Worrying not heard from husband

He is busy op. He is fine. Do you have strategies when you spiral?

Breathing techniques?
Grounding techniques?

Call him at lunch time - 1pm if you haven’t heard back by then. This isn’t good for your relationship.

You've started a thread, I assume for reassurance? And 100% of the replies are reassuring you there's nothing wrong (mixed in with the comments about your response to this).

Does this not resssure you?

WhatsApp calls will ring even if someone's phone is off, have you called normally not via WhatsApp?

I understand the anxiety if this is out of the normal for you but I am guessing you are his next of kin so logically if he hasn't shown up at work they would have contacted you.

Surely someone would contact you if there was a problem, especially if he has you saved as ICE ( in case of emergency) in his phone.
It would be better to work on the assumption that no news is good news and get on with your day.
It must be exhausting for both of you for you to constantly need this much contact and reassurance.
Kindly, please get some further help before you drive him away.

“I am not enjoying this feeling trust me!”

Do you think your husband enjoys it?

In the kindest way possible, go to your gp so you both don’t have to go through this.

What’s app calling needs data so if it is one tick the message isn’t going through neither is the call so nothing is getting through

fairly common to have data not work - went for a weekend break to a big city and my god it was annoying data didn’t work. We expect everything to be an instant connection but truth is there are an awful lot of times and places it stops working

one grey tick means that OP that it hasn’t gone through offices with everyone trying to use data/wifi it is easy to see how that has happened often did to me

Could you contact his secretary or reception with some trivial query? They will tell you if he is in a meeting or not surely, just to put your mind at rest.......and then speak to your GP

You can share locations on your phones, may be a good idea going forward so that you do not panic as much and you can see he has got to work ok?

But if something bad did happen and he'd had a medical emergency or accident the emergency responders would have his ID, and would contact his next if kin and if something happened at work they would contact you too

Why were you trying to contact him initially?

During therapy, were you given exercises to help cope with your anxiety? What are they and have you tried doing any of them today?

No but you can recognise it’s disproportionate and sit with the feeling rather than keep checking on him/messaging.

You’re fuelling your own anxiety by trying to contact him when you don’t need to. You must know that it isn’t sensible or useful to try to contact him for no reason, knowing that you’ll panic if he doesn’t reply. And there’s no reason why he should read your messages or reply to them when he’s at work. I don’t keep checking my phone for personal messages at work, I’m busy and I’m at work! If there was a really dire emergency, my husband would call me and I’d know it was an emergency. If he couldn’t get through, he’d call my employer’s number and ask for someone to contact me. What you’re doing isn’t anything like this. You have severe anxiety which causes your need to check up on him.

This must feel quite suffocating for him. If you can’t train yourself to leave him alone during working hours, I suggest that you get specific professional help with this problem.

Not sure if this would help your anxiety worse OP, but me and my DH use the life 360 app (free). It just means we can see when the other has reaches work safely, when they’re on the way back home, if their phone is dying etc. Just handy for us to use.

And this is exactly why we never call or text each other our whereabouts (or at all, unless emergency) during the day. My partner is an adult male who managed to get himself places unharmed for 40+ years before we met. I am sure your husband is equally capable. Adults don't need to text each other that they made it off the train and into the office and it avoids these exact scenarios.

Do you have a EAP at work that you can call for some emotional support?

I'm sorry you have gotten yourself worked up about this.

You need to try and talk to yourself that he's fine and safe and at work and will be in touch later. Does he normally check-in during the day or is it usual just to see him when he gets home?

There is nothing happening near you or him to give you cause for concern just now. You know it's just you worrying so try and distract yourself and stop checking your phone for ticks. Until you do you are feeding your anxiety.

I have this type of anxiety too. One thing I have learned is not to keep on trying to contact, because everytime there is no reply my anxiety ratchets up a notch. Try to leave your phone in another room and don't keep messaging and checking. I think you would have heard by now if anything untoward had happened.

No, she needs to wean herself of the contact not find ways to do it nefariously!

Why are you messaging? Surely he's just at work getting on with his day?

I’m sorry you’re struggling with this anxiety right now. That such a tragic loss happened with your sister’s boyfriend does explain a lot about the roots of it but you do need ways to calm that panic response down.

Do you have any practical coping tools aside from antidepressants? Breathing techniques, distraction and things to calm your body when the panic hits?

You can’t just stop feeling this way, but it is on YOU to manage your feelings. It’s not your DH’s job to be permanently available or constantly ready to appease your worries.

I say this as someone with serious anxiety. While your partner is working his focus needs to be on work, he is allowed that. He will obviously care and do everything he can to quell your concerns but he can’t feel he is constantly being supervised and mithered. It’s just not fair and not conducive to a healthy working environment for him.

That's a really nasty and judgemental way of putting it.

What are the 'worst case scenarios' that you are thinking of?