came back, and probably better now that the kids have grown. Don't give up in your 40s!

Same here!
It's another job on the list and I could do without I think 🤔

https://www.boots.com./boots-silkyy-lubricant-10341184 they have repackaged it since I last bought some 😀

When my husband and I got together, I was 49 and he was 55. We were both rampant and it was wonderful until the last couple of years. I’m 66 in a few months and he is 71. We lost our libido around the same point (as I said, a couple of years ago). We still very much have chemistry and it pisses us both off. We are still ‘playful’ with each other though, so we still have intimacy. That will never leave us!.