In-laws still serve me food they know I don't like

It’s not different at all. Religion is a belief… vegetarianism is a belief!…. A moral belief not to eat another mammals flesh!
I’m not a vegetarian and I understand it… you have to be a little daft to think someone should just put up with this disrespect !

Eee God! Never heard vegetarianism referred to as "special needs" before! All these years I could have been claiming disability allowances and I never knew it! 🙄😳

@FeetLikeFlippers you must be really quite pissed to be that amused by an obvious typo made about 40 hours ago. Precisely what does making fun of such a tiny error add to the conversation?

It’s pretty obvious she meant FEED. 🙄

It is a choice yes….. but last time I checked we are entitled to make choices about goes into OUR bodies and that should be respected!….. I’m not a vegetarian but when my DD at 7 announced she no longer wanted to eat pig, I facilitated it… no attempt to ‘trick’ her…. Bought her veggie options to try and changed to chicken or Turkey sausages and mince….
It is OP’s choice not to eat meat products… but it’s also the inlaws choice to be disrespectful tw@ts!
My SIL is vegetarian and she has a different plate to everyone else at my parents so mum knows not to put meat
or gravy on hers…. She then has her own little gravy jug made up with vegetable gravy in… it REALLY isn’t hard!

OP needs to stand up for herself and her husband also does too…. He needs to tell his parents that HE is cross they disrespect his wife’s choice !

@CocoBellaSparkle i think its different with muslim because its religions, its faith. Same thing if OP is alergic with something. Its different. Like i said before many of the old generations dint understand about being vegetarian or vegan. I think rather than stop coming and making situation awkward. I will speak to them and try to understand the situation or ask DH to speak to them. I love having big family and i like to think my in laws as my own family.

To be fair, there are others, RampantIvy for example. There seems to an obligate carnivore faction on the board this evening.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · Today 23:16
MarvellousMonsters · Today 23:02

This is different though, being vegetarian is a choice, being coeliac isn't.
Show quote history
Honestly give me strength. Being vegetarian or vegan is, for the vast majority of people who choose to be so, a philosophical choice because they care about animal welfare.

I'm not vegetarian but I don't eat a number of animal products for animal welfare reasons. I don't eat pork for example. If someone served me roast pork I would eat the vegetables and potatoes. I couldn't force it down as, for no other reason, I really dislike the taste. At a Hogmanay dinner last year roast pork was on offer. The cook didn't know I didn't eat it but because he's not a complete dick (a) he'd prepared a selection of dishes and (b) he wasn't in the least bit bothered as I ate his lovely, non meat dishes.

It's really, really, really not difficult to cook a meal which doesn't contain meat.

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle thank goodness there’s someone talking SENSE! I thought I was starting to go mad 😀

It’s worrying that you can’t see the difference between a vegetarian who morally objects to cooking meat not cooking it for omnivores and a non-vegetarian deliberately choosing to serve food with meat in it. Additionally, given that you, as an adult, didn’t know what gelatine was, I think you’ve been badly let down by the education system.

Either that or you’re just plain old belligerent.

And not even expensive or hard to cook!

There's gazillions of rice and pasta dishes which are far cheaper and easier to cook than a roast dinner.

“don’t worry I will feel myself” !!!???? How is touching herself up at the dinner table going to help? 🤣🤣🤣

• apologies for bad grammar/typos .. sleep deprived and lost my new glasses 🤓

MarvellousMonsters · Today 23:02
LiterallyOnFire · Yesterday 08:22

SIL refuses to recognise my coeliac disease. I just skip trips to see her. Life's too short for nonsense.
This is different though, being vegetarian is a choice, being coeliac isn't.

@MarvellousMonsters - I fail to see your ‘point’ here .. the clue is in the word ‘Choice’ and it’s OPs CHOICE not to eat meat .. so why can’t her in laws RESPECT her choice? We don’t get to dictate what we cook and make for others .. you wouldn’t cook a big pork roast for a Muslim would you? It’s nothing to do with being or not being a ‘coeliac’!

Millions of people worldwide are now vegetarians or vegans and it’s not like it was in 1972 .. there isles of vegetarian/vegan/ plant based foods in every single food store! And not even expensive or hard to cook! There’s ZERO excuses not to accommodate a vegetarian in 2024! It’s just laziness ‘at best’ and disrespect and rude and ill mannered at ‘worst’.

Honestly give me strength. Being vegetarian or vegan is, for the vast majority of people who choose to be so, a philosophical choice because they care about animal welfare.

I'm not vegetarian but I don't eat a number of animal products for animal welfare reasons. I don't eat pork for example. If someone served me roast pork I would eat the vegetables and potatoes. I couldn't force it down as, for no other reason, I really dislike the taste. At a Hogmanay dinner last year roast pork was on offer. The cook didn't know I didn't eat it but because he's not a complete dick (a) he'd prepared a selection of dishes and (b) he wasn't in the least bit bothered as I ate his lovely, non meat dishes.

It's really, really, really not difficult to cook a meal which doesn't contain meat.

