Non-binary colleague using disabled toilet

I would much prefer they used the accessible toilet.

So many posts on mumsnet complain out biomen using female toilets. Surely this is the sensible and reasonable action.

@nellythe trying to link anxiety to needing to use a bathroom designed for physical disabilities is an almighty stretch.

That's where we differ. I don't see disabilities as limited to those that are physical - whatever that means.

Exactly this. I have mobility issues (I have mentioned it a couple of times on a couple of threads, just not this one yet as it's nobody's business,) but it's relevant now.

I don't mind non binary people, or people who are male, or female, or transgender using the disabled toilet at all.. I agree with a pp that these toilets are there so people who need them can use them, but it shouldn't be LAW that no-one else can. You don't know what conditions people have. How rude to assume that ANYone who uses the disabled loo doesn't NEED it. Have you never heard of 'invisible disabilities?'

Also, regarding what someone said about how they 'find it hard enough to find a disabled public toilet before they shit themselves (!) never mind able bodied people using it.' What on earth do these individuals do when someone ELSE (disabled) who needs to use the toilet is occupying it, and you need it so desperately.?! What's the difference! You still can't use it if someone else is in it!

Such a silly point to make.

And as for the people who are so angry about non-binary people using the disabled loo, how do you know the non binary person doesn't have a disability? Such ignorance!

.

Have you read the thread? Lots of posts from disabled people explaining how ableist this pov is and why it isn't the solution.

Exactly this. I have mobility issues (I have mentioned it a couple of times on a couple of threads, just not this one yet as it's nobody's business,) but it's relevant now.

I don't mind non binary people, or people who are male, or female, or transgender using the disabled toilet at all.. I agree with a pp that these toilets are there so people who need them can use them, but it shouldn't be LAW that no-one else can. You don't know what conditions people have. How rude to assume that ANYone who uses the disabled loo doesn't NEED it. Have you never heard of 'invisible disabilities?'

Also, regarding what someone said about how they 'find it hard enough to find a disabled public toilet before they shit themselves (!) never mind able bodied people using it.' What on earth do these individuals do when someone ELSE (disabled) who needs to use the toilet is occupying it, and you need it so desperately.?! What's the difference! You still can't use it if someone else is in it!

Such a silly point to make.

And as for the people who are so angry about non-binary people using the disabled loo, how do you know the non binary person doesn't have a disability? Such ignorance!

.

Maybe instead I would suggest to management that you make the work place more inclusive, remove the male/female on the single occupancy toilets and just make them unisex! Simple! Problem solved

It’s a single stall though? No multiple occupancy! So literally one person per whole toilet area. Surely one quick change of a sign solves everything. I agree if it’s a multiple occupancy then make and female toilets are important

It’s a single stall though? No multiple occupancy! So literally one person per whole toilet area. Surely one quick change of a sign solves everything. I agree if it’s a multiple occupancy then make and female toilets are important

Exactly this. I have mobility issues (I have mentioned it a couple of times on a couple of threads, just not this one yet as it's nobody's business,) but it's relevant now.

I don't mind non binary people, or people who are male, or female, or transgender using the disabled toilet at all.. I agree with a pp that these toilets are there so people who need them can use them, but it shouldn't be LAW that no-one else can. You don't know what conditions people have. How rude to assume that ANYone who uses the disabled loo doesn't NEED it. Have you never heard of 'invisible disabilities?'

Also, regarding what someone said about how they 'find it hard enough to find a disabled public toilet before they shit themselves (!) never mind able bodied people using it.' What on earth do these individuals do when someone ELSE (disabled) who needs to use the toilet is occupying it, and you need it so desperately.?! What's the difference! You still can't use it if someone else is in it!

Such a silly point to make.

And as for the people who are so angry about non-binary people using the disabled loo, how do you know the non binary person doesn't have a disability? Such ignorance!

.

