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AIBU?

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Original poster

To speak to reception children like this..

75 replies

Countrygirlxo · 16/07/2024 14:53

Would you expect a Reception teacher to say to your child "that sounds like a you problem."?
Regarding something they were bothered about, wouldn't say upset, something they had gone to the teacher about and that's the attitude of the class teacher.

OP posts:
PinkForgetMeNot · 16/07/2024 16:54

zingally · 16/07/2024 16:19

Hmmm... I've taught a lot of Reception children over the years, and at this point in the year, I might have said something like that to a few of them. But only in jest. I'd have only said it to the more mature ones, who are getting a sense of humour and are starting to understand banter.

That been said, at this point in the year, everyone is on their last nerve. I can understand a tired, frustrated teacher, dealing with a tired and frustrated class, who might say it in a moment of annoyance over the 500th whinge they've heard that day. It's not a perfect response, but no one is perfect.

I agree with your second paragraph

LostTheMarble · 16/07/2024 16:58

No it’s not appropriate for a teacher to say it to a child. It wouldn’t be appropriate to say it to a teen never mind a 5 year old (and some secondary teachers seem to try and ‘cool talk’ with the kids like this). I think the general rule is, if you wouldn’t say it to a colleague without being pulled up on it, you shouldn’t say it to a child in your work environment.

FineFettler · 16/07/2024 17:05

Saying that to a young child about something the child is clearly genuinely bothered about is not acceptable. Even if she thought it was a trivial whinge, it wasn't to the child, and if it was trivial then by definition it could be sorted out quite easily.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 16/07/2024 17:09

Context is everything I think. If it was said spitefully and I was already concerned about how the teacher spoke to the child I probably wouldn’t like it. If it was said in an upbeat way and I had no other concerns I’m not sure I’d think twice about it.

ilovesooty · 16/07/2024 17:38

WallaceinAnderland · 16/07/2024 16:10

If you think you witnessed something inappropriate it's best to follow procedure which I am sure you already know.

Exactly. What posters on here think isn't relevant.

GRex · 16/07/2024 17:42

As a parent of a child not much older, meh. This is a 5yo, so they should be aware by this point that teachers are not carers nor friends, and that while teachers will be bothered by bigger incidents the kids need to tone down the "wah, Amelia is being mean because she decided to play with Iris not me." whining.

TinyYellow · 16/07/2024 17:42

How long have you been working with this teacher? If you’ve been together all year and in the last week you’ve only just noticed something mildly questionable then I’d assume the teacher is just end of year irritable and let it go.

If you don’t know the teacher or class well, then you should consider context you might not be aware of.

The phrasing wasn’t great, but maybe the child wanted help with something that the teacher has been encouraging them to try independently first.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 16/07/2024 17:56

I would expect it because it sounds just like my daughter's first teacher. We ended up referring to her as The Trunch.

Honestly this bitch was awful and utterly destroyed my daughter. Just hateful from day 1, even the preschool asked if there was previous beef between me and the teacher because of the way she acted when she visited my daughter in the setting. All very odd!

She got fired in the end, went to do specialist phonics workshops with SEN kids. I wouldn't trust her with a budgie!

Totoe · 16/07/2024 18:03

Countrygirlxo · 16/07/2024 16:04

I guarantee they did as I'm the TA and was genuinely shocked.
The child was bothered because they needed help with something. No compassion or nurture at all.

Show quote history

I would raise your concern with your line manager (or if that’s the teacher, one level above her). It is not an appropriate way to speak to a child.

Worth bearing mind we are 3 days from the end of term. Not an excuse, but if any teacher is going to have a temporary lapse, this is when it will happen.

GiveItAGoMalcom · 16/07/2024 18:20

Countrygirlxo · 16/07/2024 16:04

I guarantee they did as I'm the TA and was genuinely shocked.
The child was bothered because they needed help with something. No compassion or nurture at all.

Show quote history

Oh dear

I think you mean you were the TA! 🤦‍♀️

Hugely unprofessional to run the risk of the teacher recognising you both on this public forum.

Moonlaserbearwolf · 16/07/2024 18:33

Trust your own judgement OP - none of us here can really give you a useful opinion. As a one-off phrase it seems a bit odd, but I couldn’t get hung up over this if it’s an isolated comment at the end of the summer term.

