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AIBU?

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Original poster

To speak to reception children like this..

75 replies

Countrygirlxo · 16/07/2024 14:53

Would you expect a Reception teacher to say to your child "that sounds like a you problem."?
Regarding something they were bothered about, wouldn't say upset, something they had gone to the teacher about and that's the attitude of the class teacher.

OP posts:
Ruffpuff · 16/07/2024 15:03

No, not really. It sounds like something similar I could potentially say to my reception aged son, however that’s only because he seems to have developed a grasp of sarcasm recently so I am jokingly sarcastic with him.

Nevertheless, I wouldn’t say “that sounds like a you problem”- it’s passive aggressive and he probably wouldn’t understand.

I definitely wouldn’t expect that from his teachers.

Devilsmommy · 16/07/2024 15:06

Sounds like a teacher who's on MN 😂 and no, saying that to a 4/5yo is ridiculous, surely they wouldn't even understand

LadyKenya · 16/07/2024 15:06

No. I am not sure that a child in reception would be a reliable source of recounting word by word what was said either.

Rycbar · 16/07/2024 15:06

Context matters to be honest. What was the child bothered about?
Im a reception teacher and my current class are absolutely ones you could say something like this to. They love sarcasm, they think it’s hilarious and the absolutely get it. Next years reception? Probably not.

yepandagain · 16/07/2024 15:12

the devil is in the detail

what was the issue the child went to the teacher about

yepandagain · 16/07/2024 15:13

for example

“Miss, Emma isn’t giving me any of her lunch and i want it!”

fact you have omitted the important detail is quite telling actually!

ClonedSquare · 16/07/2024 15:14

No, but I wouldn't be upset if they said a more child friendly version - "that sounds like a problem you could solve yourself" or "they haven't done anything wrong, so no I won't get involved".

The wording is silly to use to a small child, but the concept is fair enough.

FiveTreeHill · 16/07/2024 15:17

It depends on the context really and the child

It's probably not ideal phrasing but the concept is fair enough in many circumstances

Iseeyoupekingduck · 16/07/2024 15:21

LadyKenya · 16/07/2024 15:06

No. I am not sure that a child in reception would be a reliable source of recounting word by word what was said either.

I agree.

Wantitalltogoaway · 16/07/2024 15:22

Wtaf?

This is awful. PPs are right in that the child won’t understand it, but they will hear ‘you’ and ‘problem’ = you are the problem.

Awful.

Happyinarcon · 16/07/2024 15:24

From my own experience those were the kind of ways my kid was fobbed off by her primary school teacher when she reported intimidating behavior from other kids. My daughter got a lot of sighs and eye rolls when she went to the teacher about things that really weren’t ok

WallaceinAnderland · 16/07/2024 15:28

Maybe they've been learning about boundaries. In reception you get a constant line of children telling on each other. We teach them to think whether that is something that teacher needs to know. Perhaps they use that phrase to remind the child. Who knows?

One thing is for sure, you won't get accurate reporting from a 5 year old.

RookieMa · 16/07/2024 15:30

Depends on how annoying that child is I guess

coupdetonnerre · 16/07/2024 15:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

HcbSS · 16/07/2024 15:35

Context definitely needed. What was the 'problem' in question? Does the child have form for telling tales?

Shielehdie · 16/07/2024 15:37

That’s a rude thing to say to anyone. Children deserve to be spoken to respectfully and in an age appropriate way. That comment fulfilled neither requirement.

KrisAkabusi · 16/07/2024 15:55

I guarantee that the teacher did not just say those six words and leave it at that.

Original poster
Countrygirlxo · 16/07/2024 16:04

KrisAkabusi · 16/07/2024 15:55

I guarantee that the teacher did not just say those six words and leave it at that.

I guarantee they did as I'm the TA and was genuinely shocked.
The child was bothered because they needed help with something. No compassion or nurture at all.

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 16/07/2024 16:10

If you think you witnessed something inappropriate it's best to follow procedure which I am sure you already know.

LadyKenya · 16/07/2024 16:12

Countrygirlxo · 16/07/2024 16:04

I guarantee they did as I'm the TA and was genuinely shocked.
The child was bothered because they needed help with something. No compassion or nurture at all.

Show quote history

Ok, what did you say, or do afterwards? This is a helpless child.

WittyFatball · 16/07/2024 16:13

It doesn't sound great but not really abusive is it?
Teacher sounds irritable which is kind of understandable at this point in the year.

maudelovesharold · 16/07/2024 16:17

Does this teacher have form for lacking empathy? Is Reception not the year she normally teaches?

zingally · 16/07/2024 16:19

Hmmm... I've taught a lot of Reception children over the years, and at this point in the year, I might have said something like that to a few of them. But only in jest. I'd have only said it to the more mature ones, who are getting a sense of humour and are starting to understand banter.

That been said, at this point in the year, everyone is on their last nerve. I can understand a tired, frustrated teacher, dealing with a tired and frustrated class, who might say it in a moment of annoyance over the 500th whinge they've heard that day. It's not a perfect response, but no one is perfect.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 16/07/2024 16:24

Hmmm. I've taught primary and secondary. This is exactly the kind of thing I'd say in a joky way to a student, but almost certainly not to a Reception age child unless they were pretty precocious and I knew they'd understand and take it in the way it was intended. I wouldn't say it in annoyance to a primary school child.

ShotsSpeedCustard · 16/07/2024 16:50

I'm a Reception TA and wouldn't think that was appropriate. What did you do about it / who did you go to for advice in real life?

I might say something similar to a child but it would be along the lines of "Alex, you don't want to eat your snack/lunch. We eat food so we don't get hungry later when we should be learning. There will be no more snacks later so if you don't eat now and are hungry later, that's your problem to think about." That's an explanation of consequences they can understand. "That's a You problem" doesn't make sense to a 5 year old and will confuse them / make them reluctant to tell the teacher they are feeling upset / angry / ill etc in future.