My son called me a cunt

Chill out. He is looking for a big reaction. 14yr olds rarely mean the insults they shout at us. Keep the lines of communication open.

Is there any help available via his school? Alternatively your local authority might be able to provide support through its early help team. Does he behave at school?

who has seen too much in his life

Can you give more context, OP? Has he been through any trauma? Not that it’s an excuse to be called a cunt. But what’s recently happened that’s led to this?

Aww, I'm sorry OP, that's horrible

My 14 year old daughter lashes out when annoyed, and although she'd never call me that, she does threaten to go and live with her father every other day.

They can be arseholes and parenting them definitely requires a daily dose of forgiveness, patience and understanding!

That’s a very nasty term of abuse, especially from a child to a parent. And I have had a few, as a parent of a ND child.

In your shoes, I would go on strike and completely stop cooking food for him, laundry or driving him around, Let him no one calls me that without consequences. I’d let him know the ball is in his court now to make amends.

I hope you are OK.

More context needed.

I hope you're ok, OP. It's a shocking thing to hear, but what sort of experience has he been through? Are there other things going on in his life?

Agreed, way more, but the way the OP @Rachel7878 writes, I doubt we are going to get it; instead we’ll get a lot of focus on the word, a lot of kneejerk stuff

Is he in some kind of therapy, if there has been trauma in his life? If not is this something you might be able to access?

If there's been a lot going on then it feels like the word used is irrelevant and the focus should be on helping him deal with the trauma

I'd refuse to do anything nice for him until he apologises.

You are minimising this.
It is completely unacceptable.
Sorry op it must be very upsetting.

What a shocking and mysoginistic thing to say.

Teenagers lash out how they can to get a reaction

It worked. He got one.

Today calmly speak to him
Say you were very hurt that he would be like that with you. And if it happens there will no internet or phone.

If he has seen too much OP he needs counselling. Calling your mother a cunt at 14 shows he is way past any boundaries and probably needs professional help. Children witnessing any form of abuse especially in early years can really damage their emotional development, sense of who they are and how safe they feel - leading them to be angry, unhappy adults.

Focus on who you want this young boy to be as an adult and what you need to do to get him there.

Shouting at him is not going to solve this one OP, the damage has already been done

I once called my mother an f-ing bitch. What that really was was an expression of how much hurt I was carrying. I had been through a lot. Probably your son might benefit from some professional support where he can express everything he's carrying inside him. That said, it's not an acceptable way to express himself.

And…?

Christ you’re in for a rough few years if this is enough to make you reach out and post on MN

What an over reaction.

Someone will soon be along to ask or say it sounds like SEN.
Or get counselling for him or its just the teen years.
What people seem to forget is some kids are just twats get a grip on it now before it gets worse.
And know one should talk to their mum like that.
But you need to let him know.
What if he said it to someone outside to the wrong one thinking hes big and cool he would likely have got a thick ear not everyone will walk away and take his crap.
And piss right of with boundaries that word makes me sick put him in his place once and for all.
Call me a cu#t and ill act like one.
You want to act like a big man ill treat you like one.
Your father dont call me that neither will you.
Hes your son not your friend so make that known right from the off.
Ive noticed some parents are toughing up now because gentle parenting is tuning their kids and teens into entitled selfish wannabes.
And as soon as they hear the word SEN they play on in and a lot of parents are seeing this now.

What has he seen?

Murder? violence? Eurovision? abuse?

Without some context no-one can answer.

Someone will soon be along to ask or say it sounds like SEN.

ive got two boys with autism. You can have SEN and be a fucking wanker and calling your mother a cunt is not SEN it’s being a dick!

without knowing what the “seen too much” involves it’s impossible to advise. If it were one of mine I’d be coming down bloody hard on this. I’d be taking everything out of his room apart from bedding and school uniform. I’d be showing exactly what a cunt I can be. But that might not be appropriate, counselling sounds to be definitely in order but he also needs to be made to understand that this language is beyond unacceptable.

Don't rise to it. He's looking a reaction, don't give it

Why should school sort this? School will be putting up with this and worse from him precisely because he doesn't have manners and hasn't already been reined in at home.

One of mine called his sibling this on the way home from school, in the car. I pulled up and absolutely bollocked him really loudly (we were in standing traffic and most other drivers were school parents) and then put him back in the car and then made him walk the last mile home.

Hasn’t done it since.

In no way is that acceptable, ever.

Because OP alluded to that he ‘had seen too much’ so most likely has witnessed abuse towards her.

The school maybe able to offer counselling. People do not realise the damage caused to kids when they witness abuse.