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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if you can no longer afford school fees...

658 replies

TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 19:54

that is tough.

OP posts:
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7
Againname · 13/06/2024 21:14

TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 21:04

Until recently, we had social housing to spare.

Other counties have sent their homeless her and last 2 years no stock. Very few left.

@TiredMumE That's becoming an increasing issue. Awful for both the displaced people and locals affected by the added pressure on housing.
There's a real need for more social housing. Everywhere it's needed, across the country.

Sorry for going a bit off topic (although I think housing is relevant to school inequality issues).

Willyoujustbequiet · 13/06/2024 21:14

Andtheworldwentwhite · 13/06/2024 20:30

Really bloody fed up with comments like this. As it is really an ignorant point of view.

Not every private school is done for the rich and wealthy. My sister runs a very small private school that mostly caters for children who need more help , slight special needs etc. this is going to close her down.

now. There are no fancy things at this school. Everything there is bought 2nd hand etc etc.

parents scrimp and save to send their children there as they know that they will never get the help their children need in a normal state school. And I mean they scrimp and save every penny. I know what these families are going without and doing to actually pay for this for their children and it’s not giving up holidays or cancelling Netflix. It’s way more than that.

And even then the fees are not that huge. But it is a private school so it will be classed as some of the extra posh ones.

these kids will be forced back into the state system where they will either not get the help they need or cost the state schools more. Her business will close meaning everyone who works there will loose their jobs.

but please yes go ahead and be a bitch about stuff u have no knowledge off.

Edited

Why would you presume pupils with 'slight special needs' as you put it will never get the help they need at a state school?

Dc with SEN are at a comp and are absolutely thriving due to the excellent teaching and support. There are outstanding state schools out there and I don't understand this need to paint such a bleak picture.

Lougle · 13/06/2024 21:14

It's interesting isn't it? What will happen to all the Specialist Independent schools that LAs put children in who can't cope with mainstream? Will they have VAT? That just means that the SEN budget will be even more stretched.

TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 21:15

Think I read they're exempt with ehcp.

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Blarneytalk · 13/06/2024 21:15

TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 21:13

I've worked in Blackpool. I give all my children's old things to children in Blackpool.

No towels, no bedding, no shoes. No child should live like that.

Yet you begrudge displaced families coming to the UK?

Blarneytalk · 13/06/2024 21:16

TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 21:15

Think I read they're exempt with ehcp.

Which poster are you answering?

Willyoujustbequiet · 13/06/2024 21:16

TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 20:35

Do you genuinely think there are spare seats in state school?

I can't speak for other areas but all the schools (outstanding) in my area have spare places.

Blarneytalk · 13/06/2024 21:16

TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 21:09

You're an adult. Can't you even debate without swearing? Sign of a limited vocabulary.

Which poster are you answering here?

BloodyAdultDC · 13/06/2024 21:16

My dsis has only ever taught in private schools and has bemoaned state education for the best part of 2 decades. Currently having to relocate due to divorce and her DC will no longer be in private school - the utter disdain she is giving out about the grim-ness of her situation is palpable - God help her DC who will now be going to the same state secondary as mine. It's sickening.

mamaison · 13/06/2024 21:16

TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 21:08

I'm not dancing with joy over the policy. Children are resilient. Life changes. They will make new friends.

This is blithely ableist. Plenty of us with children who have SEN are scraping by because our children would not have their needs met in mainstream.

‘Children are resilient. Life changes’- are you really that ignorant about SEN? To not be aware that minor changes are an a huge issue for some children?

Bunnyasmyname · 13/06/2024 21:17

Aladdinzane · 13/06/2024 21:12

"Unlike you OP, not everyone lives in a place with excellent state schools, can afford £400k or where there little demand for the super duper cheap social housing etc."

Where do you live that spending 108k in 6 years on high school won't get you a mortgage for a house that's around 400k?

Some parents only need private schools for a few years as their child has anxiety issues, Sen issues, whatever.

As has been said, it is these most needed places that will suffer the most as will the kids in them whilst nasty bitches like you smile at their misfortune.

You truly are hateful.

TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 21:17

Can you not use their DLA to pay for the additional fifth?

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elastamum · 13/06/2024 21:18

There is no carve out for EHCP agreed and it would be difficult to implement one as you can't have a service that you charge vat on for some people and not others. That is discriminatory and will no doubt be challenged. It's really not straightforward.