Original poster
Countrygirlxo · 16/07/2024 19:33

GiveItAGoMalcom · 16/07/2024 18:20

Oh dear

I think you mean you were the TA! 🤦‍♀️

Hugely unprofessional to run the risk of the teacher recognising you both on this public forum.

Show quote history

No. I left last week after a year of bullying by her. I was just curious to see if anyone thought how she spoke to the children was acceptable. This was a month or two ago too so being the end of term isn't an excuse and yes it was reported to my line manager

OP posts:
PixieLaLar · 16/07/2024 19:38

I mean it could be said in a jokey almost playful way but it sounds like in this situation it was quite nasty of the teacher and not very appropriate towards a little one asking for help.

mrssunshinexxx · 16/07/2024 20:01

If my child said her teacher had said that to her I would be far from happy

Iseeyoupekingduck · 16/07/2024 20:01

GiveItAGoMalcom · 16/07/2024 18:20

Oh dear

I think you mean you were the TA! 🤦‍♀️

Hugely unprofessional to run the risk of the teacher recognising you both on this public forum.

Show quote history

I was going to say that the op is very easily identifiable.

Original poster
Countrygirlxo · 16/07/2024 20:05

Iseeyoupekingduck · 16/07/2024 20:01

I was going to say that the op is very easily identifiable.

Show quote history

We broke up for summer last week and I handed in my notice and won't be returning so I'm not bothered about being identified

OP posts:
Isittimeformynapyet · 16/07/2024 20:07

zingally · 16/07/2024 16:19

Hmmm... I've taught a lot of Reception children over the years, and at this point in the year, I might have said something like that to a few of them. But only in jest. I'd have only said it to the more mature ones, who are getting a sense of humour and are starting to understand banter.

That been said, at this point in the year, everyone is on their last nerve. I can understand a tired, frustrated teacher, dealing with a tired and frustrated class, who might say it in a moment of annoyance over the 500th whinge they've heard that day. It's not a perfect response, but no one is perfect.

I hope you wouldn't teach a child that "that been said" is correct!

Isittimeformynapyet · 16/07/2024 20:11

😱 it's just occurred to me that maybe i'm the one who's been wrong all my life!!

I assumed it was "that being said".

Original poster
Countrygirlxo · 16/07/2024 20:14

Isittimeformynapyet · 16/07/2024 20:11

😱 it's just occurred to me that maybe i'm the one who's been wrong all my life!!

I assumed it was "that being said".

Everyday is a school day

OP posts:
LanaL · 16/07/2024 20:15

That’s completely unprofessional. I’m a teacher and yes , I’m human. I get fed up of the millions of questions and wanting me to solve everything 🤣 but they’re babies , I would never say that to them. They look to the teacher as someone to help them and listen to them and that’s what they should do .

I would say this to my own children, in a lighthearted way , but not to my student.

Lifeinlists · 16/07/2024 20:16

Isittimeformynapyet · 16/07/2024 20:11

😱 it's just occurred to me that maybe i'm the one who's been wrong all my life!!

I assumed it was "that being said".

It is

NCNCNCNCNCNCNCNameChange · 16/07/2024 20:18

She sounds like a total bitch and unfit to be around for children. Children are the most vulnerable people in society generally. If this total cow wouldn't say that to the head mistress kf she was whinging she shouldn't say it to a child just because she can get away with it with them. Also hugely disappointed in the people on this thread either doubting a child's ability to recount all details accurately of what was said ( before you said you're the TA and a witness ) or suggesting it's okay at this point in the year. Is it okay to be like that with adults or assume they've got something wrong then? Disgraceful.

Isittimeformynapyet · 16/07/2024 20:23

Lifeinlists · 16/07/2024 20:16

It is

Show quote history

Yeah, I just looked it up 😅

Thanks

Happyinarcon · 17/07/2024 08:03

Countrygirlxo · 16/07/2024 16:04

I guarantee they did as I'm the TA and was genuinely shocked.
The child was bothered because they needed help with something. No compassion or nurture at all.

Show quote history

Parents would be truly horrified if they knew how their kids were treated at school. This child probably won’t tell his mum about this but won’t want to go to school and his parents will drag him in anyway

MissTrip82 · 17/07/2024 09:24

I think you’d have to be a massive dick to say that to anybody. So rude and contemptuous.