Non-binary colleague using disabled toilet

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle lol, there's no need to be so rude. You yourself said you do not have a disability, that's why I am baffled as to the lack of a "cast iron" reason. I have many friends who are not chair users like myself but who need to use them despite being ambulant because for example they have severe Crohn's. As I said, I wasn't asking you for any details but merely some general suggestion of what, that is not a disability, could possibly qualify. I guess I'm forced to conclude you are not disabled and just exploiting our resource.

No one owes you an explanation for why they may prefer to use an accessible toilet. Quite right you don’t share your own experiences as they are irrelevant. You can not demand priority access to something that is for everyone.

This. But on the basis that this is a biological man we're talking about I'd much rather they use the disabled loo than try to enter the womens.

Every human being in the world bar a tiny handful people with very rare disorders of sexual development knows their own sex. Many of those who claim to have a gender identity different to their natal sex do have mental health problems. The mess we're in now is because they don't get treatment for those pre-existing conditions and are told or decide that the answer to all their problems is to identify as something other than their birth sex. None of this justifies using a customer toilet designed for people with disabilities and for babychanging when a self-contained cubicle is available for employees.

Again, there have been many studies looking at the way gender is expressed in different societies - Native American Two-Spirit for instance, or the khawajasira of medieval India.

I’m not actually expressing a view here, just pointing out that it’s inaccurate to say non binary identities are a new phenomenon.

@Why can't people discuss this topic without you accusing them of transphobia? You yourself are showing a fair degree of ableism but I only mention it now that you are starting to unfairly attack others. There are many people sharing views on this thread and I don't think your accusation is warranted.

Do you just like to create posts about disabled toilets OP?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5229706-to-be-annoyed-at-being-told-to-be-considerate-of-disabled-people?postsby=DefendingPan

This is @DaphneduMaureen it just didn't tag right the first time.

No, it's a customer disabled toilet. See the OP.

You care enough to complain to your boss about this... I think them using the disabled loo is most appropriate, and they will hardly be in there ages. I feel sorry for your non binary colleague having to deal with such petty judgements against them.

@Mrswhatsit40 Please don't sacrifice disabled people's loo access to deal with an issue. That is very unfair.

They are not disabled. How is that appropriate?

personally i dont see how it matters, toilet is a toilet, ive used car showrooms and its just one toilet with no symbols for intended persons etc

What you mean is that societies that enforce strong, regressive and misogynistic, gender roles have always had people who rebel against those roles. And in some societies this is formalised by having mechanism for those of one sex to opt out of those restrictive roles into another role, whilst also recognising their sex. These enabled the harmful exploitation of women through strong gendered demands on their behaviour to continue.

Sex is why women are oppressed, gender is how they are oppressed.

So you're ok with someone using the wrong sex allocated toilet but not with this person using the disabled. Unless there's a queue of disabled staff waiting for them due to this, then you're being a dick. And I say that as a GC person.

Would not suggest OP get militant about a plastic sign on a toilet door and lose their job, get overlooked for promotion etc after being accused of “discrimination” it’s just not worth it.

Some times need to just get along … leave the “uncomfortable” person to their own toilet issues.

Thats hard to do because we live in a particularly binary society - in fact I think things have got more prescriptive in terms of how we express our gender identity than even 30 years ago.
It’s an interesting field though, looking at whether gender is innate or learned. There’s so much we don’t yet know.

It would piss me off as well OP, but I couldn't be bothered to get in a tizz at work over it, unless you end up with a queue of disabled people waiting outside for the self proclaimed special person to finish their business.

But you can’t define non-binary.

Mind your own business.

I use the disabled toilet at work as it's cleaner and provides more privacy as do many others.
It's no issue at all!

@DaphneduMaureen It may be convenient for you to disregard the entire history of disabled toilets but sorry, that history still exists! And it is simply factual reality that some people need them more than others, and that they are actually, legally FOR disabled people, not wish washy "accessible". You just have to accept that.

Sneaking into the wrong sex loo isn’t a big deal if you are clear on your sex/gender.

I think if you have grown up questioning yourself or struggling to come to terms with who you are and where you fit it, those little door signs will take on a level of significance and have quite an impact on you.

I agree with your colleague having the radar key. It is a small kindness to make somebody’s life more comfortable.

It is an issue. It's very wrong for you to do it, even if you're getting away with it.

Transmen are biologically female.
Transwomen are biologically male.

They are still the same sex they had at birth. It really isnt that difficult to understand.

Many people have hidden disabilities that they would rather not disclose to all and sundry. Your colleague may be one of them. Would you be so outraged if this person was heterosexual?