Was I in the wrong to post this?

So you're miffed that she couldn't leave her child when they were not invited, but you also can't leave your dog when it's not invited?
Is this thread a reverse by any chance?

It's up to you (it's no-one else's business!), what you post on Facebook.

You meant you felt it was unfortunate, or however you described it, that YOU have been unable to give your parents grandchildren. That is perfectly OK as that's what you meant.

Your SIL read it out of context, and so have a few others on this thread who also can't read, so you are not being unreasonable.

The end.

Wedding i get why it was childfree and unless she had an under 6mo crap of her to not go, if she did have an under 6mo then totally reasonable of her to not go. (Did they have a baby?) Her child is scared of your dog, I get why they don’t want to meet up too.

but her comment re your fb was totally unnecessary. The solution is to share less of fb, or I suppose you could restrict her access to your posts.

I don't think that Facebook was the best place for your comment, OP.

Do you get support from groups like this one? That might be a source of the support you are looking for.

fertilitynetworkuk.org/access-support/healthunlocked-community/

Nah, I’m on SIL’s side. Firstly, the only children at my brother’s wedding were mine and his wife’s sisters kids. Because we’re family - regardless of the age. Secondly, did your DH’s parents see your FB post? Not saying this is right, but when my brother and his wife were having issues conceiving it was a strictly family only topic. If anyone asked my mom, if and when they were going to have children, my mother smiled sweetly and said nothing of substance. Their generation don’t vent their shit on FB.

Everyone saying SIL has main character syndrome - I see the opposite. OP wants everyone to know and everyone to feel sorry for her. I would be pissed off if some bird my brother married started talking crap on FB implying that my parents were lacking in some way because she didn’t give them grandchildren. Way too personal for FB.

You need to vent anonymously on here. It’s always a bad idea to vent in writing with it attached to your name.

Hmm I originally thought the same- but from reading the OP updates, I think there are a lot of issues with her and DH’s behaviour towards the DN that meant SIL’s back was already up.

I am really sorry for OP’s pain but I do think she lacks a bit of self awareness and maybe a touch of “main character” energy herself. But absolutely, SIL still should have just scrolled on by to avoid the drama!

It's her own Facebook, she can write whatever she wants on it. Saying it's inappropriate is nonsense.

She's expressing her hurt about infertility ffs, not saying anything terrible or unusual!

So your wedding was child free for obvious reasons, even though you have nieces or nephews, their son is scared of your dog ,but you judge them for not meeting up with you even though you will take your dog with you because your dog has anxiety to be left alone . Not sure on what main character energy actually is but if it’s all about oneself then you sure have alot of it .

Your SIL was unreasonable for nitpicking the wording of your post. You were expressing pain on your own page, and she was making it all about herself, finding an excuse to be offended.

Your SIL took your post and essentially said,
”But what about meee?” in the whiniest voice possible.
This isn’t about her. It’s about you.
And I’m sorry and I’m sending love.

Your SIL is suffering from a form of ignorance and comprehension!

I just saw this on Facebook, OP.

Is it something which would help you?

https://www.facebook.com/thefertilityshow

I can’t believe anyone read that with normal intelligence and in good faith and thought you meant their grandchildren from their other children don’t count. Her message was extremely insensitive, particularly in saying she knows how you feel. She clearly does not.

Agreed, there is way too much over sharing these days with people that actually don’t even care about your circumstances, share with your trusted friends and family or even try therapy

Sorry for your circumstances though

You could have worded it better, but quite frankly your SIL is a bi**h and quite cruel for making this about her and negating your pain. We all have weak moments and she wanted yours to be about her role, feelings, and right to call out technical fouls, instead of engaging her heart to recognise you are in pain. It just wasn't the time for that type of ish.

She very much has main character energy like someone suggested.

I don't think that comes across from your exaples at all - rather the reverse, really.

You're posting about infertility on Facebook of all places, which feels pretty inappropriate. She has a child, you chose a child free wedding and you're commenting that she didn't come? Then that she won't bring her scared-of-dogs child to see you but you can't leave your dog behind to see them because it has separation anxiety? Of the two, I think your position is the less defensible one on that.

I'm sorry for your fertility problems, OP, but I don't think you SIL is behaving poorly or attention seeking at all. Your Facebook post was ambiguous at best.

I'm going to second this post 👆
Big hugs to you. I'm in the same position and on top of the thousands of other feelings, I also understand the guilt of not being able to give grandchildren.

I have infertility and I feel the same about not being able to give my parents grandkids. You didn’t do anything wrong yes your sil has given them grandkids but you haven’t so you have every right to say and vent . I’m so sorry.

There are very few parents who would consider your SIL unreasonable for not wanting to leave her 8 month old, or for not subjecting her very young child to a dog he is afraid of.

It sounds like- from "I ask about her children"- that you literally don't see them because of your dog. Do you go to work? Anywhere at all without your dog? If so, they're clearly not a priority.

I don't think your SIL is being unreasonable. And I say this having gone through many years, and much pain because, of infertility myself.

This doesn’t paint you in a great light. Neither does attention seeking posts on FB to be honest. I don’t blame SIL one bit.

I think this sort of thing is best shared in a journal or to a trusted friend.

My understanding is the sister-in-law messaged you rather than responding to your post so I don't think it's really fair to say she has main character energy. She contacted you privately instead of making it all about her publicly.

Actually I feel for your SIL. You and your DH insisted on a child free wedding so didn’t give a fig about her needs when her baby was very tiny. You don’t care that your animal scares their child. Then you infer that your in-laws don’t have grandchildren when they do. I realise you’re hurting but I think you come across as quite selfish and mean.

I disagree it implies that the OP's parents have no other grandchildren. If you said you felt guilty that you couldn't afford to buy your parents a Christmas present would that imply no-one else had bought them one?