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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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BlackJacktheDog · 21/11/2024 08:53

1dayatatime · 21/11/2024 08:33

Personally I think the Captain Tom saga is a perfect metaphor for the whole Covid response:

A very large number of ordinary well meaning but naive people do the decent thing (being following the rules, believe the government information etc) only to be taken advantage off by those that were already well off or knew that the rules were ineffective (for example Partygate or PPE scandals).

I genuinely think that this has left an undercurrent of resentment and anger in the UK.

Totally agree with this.

I think it had a significant and damaging effect on the way people view the world, view politics, view charities and view each other.

Damn them all - the Thénardiers Ingram-Moores as much as any of them for grabbing fistfuls of cash at the expense of other people's welfare.

Cattyisbatty · 21/11/2024 08:52

From what I understand the actual fundraiser - the walk - was leigitimate and all the money went to NHS charities which was great. I donated at the time.

It's everything else since then that has been dodgy and the family (not Tom I hope), knew exactly what they were doing. Greed begets greed.

Bruisername · 21/11/2024 08:48

I think it will come down to whether they have crossed a legal line.

so with the book - was it just an impression that the money would go to charity or does it cross the threshold into fraud

so did Hannah and her husband take the whole lot? Or did it go to ‘family’?

dottiedodah · 21/11/2024 08:47

Is there no redress then? If she has been dishonest, and has been using funds dishonestly. Is there not charges to face.this same week 2 former girl guide leaders had been jailed for misappropriation of funds for their guide group.

Mizzarde · 21/11/2024 08:44

LittleRedY0shi · 21/11/2024 08:01

On the money vs reputation thing, right now they still seem to be trying to have their cake and eat it!

"In a statement, the Ingram-Moores said they were treated "unfairly and unjustly" in the report.
They said the two-year inquiry has taken a "serious toll" on the family's health, "unfairly tarnishing" their name.
They described the process as "unjust and excessive" and that the charities watchdog had a "predetermined agenda"."

Yes, there's the slimy PR training coming out right there. DARVO in action.

Lots of fake indignation and vague negative insinuations about the findings of the charity watchdog... but without actually saying that the findings were wrong or that the family didn't misappropriate the money!

Yes, of course there was a "predetermined agenda." The agenda was to investigate and find out what happened. That's the watchdog's job! And they did it, and they found out the truth about the dishonest, thieving bastards. And strangely enough the dishonest, thieving bastards don't like it.

randomflumpsy · 21/11/2024 08:42

Might sound cynical but I suspect most high profile stunts aren't altruistic at heart. It's the people who quietly and consistently get on with fund raising/ volunteering/ helping others without needing to be in the limelight who are the real heroes

I agree. Obviously we have no idea if Tom was in on it or not but its certainly possible, and the idea that is old so therefore he must have had innocent/pure motives is ludicrous.

It was sickening the way people were castigated and berated when they expressed concerns about it- so many hateful responses from others about how if you didnt donate or support them you were awful, cruel, un kind, hated the elderly etc

Parutte · 21/11/2024 08:41

He will never be thought of as that benevolent old man

A well placed friend told me that Captain Tom took out a super injunction against a newspaper. I thought he loved the limelight. He was a contestant on blankety blank. Surely you only willingly appear on tv if you like attention? His daughter got her brass neck from somewhere

1dayatatime · 21/11/2024 08:40

@VegTrug

"Lockdowns were not “designed” for that at all! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣 Grow up! You sound like a teenage conspiracy theorist"

I agree lockdowns were not "designed " for that but the reality is that the level of fraud that took place was off the scale from bounce back loans to PPE contracts to eat out to help out.

So clearly whilst the design of the lockdown measures was not to make the rich richer the actual outcome was exactly this.

Ivyn · 21/11/2024 08:38

I suspect most high profile stunts aren't altruistic at heart. It's the people who quietly and consistently get on with fund raising/ volunteering/ helping others without needing to be in the limelight who are the real heroes

I agree.

lolly792 · 21/11/2024 08:37

The whole greedy story leaves me wondering whether Captain Tom genuinely was a harmless elderly man who was manipulated by his daughter or whether he was seeking publicity and all the trappings right from the get go. It's sad that we have to wonder about that - he's tainted by the whole scandal.

It certainly felt off to me, and sadly a lot of this type of thing is performative. People see an opportunity and jump at it, other people get suckered in and it goes crazy.

Might sound cynical but I suspect most high profile stunts aren't altruistic at heart. It's the people who quietly and consistently get on with fund raising/ volunteering/ helping others without needing to be in the limelight who are the real heroes

Ivyn · 21/11/2024 08:36

Not surprised at all.

I remember wanting to vomit seeing her waving to the crowds at Wimbledon like she was royalty or something.

