In-laws still serve me food they know I don't like

When I first met my MIL 10 years ago she had never cooked for a vegetarian! I had a few months of cheese, pittas, nice dips salads etc (absolutely lovely, no complaints) and within months she was making proper vegetarian lasagne for me amongst other delicious things. Because she loves me and I love her and she wants to make me feel welcome.

Yes it is out of order and I wouldn't be going there to eat again

Fine. Absolutely right.

But if you're going to deem standing your ground "ridiculous", you're not leaving yourself any options.

So which is it?

I'd take a plated meal or a ready meal to microwave

Our DIL is a pescatarian. I wouldn’t dream of not catering for her.

This is your issue. Your DH should have sorted this years ago. Why are you so passive?

Your husband is not great if he can’t accept that his family are wrong not to accommodate a simple thing like vegetarianism and if he still expects you to go along and starve to keep the peace for his parents at your expense.

Cook food is very good for dietary needs. She could steer them that way with a gift voucher?

@Kalevala light or blended olive oil is completely fine for roast potatoes. It’s what I always use, and the family say mine are good ones! Extra virgin wouldn’t work, though, so I suppose it depends whether light would be ok for you.

sorry to sidetrack, OP!

They’re being difficult. My cousin joins us for a roast fairly often and she’s veggie. I just siphon off some potatoes before they go in the goose fat for roasting and make mash, and if we’re adding bacon/pancetta to any greens I put a portion aside for her before adding. Shove a couple of veggie sausages under the grill or a nut roast, and buy some preprepared veggie gravy that I can microwave rather than serving her the one with the meat juices. It takes seconds.

Are they doing it on purpose or are just being selfish/thoughtless? They’re buying what THEY want and not even considering you. Or maybe they’re just a bit thick and don’t get it!

I’ve been vegetarian for many years and this has only happened to me once. Someone once gave me chicken sandwiches and said “oh I didn’t think chicken counted as meat”. Ffs. Some people are just a bit dense.

vegetarian here and this would cause me so much anxiety. I can forgive someone forgetting or making a mistake but regularly being served meat would upset me. It’s really disrespectful. It almost feels like a power play here?

I wouldn’t feel able to quiz them on whether the potatoes were covered in animal fat because that feels rude but I also wouldn’t want to eat it without being sure. I would expect my partner to speak to his parents before we got there and sort it and if they kept serving me meat I would eat beforehand and not to be hungry/ have a slice of bread and butter. Which is shit . But my appetite would genuinely disappear if someone put meat on my plate.

i recall my dh family making breakfast for everyone except me,
because they all had bacon and eggs and i was a vegetarian.
but i could have had eggs!
speak up and get your DH to speak up also

@CloudsUnderwater

Being vegetarian is being fussy

This one is bound to be in the top 5 ignorant comments of the thread. ✅😳

They are being rediculous. If I am catering for one vegetarian I just cook a vegetarian meal for everyone. It’s not difficult. Also my little grandson is allergic to eggs. He is two. I would not dream of either giving him eggs, or including them in food

i think I would eat before I left then tell them you have eaten already.

Being a vegetarian is a lifestyle choice. But it’s pretty disrespectful to keep insisting someone go again their beliefs and not accommodate them. If you can’t accommodate them make them aware before they arrive.

i would take my own,
a pie or something, ask if you can pop it in the oven to cook

It's easy to put some cooked peas to the side and then toss the rest in meat. OP is saying the in-laws can't even do that for her.

Even though I eat meat,
I think they are being inhospitable towards you.

Op I don't know why you just don't tell them you are being silly.

why would they put pancetta with peas?

My vegetarian DH wouldn't eat any food on a plate that had meat on it.

If they are doing that it means you really can't trust anything they serve you. They won't be using different utensils or chopping boards.

Why? You've said it yourself in a previous post. It's a control thing. How will you react? Will you say something which will given them cause to get upset so you have to apologise, or will you not eat it but leave some so they can get upset and you have to apologise.

You're absolutely right, it's not that hard to just serve plain veg.

Your DH needs to step up and tell them it's not on. And don't go for meals. There will be a period of awkwardness, but you can break this cycle. They are being rude and controlling.