To think the hilarity just wasn’t necessary?

Same!

@DonnySue The hilarity was inappropriate and unnecessary. You sound like a kind and thoughtful person. I'm amazed at many of the comments on this thread effectively in support of bullying you.

After the tour we sat in the park for a bit to reflect on it. I really can’t understand what is so odd about it, I think it’s weirder to leave somewhere like that and completely forget about what you’ve just seen

I think it's more that most people might think about it afterwards (maybe sporadically over the next day or so), but very much wouldn't feel the need to decide to go and sit somewhere on their own to do deliberate musing iyswim. They'd just have random thoughts about it while they were getting on with their day.

P.s. They were mean, especially to keep on about it.

It was a bit odd yes but they shouldn't ridicule you

So you were visiting family and there was a topic of conversation you enjoyed. After the topic changed, you went outside to have a little think, and then on your return you attempted (several times by the sounds of things) to turn the conversation back to what you were interested in.

Look, I’m autistic and I hate feeling as if a conversation has moved on before I’m finished talking about a favourite subject - but that’s how conversations work. You can’t force everyone to keep going back to a subject because it’s what you have a special interest in.

It’s also rude to go outside immediately to reflect. You don’t need to do that right away, and leaving a conversation to do so is unusual, rude, and quite disrespectful to the rest of the people.

Sitting after a visit to a museum to think about what you’ve seen is worlds apart from leaving a conversation with family members that you’ve gone to visit.

I understand you feel humiliated but surely you can see why they found your behaviour a little odd and a tad pretentious?! I am intense and struggle to let subjects go, and they continue in my head even after the conversation has moved on. But I don’t fuck off to “have a think” every time that happens 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

Maybe have a reflect on this thread and why so many people are saying that while your family shouldn’t have been unkind, your behaviour wasn’t the best.

I agree.

FWIW Op, I'd do a history degree too if I won the lottery!

OP, I've only read your responses but not all the replies.

I love learning new stuff, particularly about history. And yes, sometimes it does make me want to sit and think for a while. I can remember going to see the Mappa Mundi in Hereford Cathedral with a couple of people who didn't 'get' it, but it sent me into a real reverie about how life would have been when it was made. I could have sat and talked about it for another hour but the people I was with wanted to go to the pub and watch the rugby and thought I was weird for having such an enthusiastic response to some old map...

I suspect there's something like that going on in your family. You're clearly bright and curious and thoughtful and imaginative and your family are people who like going to the pub for a pint to watch the sport.

Is there a local history group you might get involved in? I think you might find it packed with people like you. If you're anywhere near a university you can sometimes find public lectures that can be really fascinating, too.

And you're right, laughing at people who aren't like us is unnecessary. If I'd been there I wouldn't have laughed.

So the person called her pretentious & wanky isn’t a personal comment then? Not nice when it’s given back is it.

I don’t think what you did was wrong in the way some people seem to be implying by saying it was weird or that you should have ignored your desire to sit and reflect. What harm does that do? I would have shared this with my dc too, I would like them to know it’s ok to retreat and contemplate something on their own. My ds needs alone time after intense interactions in order to process, and I think I do too but it has been conditioned out of me.

My family might have mocked me a bit too had my child told them this and I’ve felt that feeling where I’m disappointed that the conversation and atmosphere has moved on when I’m not ready to stop talking about it. But that doesn’t mean you need to change anything about yourself OP. They shouldn’t have gone on and one about it.

Are you neurodiverse @DonnySue ? x

No you piss off.

“Oh bless you” in your original comment. How patronising. 🤢

It’s not weird at all. Telling someone to “own their weirdness” is fucking rude. People should own their differences. ‘Weird’ isn’t a kind word to say to someone. It implies they’re negatively different or strange.

I’d have 100% laughed…I laughed at your post to be honest.

So, lots of people who would laugh at a relative just because they think it's weird.
OP has said how it made her feel and yet lots of people wouldn't care if their relative felt that way.
I don't think you did anything wrong and you just said you were going out for some fresh air. Then your DD asked what you were doing.
Your sister sounds like a total bitch tbh.

Assuming your family is fairly familiar with you and these little quirks, in this situation I would maybe have inwardly smiled and thought ah that is such a you thing to do/say.
It was a little odd, not rude, and presumably normal for you.
They were mean to laugh and laugh at your expense.

Ah i feel sorry for you OP. We are not good at tolerating ‘difference’. I expect they had images of you adopting the pose of Rodin’s Thinker and found it a bit silly.

I guess it would make a difference if it was meant humorously or nastily. I can see why it hurts and you feel embarrassed. But they won’t be thinking about it any more and neither should you. We need people who think!

I love stimulating conversations like this and when topics move from one thing to another so quickly it's all too easy for topics to get lost in the ether isn't it @DonnySue? I think it was a great idea to go outside and reflect and imagine. History is amazing! As is our capacity to transport ourselves to different times and try to empathise with our forebearers.

Your family sound a little ignorant in the moment but I'd forgive them by the fact that they were having an engaged discussion about such a fascinating topic. I think the use of 'reflection' probably sounded a little precocious coming from a 9 year old and I expect that this is what they were laughing at so please don't take it personally.

Go and study history as it's obviously a passion for you!

If you were my sister, I would never let you live this down 😂😂

What a ridiculous thing to come out with.

Your family are EXACTLY the people to mock you! Most families engage in slagging, ribbing, etc as an integral part of family culture, I'd rather that so long as it stays on the right side of mean than polite formality.

If she had been in on the joke it would have been fine, but they were laughing at her. Reading this thread just goes to show why there is so much bullying in schools, children are learning how to behave from their parents. Wonder if all the laughing people would feel if they were the ones being laughed at.

Your post is lovely and supportive, and I agree fully with what you’re trying to say, but I just wanted to mention the bit where you write -

‘You're clearly bright and curious and thoughtful and imaginative and your family are people who like going to the pub for a pint to watch the sport.’

I just wanted to mention that it’s entirely possible to be someone who’s bright/curious etc and also someone who likes going to the pub or watching sport. We’re all complex and multifaceted, with loads of different qualities and traits, which change over time. In line with that, if you enjoy ‘intellectual’ things, it doesn’t mean you can’t also enjoy less obviously intellectual things (to generalise). I’m sure that’s not how you intended your post to read, but I just wanted to mention. E.g. my Dad is very practical and good at DIY etc, loves watching football and rugby but also likes history, classical music, poetry, ballet and the theatre. It’s possible to like all of those things.

I thought this. It's the lack of recognition to see why others may have found it odd, needing time to decompress (reflect), being bored when a favourite subject is not being talked about and trying to steer the convo back to a favourite subject, lining up of dates and photos and making sure everything has a place and that place is correct - self made rules? Special interest and collecting things.

I don't think it's weird but can see why others might think so - it's not the usual response to a family chat.

I was thinking the same, some of the comments on here are awful.....

But presumably it would be out of character for your sister.
I'd have thought for OP this would be the kind of thing she often does and wouldn't be seen as outrageously funny.