OohCookedPerfectly · 13/06/2024 21:18

My DC's best friend is a very bright girl with very high functioning autism. Her needs are, apparently, not extreme enough to get an EHCP. She cannot function or cope in a mainstream school, her anxiety is too great. She started mainstream but she had school refusal and the only way they could manage to get her back in the education system was to send her to a small independent as this is the only environment she can cope in.

Should it be this way with state schools? No. Should they have better funding and provision for SEN? Absolutely. Is it going to change anytime soon? No.

It's looking likely with the VAT added to fees she will need to be pulled out of her current school. So it means she's likely to miss out on an education as she will not cope in mainstream.

Why should she be penalised?

TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 21:19

that's a shame re ehcp.

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Topofthemountain · 13/06/2024 21:19

BotDranning · 13/06/2024 20:45

What a nasty nasty post.

I have friends who have decided to only have one child and worked their arses off to pay to send their child to private school. He is in year 12 and will have to leave due to this tax. They made a sensible decisions.

Of course they could have sat on their backsides, produced loads of kids they can't afford and claim benefits.....
Which is better 🤔?

That seems an incredibly knee jerk reaction on something that isn't yet known how it is going to be implemented.

This has been mooted for years, an election was always going to happen this year, so this should have come as no surprise to them and they should have perhaps made the decision to pull him out for A'levels. It is one year, for 20%, surely after paying for all the other previous years you'd do anything to keep him there.

This either isn't true or this is not the reason they are thinking of pulling him out.

therejustbarely · 13/06/2024 21:19

If a 20% increase means it's completely unaffordable, it was probably unwise to commit to it.

TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 21:19

@OohCookedPerfectly that is upsetting.

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TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 21:20

Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition...

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Angrymum22 · 13/06/2024 21:20

There have been numerous threads re PE and we are confidently assured that due to the falling birth rate that there are plenty of places available.
Have state parents considered the longterm implication of falling birth rates. Eventually school rolls will reach a critical level where it is no longer financially viable to keep every school open. Maybe you should consider how the closure of your local school due to lack of numbers will impact your children.
For LEAs the numbers will not be as low as you assume. School funding is per pupil not based on the size of the school so trying to run a school at 3/4 full with a budget of 3/4 will not be very attractive and is not effective use of the education budget.

If there are 4 schools in a town all working at 3/4 capacity then it makes sen e to close one school and distribute the pupils and teaching staff amongst the remaining schools.

We have already seen four small primary schools close in our small town and pupils moved to the remaining two schools. Much cheaper for the LEA to maintain two sites than 6.
I suspect that this is probably the long term plan throughout the state system.
Regardless of whether you agree with PE the future of many schools is on the line with falling birth rate.

Hatfullofwillow · 13/06/2024 21:21

If we had a state system with the resources & variety to support kids with SEN or those that would benefit from a different setting, then I'd agree. In fact I'd Nationalise them. But we don't.

Personally I'd prefer a wealth tax to fund education, health and public services and actually start to level up.

Wideskye · 13/06/2024 21:21

EwwSprouts · 13/06/2024 20:08

So you are in an area of wealth and aspiration? DS has left school now but we live in an area of fairly dire state secondaries, requiring improvement. We also didn't want single sex which was our catchment.

OP is right it is tough. But you can still sympathise with the children who will likely have their education disrupted. Different exam boards for example.

Good point about examine boards.
I have never understood why England doesn't have one exam board.
Having taught several boards over the years it doesn't make sense .
Lacks standardisation. In the past we have swapped boards depending on the cohort.usually pretty obvious by year 8.
Nothing to do with this thread, just a pet peeve of mine.

Aladdinzane · 13/06/2024 21:21

"Some parents only need private schools for a few years as their child has anxiety issues, Sen issues, whatever."

Then they'll pay significantly less than most and can prepare for it?

"You are truly hateful"

I've said nothing that was hateful, I asked a genuine question.

It appears that every PE parent here lives far from a good school and the local ones are cesspits with regular murders. Yet they can afford upwards of 18k per child each year for high school.

Nothing hateful about the question.

Maybe you know you are not defending your cause well and have to play the victim?

Now see, that was mean.

:)

Willyoujustbequiet · 13/06/2024 21:21

mamaison · 13/06/2024 21:16

This is blithely ableist. Plenty of us with children who have SEN are scraping by because our children would not have their needs met in mainstream.

‘Children are resilient. Life changes’- are you really that ignorant about SEN? To not be aware that minor changes are an a huge issue for some children?

They are exempt with an EHCP as someone pointed out earlier.

TiredMumE · 13/06/2024 21:21

We haven't had single-sex in decades.

OP posts: