To go pick brother up? Released from prison

Just to add another point someone made about sense of purpose.

I work in leisure and we've started wellness programmes with gp referrals of which for your brother could be made through addiction and mental illness, which will give him access to free gym membership over 12 weeks to get him on his feet and start to create new weekly habits away from THE Habit.

Highly suggest you look in your area through a GP of what he can receive.

I’d try but I’d also protect myself. I’ve also lost a brother to drug use and his behaviour (when he was using) was awful.

I'm afraid he may well have stopped off somewhere to score. If prisoners aren't closely supervised on release before attending their community drug team appointments it's unfortunately what they do.

The methadone script is the reason I asked about an appointment with drug services on release. The prison should have arranged this and it will be helpful if you can accompany him to the appointment to ensure that he attends. I'm surprised drug intervention services aren't collecting him on release. I worked in drug intervention and offender management for years.

Equally, if the plan fails and he goes back to using, you must "forgive" yourself (although in reality you will have nothing to be forgiven).
Don't start thinking "If only I'd tried harder, had a better plan... it must be my fault."
It will not be your fault. You must remember this.

You can only try, ignore DH 💐

I can see your husbands point of view as well, as your young children are your priority not a grown man. But I also see your point of view and you are not only supporting your brother but your mum as well.

Just remember you shouldn't be putting in more work on your brothers sobriety than your brother, don't spend any money that allows him to have extra money that he could be tempted to spend on drugs. Your brother is capable of getting a passport himself, you could help him by sitting with him while he fills out the form but you don't need to pay for it if he has any cash. He can look up NA meetings, sure you can drive him there if he doesn't drive but he should be the one being proactive in locating them.

Are you booking somewhere for as soon as he gets out? Be very careful with your expectations OP, I can see your heart is in the right place but just remember you can control or change him, just support x

If you are able to and want to then why not? As others have said it may work it may not but least you know you've done all you possibly can.

I'm sorry for you loss and I hope your brother is able to turn his life around addiction is a horrible thing

You will have other times with your children and hopefully enough money to get by for a few weeks. There may never be another window of hope and opportunity with your brother. You are doing something wonderful that might end up being life changing for him. It might not, but the downsides of trying are far less than the downsides of not trying.

I think that spending this time with him and your mum will never be a waste of time whatever happens after that OP.

It might work, hopefully he wants it enough. If it doesn't then at least you will always know you tried your best.

It might work, it might not, but he’s got more chance of succeeding if he sees how much you care about him.

You could look up NA meetings and other recovery support or outreach groups for prisoners in your areas while you're at it. You can't single-handedly rescue him. But it's nice of you to give him some care and comfort and encouragement.

I think this is what you need to tell your DH.

Im guessing your DH has probably seen you/MIL very distressed by his actions and wants to protect you.

Its natural to want to protect the people you love, but if you didn't try & DB went off the rails you'd feel like shit & your DH should acknowledge that.

Maybe put some boundaries in place? A timescale/cost, behaviours that won't be tolerated, no lending money, whether he can be around your kids etc. and maybe DH will be more accepting?

Does he have an appointment with a drug recovery service set up?

Is he open to going to something like CA or NA for support meetings? And doing the 12 steps. Did they offer anything like this in prison, I know some do.
I think what you want to do is lovely. And as others have said, for yourself you have to know you've tried.
Good luck with it all xxx

He needs therapy, a goal and someone to walk him through this. Very hard. But he needs to want to stop

Why is your husband so against it OP? Do you have young children? What was your brother like towards your family before he went inside? Is your husband worried about your expectations or does he just not believe in your brothers recovery?

I think people need all the support they can get, but ultimately he has to want it. I really hope with your support and your mums he can make it. I'm sorry for the loss of your other brother x

You sound amazing and I echo other posters in their support of you. Ignore DH. It isn't HIS brother. Same as if the shoe was on other foot and it was his brother and you were against it most people would say the none related party needs to mind their own business if it doesn't affect them.
Best wishes for his recovery xxx

Also if he is scripted he will need that transferred to wherever you are

Look into abstinence based housing, he needs to carry on in a programme , surrounded by people and mentors with the same goal if he goes back to his previous area or will be so much harder. I've worked with first place hiding but know there are others. He would be better off not having a job while there at universal credit will pay his rent which would be expensive if he was to book in privately. They do therapy, group sessions, twelve step plus activities everyday so it starts a purposeful routine, Emmaus are similar but you work in their charity shops/workshops while you are resident there. That kind of housing has pathways to longer term tenancies and HA.

Please do it if you can.
I work in prisons.
The first couple of weeks after release are so overwhelming and many reoffend straight away as it’s very stressful and if they don’t have support they’ll usually go back to their usual coping techniques.
A change of scenery initially is great, somewhere peaceful just to breathe again and then if you could help him get a routine going asap.
I’m not saying you can do it all but if you can support him to find the four legs that will hold him up…safe shelter, a sense of purpose (job) , healthy relationships (yourself and you mum etc) and enjoyable leisure time ( gym, cinema, fishing , whatever old hobbies he used to have)
Best of luck to you all, it can happen, yes he needs to want to do it but his chances are so much higher if he has support .

It may not work. But it definitely won't work if you don't try.