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Original poster

Worrying not heard from husband

129 replies

Polkadotbabushka · 09/01/2025 10:43

So I used to be a bad worrier and have been a lot better lately. However my husband left for work at 7am and got the train near us. He text at 710 so knew he was on the train. Now I can’t get hold of him. The WhatsApp’s are going through with one tick. He hasn’t been online. He isn’t answering when I phone. I’ve emailed him at work and no reply. Now he could be in a meeting without his phone.
He would arrive at work at around 830/845 as it’s about a mile walk from the station.. and it’s about an hours drive away from me at work.

Now I am panicking as his phone just rings. And WhatsApp are still on grey. He could be in a meeting without his phone which isn’t unusual but I don’t know what to do if I don’t hear from him. I can’t relax. All sorts of horrible scenarios have gone through my head and I have horrible anxiety stomach ache!

OP posts:
Velvian · 09/01/2025 10:45

I'm sure he is fine. Don't contact again as he will see your messages and missed call when he is able to look at his phone.

Leave it another hour and try his workplace landline.

FrenchandSaunders · 09/01/2025 10:47

Have you had help with this?

GentlyAnarchistic · 09/01/2025 10:47

Would he be aware how badly this would cause you anxiety? It can be overwhelming to have someone watching so closely your every move.

Scutterbug · 09/01/2025 10:47

Oh goodness, are you getting any help for your anxiety?

Leave it another hour and then call again if needs be, I’m sure he is in a meeting and can’t answer his phone at the moment x

Tiswa · 09/01/2025 10:47

the simplest explanation is often the right one. He is working and in a meeting

where you expecting a text or something from him this all seems a lot

User457788 · 09/01/2025 10:47

Oh wow I'm not sure your worrying has got better. What are you up to? Do you work or have anywhere to be? I think it's potentially because you're just sat there doing nothing that you're over thinking this? This must be exhausting for your husband. How do you usually manage your anxiety in this sort of instance?

JimHalpertsWife · 09/01/2025 10:48

Do you often hear from him during the working day? I hear less from my dcs making their own way to school and back than this! I couldn't imagine me and dh having to update each other on movements during a standard working day.

Anotherfrozenpizzafortea · 09/01/2025 10:48

Jeeez - I don't hear from mine from the moment he leaves home until he gets back most days - there are a hundred reasons why your dh might not be answering his phone.

You really do need help for your anxiety op.

Original poster
Polkadotbabushka · 09/01/2025 10:49

Oh I’d been so much better and had therapy and am on medication but I am perimenopausal and now it seems to be coming back! I think it’s because I can usually contact him and now I can’t I just can’t relax! Telling myself a meeting is most likely and he will see my messages and realise I’ve spiraled again!

OP posts:
luckylavender · 09/01/2025 10:51

He's at work. Why do you need to be in constant contact?

Curtainqueen · 09/01/2025 10:52

With kindness this would be way too much for me. I'd probably put you on do not disturb as I just wouldn't ever get anything done with all the constant ringing and texting. Have you ever looked into getting help with this? It really isn't healthy bombarding people like this.

Original poster
Polkadotbabushka · 09/01/2025 10:52

luckylavender · 09/01/2025 10:51

He's at work. Why do you need to be in constant contact?

I don’t but now I can’t contact him it’s worried me! I can’t make the feeling just disappear!

OP posts:
MatchyMatchyGlasses · 09/01/2025 10:52

Why do you need to contact him?

I agree with others and you should seek help for this. Do you work, OP?

User457788 · 09/01/2025 10:53

Polkadotbabushka · 09/01/2025 10:52

I don’t but now I can’t contact him it’s worried me! I can’t make the feeling just disappear!

Show quote history

Can you busy yourself with something else? Do you work?

BleachedJumper · 09/01/2025 10:54

I was also going to ask if you work op? Your life sounds very small, which really isn’t going to help.

Original poster
Polkadotbabushka · 09/01/2025 10:54

As per my above message! I do work and am at work now but can’t relax! I know this is a lot, I know this isn’t normal but can’t talk myself down and am assuming something bad which is bloody ridiculous I am well aware! It’s more the fact his WhatsApp’s are on one tick but phone is ringing. Not sure what that happens? He knows I used to be very anxious and wouldn’t do it intentionally or ignore me because I was being annoying as this hasn’t happened in a long time!

OP posts:
JimHalpertsWife · 09/01/2025 10:56

1 tick WhatsApp but line is ringing means he has no Internet but does have his phone on. And is unavailable.

LostMyLanyard · 09/01/2025 10:57

Goodness! He's at work OP 🤦‍♀️

I'm not sure that you are 'much better' to be honest with you! This level of anxiety is extreme...hats off to your husband though, as is not be able to live with someone who spiralled just because I was busy at work and not answering your non-urgent messages and phone calls.

Please go back to your GP or therapist, today if you can, as whatever they are doing for you currently, definitely isn't working.

Nursemumma92 · 09/01/2025 10:57

He could be in a meeting with no data or the WiFi down? Are you calling on WhatsApp or just a regular call? Asking because when you call via WhatsApp it will ring regardless of whether it has connected the call the other number so could be ringing but actually it's just trying to connect and hasn't because there is no data/WiFi. Hope you hear from him soon, there are many scenarios more likely than him having come to harm.

BleachedJumper · 09/01/2025 10:58

I think only you can control your actions. Don’t make any further contact; when he’s available he will see you’ve been in touch and respond.

PinkyFlamingo · 09/01/2025 10:58

Polkadotbabushka · 09/01/2025 10:52

I don’t but now I can’t contact him it’s worried me! I can’t make the feeling just disappear!

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So why did you try to contact him, instead of just getting on with your day?

JimHalpertsWife · 09/01/2025 10:59

You need to go back to your GP.

Wildwalksinjanuary · 09/01/2025 11:00

You need a med review op. This is very important, a few hours of being out of contact shouldn’t create such a spiral of fear and panic. He is an adult, and completely fine. Of course he is.

gamerchick · 09/01/2025 11:00

Polkadotbabushka · 09/01/2025 10:52

I don’t but now I can’t contact him it’s worried me! I can’t make the feeling just disappear!

Show quote history

Was there a reason you needed to contact him though? Is it an emergency that nobody but him can help you with?

He knows you're trying to get in touch. Let him get back to you.

Original poster
Polkadotbabushka · 09/01/2025 11:00

Thanks for the helpful replies but people saying just get on with your day.. I am trying! I am not enjoying this feeling trust me! I physically feel unwell worrying! I am well aware it is stupid. As I said before I was worrying my usual antidepressants hadn’t been working for a while and my hormones are all over the place so I do have a gp appt soon.

I called via WhatsApp and normally plus emailed at work but if he’s in a meeting he won’t reply to any so I am trying to tell myself that’s the reason. I wish the horrible worse case scenarios wouldn’t come to the forefront of my mind!!

OP posts: