To think most women on here hate men

MNHQ why was.
My post was deleted because i said some women need to wash their mouths out because of the language they use on some of the threads.
How is the above comment worse than all the effing and blinding we see on MN daily.

@PamPamPamPam What sort of Board of Directors do you sit on? Assuming you've not been at work today?

In case I have not made myself clear on other comments, I’ll say this again, in previous comments, more than once, I have said that maybe I worded something badly, I’ve also said that it was a vibe based off of some comments. You seem to want an argument, that’s a very bold thing to do, tell someone they are wrong for their perception of things. Now not once have I claimed to have read every comment, I have just done this myself, as I had not done this first time around, I will admit (which I do when I actually realise I’m mistaken) re reading the post, all the way to the end this time, I get a vibe from some of the comments, but not all, the overall tone of the whole thread is different to how I previously saw it.
one comment does stand out to me of underlying tone of please consider this is abusive (not necessarily relationship, just maybe an aspect of) I’ve highlighted it.

now I do wonder if you would ever admit to a stranger online that you may have been wrong? Or are you too high up on your horse to see?

You may think I’m bitching about women who have been abused and raped, I’m not actually, because I’m not bitching about what people have been through, I’m not an insensitive person (if you knew me you would know this) I can fully see why a woman who has been through as much as the lady who posted about all of her experiences, I can see why she feels that way about men, yes of course I can, I can see if that many men have put you in those situations that yes you would actually hate every one and feel so mistrustful, scared of anything else happening. I personally would love to see everyone who did that and everyone who allowed it to happen, either through action or inaction, would love to see them get what they deserve, and personally I’m not sure there is actually a word for what that should be, how far what they deserve should go.
what I worry, is that sometimes people who have been through trauma (sometimes) can see someone’s actions as the worst case scenario, if you get what I mean, I’m going to use my own example rather than a hypothetical… when I was a child, my dads wife at the time would beat me, use me as a servant to make all drinks for guests, family members, I had to get up every day and get myself ready for school and then make sure I had made her children’s lunches, breakfast and made her a coffee, after school I had to wash up as soon as I got in daily, I’m not talking I had chores, I’m talking this woman didn’t lift a finger to do any housework, the only thing she did was cook dinner, drink beers, take cocaine and smoke weed. If I left a spot of dirt on a plate by mistake I would get clouted around the head repeatedly, my head bounced off the banister and cupboard doors, she would then use the dirty plate for my food, I had bruises on my thighs from beatings and the neighbours even heard me scream once and called the police. Because of this I would flinch if someone moved to fast near me. Flinching because of fear of being hit is the physical version of what I’m talking about, sometimes I believe people react to hearing about behaviour, and it’s like a flinch, they see something they relate to and urge the person to leave maybe, they say they believe it’s abusive. And again, it might be abusive, I’m not saying it isn’t, I am saying it might not be.

as for 3 posts saying yes I hate men, I haven’t actually counted, it seems like there’s been more, I would have said it was maybe 6 or 7, so not a huge number in comparison to how many people have commented, I do get that

In case I have not made myself clear on other comments, I’ll say this again, in previous comments, more than once, I have said that maybe I worded something badly, I’ve also said that it was a vibe based off of some comments. You seem to want an argument, that’s a very bold thing to do, tell someone they are wrong for their perception of things. Now not once have I claimed to have read every comment, I have just done this myself, as I had not done this first time around, I will admit (which I do when I actually realise I’m mistaken) re reading the post, all the way to the end this time, I get a vibe from some of the comments, but not all, the overall tone of the whole thread is different to how I previously saw it.
one comment does stand out to me of underlying tone of please consider this is abusive (not necessarily relationship, just maybe an aspect of) I’ve highlighted it.

now I do wonder if you would ever admit to a stranger online that you may have been wrong? Or are you too high up on your horse to see?

For a second I forgot the context of the post you were responding to and wondered what on earth was going on in your house 🤣🤣

Nah. Im busy washing knickers and cooking crocodile for tea.