Even where its single occupancy stalls, people often have a preference for exclusive use by one sex. Many women complain that the hygiene standards drop when men use the facilities. Seats up, urine on the floor, bad smells etc. You may of course dispute this, say they are wrong, women are just as bad, this hasn't been your experience, but that's how some women (and men) feel. And this is a debate where peoples feelings are being placed front and centre, are being used as the sole reason for a need for adaptations and special treatment. Why does this apply only to the feelings of the NB person?

Even where its single occupancy stalls, people often have a preference for exclusive use by one sex. Many women complain that the hygiene standards drop when men use the facilities. Seats up, urine on the floor, bad smells etc. You may of course dispute this, say they are wrong, women are just as bad, this hasn't been your experience, but that's how some women (and men) feel. And this is a debate where peoples feelings are being placed front and centre, are being used as the sole reason for a need for adaptations and special treatment. Why does this apply only to the feelings of the NB person?

It’s a single stall though? No multiple occupancy! So literally one person per whole toilet area. Surely one quick change of a sign solves everything. I agree if it’s a multiple occupancy then make and female toilets are important

You get that disabled people don't get this preference right? And by and large it's not an issue.

Just because someone's disabled, it doesn't mean they have the right to never have to wait for a toilet.

I find this argument bizarre - that disabled toilets should always be kept unoccupied just incase a disabled person wants to use it, as they can't be expected to wait. Why ever not? The rest of us are expected to.

As such, I don't see the issue. It's not as if the colleague in question is spending hours in the toilet.

As another poster has said, at my work (also teaching), we all use whatever staff toilets are free - male, female, disabled, whatever - if the appropriately gendered one is occupied, because we don't have time to wait between lessons. I do the same in public. I will use the male toilet if the female one is occupied or the queue is too long - and I quite happily tell the men in the male toilets why I'm doing so. Why should I have to wait forever to use the toilet because male architects still haven't worked out in 2024 that women take longer to go to the toilet than men and are often accompanying small children, so we need more toilet facilities than them? The pearl clutching of women claiming that trans/non binary men using women's toilets leads to more risks of assaults is ridiculous. It's not backed up by any statistics and the reality is, a man can walk into a female public toilet any time he likes anyway.

This is actually about you not liking the fact that your colleague identifies as non binary. Get over it. Live and let live, and use whatever bloody toilet you like. The more of us who did this, the less of our lives we'd waste waiting for a ladies loo!

The question is not about what disabilities are limited to, but the appropriateness of using facilities adapted for people with physical disabilities when you don't have those physical disabilities.

All this for one person. That's how all single sex facilities - wards, prisons, toilets, even sporting teams have gone. One person is triggered by their own birth sex so we all have to accommodate them..and that's exactly what has happened. It's not a simple or logical solution, it's a proven slippery slope.

So is being non binary a disability then? A mental health condition? Seems like it is. Isn't that a bit transphobic?

It really really is when people like you peddle your dangerous ill informed nonsense. You said it.

Many people have a preference for two toilets being available which would be the case if they can both be used by men an women, especially in the workplace. If the men I worked with started leaving urine on the floor it would be a huge issue regardless of whether the toilets are single sex. Why should someone's preference for single sex toilets trump other people's preference to have more than one toilet available at work?

Maybe having single sex toilets in the work place is just for one person. Do we know that anyone,(other than OP) wants the two toilet cubicles to be designated Male and female? Perhaps other people would prefer two toilets to be available ,to everyone rather than one.

What do you think I do? If I can't find another toilet very quickly then I go straight home with soiled clothing. It's embarrassing and humiliating. A normal cubicle doesn't have the room for my crutches, and I struggle to get up from the toilet without the grab bar that's in accessible toilets. Not having a hand basin in there can stop me from being able to clean myself properly too.

The level of selfishness shown by some people on this thread is astonishing, I can't believe that so many people have so little empathy.

Maybe having single sex toilets in the work place is just for one person. Do we know that anyone,(other than OP) wants the two toilet cubicles to be designated Male and female? Perhaps other people would prefer two toilets to be available ,to everyone rather than one.