To go pick brother up? Released from prison

Honestly all your plans, your mum renting out her property, moving to an air bnb , living with 3 small children and a husband and wife. Going on trips etc.., they sound like huge pressure and expectations on a heroin addict! I'd be surprised if you get as far as the trip away tomorrow. I hope it all works out but it's a hell of a lot going on. Is there no rehab, support houses he can live in ? I'd be worried about heroin around the children if something goes wrong.

I agree wholeheartedly. I also think you are a great, kind sister, op, and truly hope it all works out for your brother. If it doesn't, at least you will have tried.

I'm wishing you both (and your mother), all the very best.

OP I understand your husband's reservations. He is probably worried about u being disappointed yet again, however I totally understand you wanting to do this for your brother. I.am sending u all my very best wishes.

OP was talking about ordering a passport though? Apologies if I misunderstood!

Don't think she meant abroad as he doesn't have a passport and she said near her.

So am I.

Sounds lovely OP, but I'd be very VERY cautious about going abroad. Especially because if there is any chance he may relapse, drug laws in other countries or going across borders can be very severe. What about a lovely AirBnB in a different part of the country to you? So eg. Cornwall / Devon if you are in the North or Scotland if you are in the South etc. Good luck - it's a very kind thing you are doing and wishing your brother all the best.

I’m with your DH, on this one. Help but keep limits on time and energy. If you have young kids, bringing your brother in close contact with your dcs will desensitise your children to harms of drug use. I would protect my family at all costs but children come before adult addicts.

I work in this area . He needs to be linked to a service and they have special criminal justice teams that work with someone on leaving prison .
he should have been referred .

You can’t do this alone and there is support for him and families .

Do find out the local drug and alcohol service . Various charities run them and offer support . Is he on a heroin substitute ? Could be methadone but there are others . That will help .

https://adfam.org.uk/other-support-services/

CGL or Via are charities that are commissioned to work with people. They do the prescribing and have doctors and nurses and recovery workers .
they also work with people leaving prison .
has he been linked before to a service ?

https://www.changegrowlive.org
https://www.changegrowlive.org/local-support/find-a-service

https://www.changegrowlive.org/advice-info/family-friends

https://www.viaorg.uk

leaving prison is high risk if he uses as his tolerance will be lower .

so that’s why these services have teams that work with people leaving prison .

Sounds like you have a plan. I only have experience of living with an alcohol addict but my word of warning is don’t ‘manage’ your brother too much. He needs choice and tho too much might be overwhelming not enough causes rebellion, kick back ime.
Good luck. Your brother has am amazing sister and I hope it goes well for you both.

Give your bother a chance, your idea is a marvellous thing. Give him a chance, obviously don't devote your whole life to saving him, but give him a chance. You are thinking right.

Please look at this charity, my friend set it up, he's a former addict and now advises the government. It's possible to turn his life around and this would be a good place to start

https://towardsrecovery.org/

Wishing your family all the very best. You sound like a great sister and it’s really heartening that your mum will put her flat up for rent to help your brother out even if she doesn’t quite get it all.

Bless you, I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother 💐 I think it's totally understandable that you want to give your brother the best chance of staying in recovery and it's great that he has you and your mum. DH is probably worried about you being disappointed and upset if your brother were to relapse. Tell him that you realise it's a realistic possibility but that you want to give him this chance and you hope that your DH will support you. Wishing you all the best OP

Is NA for him - narcotics anonymous- he can link into that too. Great you’re helping to support him but I’m sure you know ultimately it’s down to him. You cannot fix him - I hope it works out for you all. ❤️🌺

I don't think that's fair on the DH, maybe he's just trying to protect his family. Drug addiction is horrendous and the affect to the wider family is awful. I was your dh in this situation and it really affected our relationship. Ex dh was blinded by trying to help and and at times prioritized his sibling at the detriment to our children, and I had to become the bad guy which caused conflict and lots of blame.

Good for you, OP. All the best.

I think it's a wonderful thing to do for your brother and also great for your children to know their mother helped their uncle even if it doesn't work out it's no bad thing to try. Think it's cruel of your husband to not support you even if he doesn't agree, he should still back you cause if you on your husband's advice cancelled and didn't help your brother it would probably be something that would impact your relationship anyway

You sound like a lovely sister. All you can do is try. If it works then you've helped him turn his life around. If it doesn't, then you know you've done all you can. People in recovery absolutely need support and if he has the determination, your support could help him keep some willpower. Wishing you both well in this. I'll keep my fingers crossed for a positive outcome x

I hope you can get him some professional help, and with your support, he can turn his life around.

Thank you for being a good sister - you are not wasting your time. Your brothers time in prison I think shows that he seems to do well with structure. I think having a job long term would help give him that structure and keep him busy, help with self esteem, sense of purpose etc. Can you encourage him to find some sort of regular employment - anything even if low paid- it gets him out the house which is good for mental health, socialisation with colleagues, a bit of money etc.

Are you saying that your brother is coming to live with you for 2 weeks?

It would be a wonderful thing to do with no expectations in your own mind. People can move on from addiction, they need to want to and support makes all the difference.