16 year old daughter dating a 21 year old man

Same age gap for my parents & same ages. Everyone was against it, but they went ahead anyway. Sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with. They had just short of 60 years happy marriage until he passed away. Mind you things were different back in the early 60's

I can see why you’re feeling uncomfortable about this but I fear all you will achieve by becoming more critical or making it clear you do not approve is to push her further into his arms. It may all end in tears, but realistically so might a relationship with another 16 year old. In fact, it’s very likely to. I think it’s important she knows she can come to you with any problems or concerns without feeling there’ll be judgement or an ‘I told you so’ attitude. When I was 15, my boyfriend was 19 (so not quite as large a gap but still) and he was a good guy, generally. We were together 3 years and it fizzled of its own accord.

I’m a little conflicted on this. On one hand, I can’t see why an adult would want to date a child, in full time education, 5 years their junior.
On the other hand, it’s entirely legal. If she’s mature & he’s a little immature, or even just a typical 21 year old boy, then there’s every chance they have suitable maturity levels.
Either way, there’s not much you can do other than help her navigate what, I assume, is one of her first more grown up relationships.

I think the age gap is too big. However if you try and object it will just push her closer to him. Have a chat with your daughter and reassure her that you will be there for her.

At 16 I lived with my 26 yo boyfriend. It didn't end well. But to family I told them he was amazing, he was in front of others too.
He wasn't. That's the reality. I was young naieve and stupid.
We live and learn

I was 16 when I had my first "proper" relationship. We were together for 9.5 years and have 2 DC.

That said, I'm not sure I'd be happy if I were my mum!

Gosh, this is a really tricky one - as mentioned, she is a child and it is worrying that a 21-year old man would want to date a 16-year old. Then again, you sound like a loving and supportive mum who wants the best for her.
Are you close enough with her to have a real heart to heart about how it makes her feel? You probably can't ban her from seeing him but can raise your concerns in a diplomatic way.

I was 16 when I met my first serious bf and he was 21....same wavelength despite him working ft and me at college. We got a flat. Lasted about a year or 2...

She is a child, he is not.