Its true go youtube search men vs women survival Bear grylls your see loads its hilarious.

i am not going to be able to show any deleted comments now am I? I am also not prepared to go back through a long thread to find and screenshot any posts that I felt had the tone of “this is abuse” I cannot remember which comments made me think there was at least a good proportion of commenters saying in one way or another that she was in the wrong relationship, someone doesn’t have to say “this is abuse” to mean it is abuse, the red flags comment is at the very least saying they think it’s questionable enough to lead to abuse, or maybe toxic behaviour. Just because someone looked at every comment available and saw different from me, does not make their take on it and what they have to say as facts

Thankyou for acknowledging that what I said about the calling someone stupid is abusive, of all the people who have disagreed with what I’ve said, you are the first in that reply to actually seem to consider what I’ve said and say “yes that’s wrong”

I suppose my point with any comments about that and other things said to people in personal attacks, no matter how mild, is that when a man says anything similar to a woman, he’s being sexist, misogynistic, abusive (take your pick from any or all plus more words to describe) and yet if a woman says similar to a man, it’s justified because men say worse and do worse, when a woman says it to a woman it gets brushed off as “I didn’t say anything abusive to you” she’s laughed at, ridiculed etc, if a man said to a woman “I didn’t say anything abusive to you” it’s gaslighting, but if a woman on Mumsnet says that, it’s backed up with a sort of gang mentality of other women supporting her in solidarity, because “we believe your opinion is not valid, we believe your opinion is horse shit” any combination of similar statements.

so the vibe I’m getting on here is “because men say worse on male dominated threads/do worse in person etc that makes it ok to aim milder in men’s directions, but that’s ok because men do and say worse.
then when a woman on here dares to speak an opinion that is not the majority, it’s acceptable to ridicule and verbally abuse, that is not a grown up healthy debate, it is essentially a milder version of the abuse some men inflict on women and a form of sexism, but that’s ok because it’s not raping and beating men and all other forms of abuse that women have been subjected to.

one poster on this thread said something thought provoking earlier and I wish I could remember the wording as I do not want to mis quote, I will try and find the post to not leave confusion, if I do I will tag you in the quote

As I’ve stated multiple times on this thread, it could be abuse, but we have one side of the argument from the wife’s pov, we were not a fly on the wall to know if she’s left out anything that would be bad for her to have said, we do not know for sure if he was screaming and shouting at her, he may have raised his voice, I know in my life at times when I’ve been upset or even angry I’ve said things wrong when replaying how things have happened, call it exaggeration if you will, sometimes when we get upset it happens. Now if the ladies account of what happened is exactly as described, and if when she has he has a temper and can be moody, she means directed at her, then I will agree it does seem like abuse, if however when she says he has a temper, it’s not directed at her, he gets angered easily for all sorts of things with all sorts of people, then that is not cut and dry abuse

I think you are choosing to not see the posts where someone actually says “yes I hate men” they may have also stated reasons, they may not, now full respect for admitting to this, and maybe when they have said they hate men it was meant sarcastically, however this is not clear, so unless obvious sarcasm I’ll trust the person meant what they said

Cool story, bro.

I’ve read every comment on the thread you linked and there is NOT ONE poster who:

“tried to convince the woman her partner was abusing her”

NOT ONE.

Most posters stated the man’s gift was thoughtless, tone deaf, insulting or insensitive. One poster questioned why the OP always felt the need to back down and apologise— in response to this, ONE person added a red flag emoji. Just TWO comments were deleted by the same poster.

Several people believed OP’s partner tried to do right thing and encouraged OP to be kinder and communicate with her partner during this difficult time (cancer diagnosis and treatment).

However, your claim that “so many people tried to convince the woman her partner was abusing her“ is an outright lie and fully discredits the point you believe yourself to be making.

There is not ONE PERSON on that thread who states OP is being abused. In fact, the word “abuse” doesn’t even appear on that thread.

Funnily enough, no one tells the OP she should LTB either.

Third time lucky with your next link?