Captain Tom's daughter
1dayatatime · 21/11/2024 08:33

Personally I think the Captain Tom saga is a perfect metaphor for the whole Covid response:

A very large number of ordinary well meaning but naive people do the decent thing (being following the rules, believe the government information etc) only to be taken advantage off by those that were already well off or knew that the rules were ineffective (for example Partygate or PPE scandals).

I genuinely think that this has left an undercurrent of resentment and anger in the UK.

fedup33 · 21/11/2024 08:32

If Captain had been some guy on an estate it wouldn't have gained traction.

Can you imagine it Jimmy from number 17 walks around the garden " for the NHS"

Rich get richer.

Useofstirm · 21/11/2024 08:30

VegTrug · 21/11/2024 08:27

Lockdowns were not “designed” for that at all! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣 Grow up! You sound like a teenage conspiracy theorist

Totally agree!

Moonlitwalk · 21/11/2024 08:29

Bruisername · 21/11/2024 08:28

You can look at their accounts which should be online (if you can’t find or they haven’t filed then that’s a red flag)- Google the main people- look at reviews - consider small charities that are local where you can see how they are doing - charities linked to things you know

Thank you - thats good advice

Isthisrightandlegal · 21/11/2024 08:28

This won’t be an isolated case when it comes to some people making a profit from a charity it’s something that needs looking at in general . Maybe this case will be the catalyst

Bruisername · 21/11/2024 08:28

Moonlitwalk · 21/11/2024 08:23

It’s always important to understand what you are donating to

I agree, but how would someone check this? I am not sure a search on companies house would show fraud would it if the idea is to cover it up

You can look at their accounts which should be online (if you can’t find or they haven’t filed then that’s a red flag)- Google the main people- look at reviews - consider small charities that are local where you can see how they are doing - charities linked to things you know

VegTrug · 21/11/2024 08:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lockdowns were not “designed” for that at all! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣 Grow up! You sound like a teenage conspiracy theorist

Useofstirm · 21/11/2024 08:27

Oreyt · 21/11/2024 08:03

@DoublePasta

I thought the poster meant Covid wasn't a hoax?

I did yes

Fireworknight · 21/11/2024 08:26

I remember thinking something wasn’t right when he went to Barbados.

As others have said, the original walk was legit, it’s the later foundation that was dodgy..

Thisbastardcomputer · 21/11/2024 08:25

I thought it was telling that his other daughter kept a low profile, Hannah made it all about her and portraying her dad as a saint. I'm very happy it's been uncovered and their reputation is in shreds, I saw the criticism of her keeping the appearance money and the neighbours having a fit over the spa building, which lead to finding out the planning was in the name of the foundation.

Moonlitwalk · 21/11/2024 08:23

It’s always important to understand what you are donating to

I agree, but how would someone check this? I am not sure a search on companies house would show fraud would it if the idea is to cover it up

Bruisername · 21/11/2024 08:21

LlynTegid · 21/11/2024 08:18

In a way I agree, charitable giving is damaged by every such scandal, even though most charities and people who work/support them are decent and honourable people.

It’s always important to understand what you are donating to.

a few years back I heard of a charity that sent a product to war zones. All well and good until the accounts showed they were buying the products from a company they privately owned at inflated prices. They were struck off the charity register a few years later as it turns out.

its important to remember that the original walk charity payments went to an existing charity and you could say he captured the moment and drew attention to that. The issue raised here is around the fundraising done later

quantumbutterfly · 21/11/2024 08:19

Choux · 21/11/2024 08:04

It did indeed seem like a very ill-judged decision to take him abroad... but I don't know if it's particularly justified to say that he died FROM covid, with the implication that he would have lived for many more happy years had he not caught it - the man was 100.

He was 100 but fit enough to walk in his garden and travel long haul to Barbados and looked happy and well in the pictures released. But he was taken to Barbados in a pandemic which was killing mainly elderly people and was in a plane and airport close to hundreds of strangers. Then he got it and died. I would imagine Covid is listed on his death certificate.

I hope he understood the risks of going to Barbados and went willingly. It could be he was told by his daughter they were going and he had little choice in the matter as the family all wanted to go and it wasn't possible unless he acquiesced.

You would imagine or you are imagining?

LlynTegid · 21/11/2024 08:18

Bruisername · 21/11/2024 08:04

I wonder what this has done to other family relationships - he had other children didn’t he?

this to me is another nail in the coffin of charity culture - the charity commission do very little checks before you register so you should always do your own due diligence before donating. And big charities, as a pp said, have had some awful scandals. plus the fact the paternalistic charity model just doesn’t work long term in poorer countries

In a way I agree, charitable giving is damaged by every such scandal, even though most charities and people who work/support them are decent and honourable people.