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Original poster

In-laws still serve me food they know I don't like

816 replies

spotlightq · 01/04/2024 08:06

Husband and I have been married for 7 years, together 9. I have been a vegetarian the entire time.

Every time we come here to eat, I'll be offered/given something containing meat. I have to then feel rude and say no thank you.

For example yesterday the peas were ready prepared with mint and bloody pancetta. My plate was dished up for me, so I ended up having to leave a load of food on my plate. It looks rude from my side, but I think it's rude of them.

How hard is it!

OP posts:
NaiceUser · 01/04/2024 18:34

Warmwoolytights · 01/04/2024 11:47

Sounds great. Rest of the family eat a nice hot lunch and you eat a cheese sandwich. Obviously that’s the problem sorted.

Biscuit
toomanyy · 01/04/2024 18:26

NaiceUser · 01/04/2024 18:24

@toomanyy Your DH sounds terrified of you

Why, because he ensures I have food at his family’s meals?

I do the same for him at my family’s.

NaiceUser · 01/04/2024 18:24

@toomanyy Your DH sounds terrified of you

NaiceUser · 01/04/2024 18:20

@CloudsUnderwater I'm allergic to meat. I am most definitely NOT being fussy

NaiceUser · 01/04/2024 18:19

Dewdilly · 01/04/2024 08:08

Your title is misleading. I was ready to come on and say you’re an adult, so eat what you are given and don’t be fussy. But being vegetarian is completely different and your in-laws should accommodate you.

eat what you're given and don't be fussy 😯 How fucking rude! If you spoke to me like that in my home you'd be told to leave

PocketSand · 01/04/2024 18:17

Yeah, they really don't like you and serving food they know that you have a problem with is a gift to them. There is no right way to respond unless you capitulate. Then they win. You lose if you don't capitulate so they win either way.

Nkoku · 01/04/2024 18:00

Have you considered taking your own food in Tupperware and if they ask what you’re doing, say “I’ve brought my own because you’re incapable of following a simple request”. Adding “you fucknuts” at the end of that sentence is optional.

Soigneur · 01/04/2024 17:58

haveyoutriedturningitoffandonagain · 01/04/2024 08:40

It's far too hot for olive oil.

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This is rubbish. What oil do you think Italians use for patate al forno?. The smoke point of refined olive oil is well over 200°C.

InSpainTheRain · 01/04/2024 17:55

Stop letting them control you! Fade them out slowly, decrease the number of times you eat there, and if you do have a meal there take your own. So what if they are upset? They don't seem to care about you do they?

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 01/04/2024 17:53

spotlightq · 01/04/2024 08:26

If this were us, DH would tell parents we’re leaving and take me to a restaurant for my favourite food.

Ridiculous. Plus we had two children asleep upstairs.

What's ridiculous about it? Or are you determined to be a martyr.

Oneofthesurvivors · 01/04/2024 17:52

Calliopespa · 01/04/2024 17:44

Yes it’s one thing to not want to eat meat. It’s another to prima donna flounce off to “ favourite” food.

That only creates a tug of war between two sides being unreasonable.

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If feeding me food I didn't want or like was repeated behaviour I'd have no problem leaving to get food elsewhere.

caringcarer · 01/04/2024 17:46

Oneofthesurvivors · 01/04/2024 08:19

Of course you can.

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Why can't you do that? Of course you can.

Calliopespa · 01/04/2024 17:44

spotlightq · 01/04/2024 08:26

If this were us, DH would tell parents we’re leaving and take me to a restaurant for my favourite food.

Ridiculous. Plus we had two children asleep upstairs.

Yes it’s one thing to not want to eat meat. It’s another to prima donna flounce off to “ favourite” food.

That only creates a tug of war between two sides being unreasonable.

Crispsandcola · 01/04/2024 17:39

I could see an odd mistake here and there like serving something with gelatin in by accident but deliberately putting meat in the veg? Come on that's just deliberate. I wouldn't worry about bring rude if I were you.

phoenixrosehere · 01/04/2024 17:39

*Why should they accommodate her?

Being vegetarian is being fussy, reason is irrelevant. Vegetarians are no more morally superior than any other fussy eater.*

Who said they were morally superior and why is such nonsense always trotted out by people who think leaving out meat is so hard when there are plenty of dishes that people eat that are naturally vegetarian. People who can’t go without meat for a single meal and make it out as a hardship are more fussy and ridiculous imo.

Do you cook meat into every dish you have?

Gaia1111 · 01/04/2024 17:35

just don't bother

KomodoOhno · 01/04/2024 17:27

I am not a vegetarian by any means but how damn hard is it to make some vegetarian dishes! Especially for family. YANBU

housethatbuiltme · 01/04/2024 16:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I'm vegetarian because I'm allergic to galactose which is in most meat products and its the easiest way to safely describe a diet I can eat. There are many other condition that cause people to have to be vegetarian or vegan. Can we stop with the ignorant 'you made a life style choice, you think your better than me' crap.

Literally no one has said they are 'morally superior' talk about bloody projecting, do you take that same ignorant attitude with coeliacs or people with nut and fish allergies?

sueelleker · 01/04/2024 16:27

loropianalover · 01/04/2024 15:48

You’re adding to the problem by allowing them to control you.

You’re the fool for sitting hungry every week when you could just make something for yourself. Why don’t you bring a veggie dish for the table and a side, and eat from that?

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I wouldn't bring the veggie dish "for the table". They sound like the sort of people to help themselves to it, and you'd still be left hungry. Plate it up for yourself.

RampantIvy · 01/04/2024 16:18

I used to like chorizo, but it has been overused in so many things now.

I love entertaining and feeding friends and family. I also love a challenge.
We have one vegetarian, one pescatarian and two vegans in the family, one of whom is allergic to nuts.

It really isn't difficult to find something that everyone can enjoy, but I love cookery shows and cooking and I am very broad minded when it comes to trying new things (although, I draw the line at trying snails).

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 01/04/2024 16:15

godmum56 · 01/04/2024 16:12

oh and vomit inducing chorizo in EVERYTHING

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Oh I'm with you there. Hate chorizo.

godmum56 · 01/04/2024 16:12

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 01/04/2024 15:38

Bloody marks and Spencers, they're terrible for doing stuff like that.
Put all kinds of shit in stuff.
Butter in the vegetables, pancetta in the peas etc
Crap if you're vegan or milk intolerant/allergic as you have to be so careful!

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oh and vomit inducing chorizo in EVERYTHING

Kalevala · 01/04/2024 16:11

Melroses · 01/04/2024 15:14

I have roasted potatoes in extra virgin olive oil and they come out fine, if a little greenish. Just roast them more slowly at 180/90 or so. They are nice with crushed rosemary and garlic in the oil.

Another choice is rape seed oil which can take higher temperatures. Cold pressed is minimally processed and it doesn't have a strong favour. They come out crispier with this, rather than the olive oil.

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I normally do potatoes at 200/180 fan, fat hot in the pan first. I do veggies at 180 in olive oil, and they work fine, but I'd thought the potatoes would be too hot. Seems people are saying they're not, though.

I'd heard cold pressed rapeseed oil was okay to use, but it's just buying it, cooking, then the risking feeling crap when I already have alternatives I know I'm fine with. If someone else was hosting so it was only the possible side effects I would give it a try!

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 01/04/2024 15:57

Cross posted

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 01/04/2024 15:57

totallybonkerswarning · 01/04/2024 15:54

Wine isn't usually vegetarian - made with isinglass. I'm an ex- vegetarian hence knowing this

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Not always, there's a lot of vegetarian and even vegan wines about now.