It sounds like they’re doing it on purpose in which case it’s extremely rude and passive aggressive - which would make sense as you say they are emotionally controlling. Perhaps they have that weird old-fashioned view that there’s something wrong with being a vegetarian and this some kind of passive-aggressive way of trying to make you realise that you’re wrong and they’re right. Do they ever come to you for dinner and if so what do you give them? I’d make it a plate of bean sprouts next time!

This is daft!
you don’t say anything encase you hurt her feelings?? You’ve been a vegetarian the whole time you’ve known them and they clearly don’t give a hoot about your feelings!
Take your own food and stop worrying about their feelings…. When they ask why politely state that you’re a vegetarian and don’t want to inconvenience them!’
just continue doing it… they’ll either be more respectful or they’ll just except you bringing your own and stop commenting on it!

This is different though, being vegetarian is a choice, being coeliac isn't.

Femme2804 · Today 22:44
Ignore people who said dont come to your in laws anymore. Its your in laws its better to have good relationships at least do it for your DH.

but i agree your in law its a bit rude. If i were in your position i will ask my DH to speak with his parents and said what they do to you its a bit rude by not serving vegetarian food. Sometimes older generations thinks that vegetarian or vegan its just facade. They dont really understand and think if you eat meat a little bit its alright. Maybe your in law like this.

@Femme2804 I (respectfully) completely disagree with your post .. why should she go just because they’re her in laws? Or do it ‘for your DH at the very least’? Why? They’re hardly respecting her are they? Nowadays you can get a pack of meat free pies for a few pounds and the in-laws can shove these in their freezer and cook them from frozen for them the visits .. some oxo onion gravy granules you can buy for a quid and shove in the cupboard .. or even a margarita or veggie supreme pizza .. can get for a couple of pounds to put in the freezer .. it’s really not very expensive or difficult to do! But they CHOOSE to ignore and they CHOOSE to disrespect her lifestyle choices

would you (and others on this thread) give this advice to a Muslim who goes around their in laws and their in laws serves them roast pork? Or bacon butties? I can bet my bottom dollar NO ONE would say ‘oh just have it as a one off ! It’s only six times a year you’ll be eating pork!’

Hear, hear ; there's dumb and dumber and then off the scale.

Ignore people who said dont come to your in laws anymore. Its your in laws its better to have good relationships at least do it for your DH.

but i agree your in law its a bit rude. If i were in your position i will ask my DH to speak with his parents and said what they do to you its a bit rude by not serving vegetarian food. Sometimes older generations thinks that vegetarian or vegan its just facade. They dont really understand and think if you eat meat a little bit its alright. Maybe your in law like this.

OP your in-laws are dicks. I'm a vegetarian and have navigated exactly this issue in all the ways outlined by pp with my own PIL. I've come to the conclusion, that is not my job (or my dh's) to change them. They continue to be the same combination of ignorant ("wafer thin ham") and disrespectful ("for gods sake, it's just a bit of chicken"). I have cooked meat for them on numerous occasions (turkey at Christmas for example), and they continue to cook the vegetables in the sausage juices, or put bacon in the sprouts. I've tried everything. I've brought my own M&S veggie options to have alongside whatever meaty thing they insist on. I've ordered delivery food after dinner. I've made myself a cheese sandwich instead. I've paid for us all to go out to eat instead. I've declined to join them. And I've reminded them before, during and after meals that I don't eat meat. I can't change them. I can only change how I deal with their rude behaviour. I choose to treat myself to my favourite snacks when I'm still peckish at theirs. I choose to indulge in extra dessert (even they find it hard to sneak meat into rhubarb crumble with custard). I choose to not care about the fussy/picky/weird narrative they tell themselves and their friends about me. It's only every couple of months for the sake of the grandkids. They won't be around forever. Choose your own adventure OP.

What an ignorant post.
Anyone who doesn't know that gelatine is derived from animals is remarkably thick.

You sound judgemental, bigoted and uneducated.

Ever heard of Google?

I am an omnivore BTW, but at least I'm not stupid.

This is very true. We know several vegetarians. They would never eat just a little bit of chicken or a tiny bit of bacon. Or fish. Or beef. Just nope.

And there we have it - "special needs" eaters are "too uncomfortable" to cater for other people. But they expect the world to swivel on their special needs.
Normal eaters also get uncomfortable catering to special needs eaters - because who knew gelatine in harmless jelly was an issue? Obviously your special needs eater, always! Who also wishes always to educate people on how "special" their chosen diet is.
And apparently, "special eaters" can't just work out what they can eat from a family meal. They need special treatment and special foods.
Special eaters are a pain in the backside for anyone planning a big family get-together, because they also have "extra rules" and feel "special" educating you.
I won't feed anyone who has an allergy - because I won't take responsibility for accidentally killing someone.
But if you are "special" when it comes to eating in a family group - just bring your own food, instead of inflicting your "special diet" on everyone else.

Vegetarianism is whatever the person wants it to to be and for whatever reason. It's not for others to push their own reasons for not eating meat onto others. I know a few people who are broadly vegan. Do they lapse sometimes ? Yes. Are they still vegan ? Yes.