In-laws still serve me food they know I don't like

I take my own food for exactly this reason, just something quick and easy which can go in the microwave. This works for me and saves whoever is hosting having to go out of their way to make something different.

It’s really not that difficult. If someone thinks it is so hard to swap goose fat for olive oil to accommodate someone in their family once in a while then it says more about them.

I’ve just done a kids party where there were multiple allergies to accommodate. It maybe took an extra hour of thinking and researching to make sure the food was safe and appropriate for all. It’s not that hard.

I think there's often quite a bit of resentment from some meat eaters about possibly having to eat their potatoes without goose fat or beef dripping because 'it just isn't the same'. If that isn't being fussy, what is? The odd meal where the potatoes/vegetables are cooked differently isn't going to hurt. I eat meat myself but it's not the be all and end all.

Having principles about the cruelty involved in meat production is being 'fussy'? How about I redefine all meat eaters as 'callous'. Does that work for you?

How about religious food restrictions, such as not eating pork? Too fussy for you? Are coeliacs fussy too? People with severe food allergies?

Wow they are really really shit. It's not too hard to accommodate this. I had shit PIl now no contact.

Well, it's about taste and how you do them I suppose.
I'm not vegetarian either. But prefer potatoes roasted in olive oil. Far superior in my opinion.

I can understand the roast potatoes in goose fat thing, especially if it just doesn't cross their mind because they've always done them that way or they have another reason to do that.

But having a mix of peas and pancetta just seems like they're trolling you. If people want those mixed together they can do that themselves. Bizarre.

I'm surprised they haven't learned over this length of time so I would be suspicious. I woudld eat before I go and just start telling them you have a dodgy tummy, every time. If they get suspicious and ask, just remind them you're a vegetarian. They can have hurt feelings oevr that, it's not a big deal.

Roast potatoes just aren't as good without goose or duck fat, it's just not possible.

Have you asked them why? I would suggest to them that you can bring your own food to be cooked there if they can’t accommodate- no meat! I’m vegetarian, I always call ahead with my parents as sometimes they forget and I bring something with me.

I use olive oil for my roast potatoes and they are delicious!

But they don't appear to make any effort. And if you don't want to cook for peoples needs and wants don't invite them over.

I wouldn’t invite someone over if I felt I couldn’t accommodate them.
It’s very rude

Why can't you?

Because some people are better cooks that others. My mother can probably cook a roast dinner in her sleep, whereas for me it would be a huge undertaking- throw in cooking another dish at the same time or keeping and eye on an extra meals timing and I will find it hard!!

Yes. You can.

Oh ffs being vegetarian is not being fussy!!! It’s polite to accommodate dietary needs when people come over to eat otherwise why invite them!

I wouldn’t dream of serving meat to a vegetarian and expect them to eat because they’re just being fussy…

It’s so strange isn’t it?! I’m a vegetarian who will eat pretty much anything except meat, don’t expect much effort, but typically when I am a guest people are keen to accommodate me, more keen than I need or expect often! But this is because people generally who are hosting want to do so.

Yes me too. In fact it’s the only oil I use and it is used for everything.

Luckily all my family and friends respect my vegetarianism. I’ve sent back plenty of “vegetarian” meals in restaurants though.

But the family preference is for goose fat potatoes, with the juices from the beef poured over- why should everyone get a lesser meal for one persons preference? I am not saying she shouldn’t be accommodated- it was just when she said how hard is it? Well if you were coming to dinner at mine I would be putting in significant effort. So yes it is difficult.

and presumably she isn’t just eating peas- she does want a main and some carbs.

I would eat before you go...then when dishes get brought out, you can sit there all sad faced, saying "oh, I can't eat that it's got pancetta in' etc etc. shame the fuckers .. just repeat yourself. "Well, you know I'm vegetarian". Just sit there picking through a little pile of carrots, with a sad face 😂. I'd so do this. And keep saying "the carrots are lovely btw".
And just keep doing it (if you feel you have to go). I probably wouldn't at this stage.
Honestly, life is too short to pander to everyone's sensitivities and bullshit. Especially for nonsense such as this.

What a weird attitude to hosting a meal, to feel resentful of people’s dietary preferences. Most people want to accommodate their guests!

Honestly I can’t fathom why people seem to find cooking for vegetarians so hard (and I’m a meat eater with a couple of vegetarian mates).

It’s really not hard to put a ready made veggie alternative to meat in the oven and cook veg without additions/in a veg or seed oil.

with me its anything cabbagey. My parents never forced me but school did.

It doesn’t mean cooking separate potatoes and Yorkies. You just cook everyone’s in vegetable oil. It really isn’t hard at all.