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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want him to "finish" inside me...

97 replies

fairyliquidbubbles · 19/05/2024 20:57

Apologies for the un-minced wording here but here goes:

Since becoming a mum a year ago, I have found it very inconvenient for my husband to "finish" inside me after sex.

Generally we have sex right before sleep and it just seems to be dripping out for ages afterward making my underwear and pajamas wet and uncomfortable. Not to mention the bedsheets. All just feels messy and leaves me feeling unhygienic.

Equally I don't particularly enjoy the other options. Aka him finishing "on" me.

I not sure I experienced these feelings/ distaste towards the above, pre baby.

Wondered if anyone else feels like this? Any tips / tricks/ hacks?

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 19/05/2024 22:39

GoodVibesHere · 19/05/2024 21:28

What on earth is a peri-bottle?

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I think it’s one of those nose things that go up your nostril.

GoodVibesHere · 19/05/2024 22:34

Greeneyegirl · 19/05/2024 21:38

It's a spray bottle of water with a mini hose type thing that bends upwards. It's usually for post partum. Saved me with my third degree tear. I was told to spray the area with clean water after pee or poo and then pat gently dry/air dry. It's so your not dragging loo roll over stitches/leaving bacteria over a big wound

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Well, you learn something new every day! Thanks for explaining, I'd never heard of it.

Letsbuildazoo · 19/05/2024 22:28

It's recommended to have a wee straight away after sex to avoid cystitis, I usually do and clean up then.

Sleeping with a tampon in is not a risk I'd be willing to take.

pootlin · 19/05/2024 21:57

PonyPatter44 · 19/05/2024 21:53

See, this is why people make fun of Mumsnet.

SMH....

Which bit are you / they making fun of?

PonyPatter44 · 19/05/2024 21:53

See, this is why people make fun of Mumsnet.

SMH....

IncognitoUsername · 19/05/2024 21:53

IfIHadAHeart · 19/05/2024 21:49

This thread is making me worry that my fanny is some sort of black hole. Whilst I’ve experienced a slight dribble or wet patch, it’s never been to the extent of being problematic.

I’m worried now…

Sorry but this made me laugh so hard I spat Diet Coke across the bed! So I’m going to be sleeping in an entirely different sort of wet patch!

IfIHadAHeart · 19/05/2024 21:49

This thread is making me worry that my fanny is some sort of black hole. Whilst I’ve experienced a slight dribble or wet patch, it’s never been to the extent of being problematic.

I’m worried now…

pootlin · 19/05/2024 21:48

fairyliquidbubbles · 19/05/2024 21:01

It's quite insane this option never crossed my mind. Hmm that is an option. I feel it would seem strange for me to request him to wear one- can't put my finger on why

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We’ve been socialised to put men first, ourselves last.

Condom is easier for him to remove than it is for you to clean yourself. So tell him he needs to use one from now on. If he says no, then no sex.

Ginfluencr · 19/05/2024 21:48

Maybe have sex earlier then shower after?

I agree it's ages coming out.

TowerRavenSeven · 19/05/2024 21:48

Bathroom and really bear down like you constipated!

adviceneeded1990 · 19/05/2024 21:46

Sex blanket 😂🤣😂 this thread is amazing.

IncognitoUsername · 19/05/2024 21:45

anythinginapinch · 19/05/2024 21:41

Fucking no bastard way a bloke gets to come in me and then go off to sleep soundly and restfully at his ease, while I get up to shower/pee/wash, put a pie of pants in with a tena lady/big roll/pad, or insert a tampon, running the risk of thrush and cystitis. Don't know why but it's really annoyed me how many of you are adapting and taking all the repetitive clean -up functions on yourselves without thinking that there's anything wrong with it !

What’s your answer then?

Deadringer · 19/05/2024 21:44

Condoms definitely make things less messy, or failing that have sex on his side of the bed so at least you don't have to sleep on the wet patch.

anythinginapinch · 19/05/2024 21:41

Fucking no bastard way a bloke gets to come in me and then go off to sleep soundly and restfully at his ease, while I get up to shower/pee/wash, put a pie of pants in with a tena lady/big roll/pad, or insert a tampon, running the risk of thrush and cystitis. Don't know why but it's really annoyed me how many of you are adapting and taking all the repetitive clean -up functions on yourselves without thinking that there's anything wrong with it !

Nottherealslimshady · 19/05/2024 21:40

God I can't imagine using a tampon to keep all that stuck inside you all night is good for you.

Small towel down and he can pull out and finish onto that and it'll catch other fluids too.

Hateliars34 · 19/05/2024 21:39

Why can't he pull out before he comes and finish in his hand? And why are you asking us instead of discussing this with your DH?

DrStrangesSmarterSister · 19/05/2024 21:38

I appreciate this very much isn't what the thread is about, but bidets aren't easy to install, and should only be installed by someone qualified, or dangerous bacteria could get into the water system.

IncognitoUsername · 19/05/2024 21:38

saveforthat · 19/05/2024 21:20

Does your DH have a penis beaker?

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Oh lord that thread was classic!

Greeneyegirl · 19/05/2024 21:38

GoodVibesHere · 19/05/2024 21:28

What on earth is a peri-bottle?

Show quote history

It's a spray bottle of water with a mini hose type thing that bends upwards. It's usually for post partum. Saved me with my third degree tear. I was told to spray the area with clean water after pee or poo and then pat gently dry/air dry. It's so your not dragging loo roll over stitches/leaving bacteria over a big wound

fashionqueen0123 · 19/05/2024 21:38

I remember someone on a Facebook group mentioning how she’d always feel it coming out the next day on the bus to work 🤣
I think just ask him to pull out just before?

Poshcheddar · 19/05/2024 21:38

I put a pair of period knickers on, and go straight to sleep 😄

hsar200 · 19/05/2024 21:37

awkwardessentials.com/products/dripstick?selling_plan=3538387095

Same issue. Leaks for hours afterwards. These are kind of pricy though so not bought them but would sort it.

Wherewerewerewear · 19/05/2024 21:36

Businessflake · 19/05/2024 21:25

Howling at someone using the terms sex blanket and sex products 😂

It was the ‘don't dry your fanny, it's never recommended’ that made me laugh 😆😂

JanglingJack · 19/05/2024 21:34

Who wants to get up, shower, peri (?) their fanny after having sex in bed before sleep?
I've always found that I have leakage quite a while after, so that wouldn't help.

As to your wondering @fairyliquidbubbles it's because you have a baby and you're mind and body is not ready for another one. It's nature. I bet there was a time when you only wanted him to finish inside you.

The urge may come back!

I recommend keeping lined pants by the bed so you can put them on and conk out.

Or... Get a fanny beaker 🤣

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