Thinking it’s weird that his 18 year old will have the master room

Children can’t move out so easily and quickly these days with high rent and property prices, cost of living etc. To expect them to do what previous generations did is unfair and the game isn’t the same. To move out at 18 without financial help of some kind would be quite extraordinary.

🤣

I've never had a walk in wardrobe in my life. Oh the horror of putting my clothes in a wardrobe likethe majority of the population.

Where will Anastacia and Drizella sleep?

You’re really announcing your arrival suggesting that OP! I’d back off if i were you.
My teenagers spend nearly all their time in their rooms when they are home, unless you're planning on camping in the bedroom like a teenager, yabu, particularly if the next best room is nearly as good.

OP, are you sure this is wise? What is happening with the proceeds from your house? You do realise as you're not married you have no rights over this house of his?

I would have a lot of respect for a man who, living alone with a teenage daughter, chose to give her the dignity and privacy of her own space for washing and dressing. He is clearly thoughtful and caring of his child, and I would admire that, rather than trying to overturn a sensible living arrangement.

18 year olds are adults

Respect is earned, not demanded

The dad has made the decision that to help his child soar, she needs a dedicated space at home that offers her independence and ownership. That's his decision to make. Not yours, not OPs.

There is no "should" when it comes to which room works best in a family home.

Dd SHOULD be on her way out! For heaven's sake. At 18-19 ALL my kids had jobs, were in university (or military service), so busy we rarely crossed paths; as it should be.

Do you think you're the parental goal we should all be aiming for or something? Everything you've done is perfect and we should all strive to match it?

Christ alive, talk about arrogance.

He claims it’s because she uses her room more and he only really sleeps in his. He also has an office where as she has to study from her room too. It’s odd to me but whatever I guess!

That sounds entirely reasonable and practical to me. It would get things off to a very bad start if you moved in and DD is expected to move out her bedroom for you. It sounds a plenty big enough house and bedrooms for all of you, without anyone having to swap rooms.

He claims it’s because she uses her room more and he only really sleeps in his. He also has an office where as she has to study from her room too. It’s odd to me but whatever I guess!

Nothing odd about that at all, makes perfect sense.

Most people cope fine without a dressing room, and you've got other places to store your clothes anyway. You're being ridiculous and territorial, oh and unreasonable too.

At 18 I was at college doing my A'levels, there was no way I could move out. In fact I didn't move out until I was 30 when I had saved enough money to buy somewhere and after university (which I didnt start until 25)

This is outdated. Young people today are not on the even playing field people had before. Inter-generational is becoming so much more prevelant out of necessity. Good luck to any 18 year old single adult looking to rent/buy their first home on not even a graduates salary. Yes there’s university but even that is becoming less attractive to young people these days.

It's not how I'd have chosen to arrange things, but that's how they've been doing things and it would be massively unfair, plus cause strife from the get-go, if you insisted on this. You've been offered an entire room for your clothes, I'd just take it. Maybe when the daughter eventually moves out you can switch around.

Your whole attitude to this is a massive red flag “He claims…” implies that you don’t believe it necessary. If I were in your shoes the thought wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. I’d be keen to tread as carefully as possible so that the daughter didn’t feel put out in what was her home first.
if you think he should prioritise you over his daughter I think you should end this relationship

The DD is going to university. And she probably has the room with the ensuite so she can be independent.

Many DC who go away to university move back into the family home after completing their degree.

Unless your DC are now in their very early 20s, what happened to your DC is irrelevant - the cost of living has soared. Most can't afford to live independently without significant family help or time to save.

Mother's day must be fun

Sheri99 · Today 08:50
Dd SHOULD be on her way out! For heaven's sake. At 18-19 ALL my kids had jobs, were in university (or military service), so busy we rarely crossed paths; as it should be.

Every family is different. There is no ‘as it should be’. The world is ever changing, finances are more of a consideration and not every kid goes to uni or if they do, can afford to leave home to do so. Life after school is not a prescriptive, one or two sizes fits all scenario.

@grizzleGrazzle dont sell your home! It is your asset. What happens if the relationship breaks down?

It's not like that anymore - it's normal for kids to come back home and save till they have enough of a deposit to buy - this is especially true in London.
However bitter experience has taught me - they may be officially adults but they live in your house and they can get a little overconfident and entitled about their rights in your house - rules are essential - everyone needs to understand their place and I would not be encouraging an 18-year-old to believe they come before everyone else in the family.

Quite! Most 18 year olds are living at home, even if it's just in the university holidays or whatever.
Imagine thinking an 18 year old should be "on her way out"!
It's her home.

If it were a new home, yes very odd!
but you’re moving into their home. An existing home. This is already her room. Don’t start by kicking her out her room. That’s totally not ok.
for you it’s new, so you’re thinking differently, but you have to consider the other perspective

😂😂

My parents left me the master bedroom as a teen so I can understand the logic. I was spending much more time there than them, they didn't really care.
I can also understand that you would want the space, and since she's not even here full time it's not unreasonable to want to swap... but really you can't just move into their house and make big changes like this.
Give it a bit of time or buy a house together - the latter is probably the best way forward IMO.

Hang on to your own house, OP. You'll need it soon because I think he's going to see you in a new light once he has to live with you.