In-laws still serve me food they know I don't like

Or just not go. Much simpler.

That actually means you DO eat UFPs.

It might be an extreme reaction - but you’d only have to do it once.

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle
But I can find enough vegetarian recipes that don’t involve tofu or fake meat or cheese that I can happily cater for a vegetarian without repetition, hesitation (or deviation) for a few days
I think it's a bit unfair to lump tofu into the same sentence as fake meat or cheese - it's a food in its own right and can be a staple of Asian cuisine.

Absolutely re the fake meat. I’ve been veggie for 35 years and vegan for the past 4. I don’t know anyone past a transitional stage who eats this stuff. There’s so many delicious recipes out there - tofu is fantastic Theres so much you can cook that’s vegetarian, beautiful healthy tasty meals. There’s a weird thing going on with some meat eaters, is it a control thing, a guilt thing about lack of will power?? Who knows!

so having the odd bit of meat for the sake of family harmony could be a big deal for them.

I guarantee it will be a big deal. To even say it "could be" really minimises their beliefs. I'm not vegetarian but there are certain animal products I absolutely will not eat because of welfare issues. It would be a "very big deal" to have to eat them.

Tofu is not fake anything and is very easy to incorporate into recipes. Fake meat and fake cheese are revolting. About 80% of what I cook is vegetarian or vegan. I don't want it to taste like meat. I eat venison and game and if I want something that tastes of meat, that's what I'll eat. I'm not a vegetarian but the ones I know who are don't want meat or stuff that tastes of meat.

It really isn't difficult to cook a meal with no meat. There must be 1000's of cookbooks available. Or The Guardian's weekly Feast section. Usually at least 75% of the recipes are vegetarian. Or download the menu of any Italian or Greek restaurant, half of them will be vegetarian.

It sounds like they're deliberately cooking with animal
products to spite you, honestly.

I don't understand the bigotry from the, thankfully few, ignorant posters and people in general who won't can't cater for vegetarians.

Either they are being deliberately unkind or they are monumentally thick.

Vegetarianism is pretty mainstream these days and every supermarket has a vegetarian section.

@spotlightq why is not going to the inlaws not an option? Can you visit less frequently?

Do you think they’d serve Hindus and Buddhists meat OP? Or Jewish people pork?

It’s probably just you that they’re winding up.

What will happen about dc's meals at ils op? Mil once told me she would be feeding my vegi dc meat when I wasn't there... Dh fully supported them not eating meat.. Simply put dc never stayed there without me.

I have seen people on here who say that, having been vegetarian for a long time, meat and meat products actually upset their digestion and make them uncomfortable and sick, @ChedderGorgeous - so having the odd bit of meat for the sake of family harmony could be a big deal for them.

I am perfectly happy to eat vegetarian meals sometimes - though I don’t like the taste or texture of vegetarian meat substitutes. But I can find enough vegetarian recipes that don’t involve tofu or fake meat or cheese that I can happily cater for a vegetarian without repetition, hesitation (or deviation) for a few days at least. Doing it for longer would require more research, but cooking vegetarian food is no harder than cooking meat based meals. Any good cook can do it.

Me too! Fingers crossed for you OP @spotlightq

Hope the OP comes back and tells us what ILs served her for dinner today, 🤞 veggie dinner.

Not over the top or ridiculous in the slightest, as many others have agreed. A loving and supportive partner would not be oblivious to something like this

They are not catering to you therefore hosting you. Whether out of being thick, set in ways, malicious or forgetful I don't know.

Choices are

Do actually pulls his finger out and has a fucking conversation with them. If they persist Dp and you do one of the following.

Order a takeaway. Indian, Chinese whatever is open. Make it clear this is because food is a fundamental need and they historically have show they can't or won't cater to you. Point out how many dishes have been made vegetarian and how. (Chickens not a vegetable so I order it without)

Bring your own. Explain as above.

Pretend to being a contribution and watch as the only thing you can fucking eat is demonslished by people who can't imagine a meal without meat. Or plenty of comments about how it looks icky.

People are dicks about not eating meat. They think it's some sort of moral high ground. But you don't have to lie down and accept it. No that's not vegetarian is not rude. Repeatedly banging on about the slaughter and farming practices of lamb whilst they eat it is rude, but in the circumstances I'd give you a pass.

Upthread - have a look at her posts.

Sorry to be clear, I agree bringing own food would appear to be the only answer. But don't pander to their idiocy by pretending it's "hard to cater for vegetarians".

(Unless that can be conveyed dripping with sarcasm)

yes it's not hard,
yes IL are dicks for not catering to OP
Yes I'd be fed up of never getting to eat at an IL event,

not pandering to it for them, I'm bringing my own food so I get to eat, after all, OP stated she wasn't going to stop going to events, they have already brought it up to death... so it's the only thing to do if they want to eat.

Horrible in laws. I'm so sorry @spotlightq that's disgusting.

Why pander to this nonsense?

I'd bring my own food, under the guise of "something for us all to share", "as I know it must be hard to cater for me being vegetarian".

It is not difficult to cook a meal which is meat free. It's only "hard" if you're all or any of lazy, thick, small minded, petty and insular.

this.

I'd be bringing some food. Easy enough to stage it as contributing.

As someone who has a lot of food allergies I take my own!!
I then make a point of putting it in the fridge or cooking it when I am there. I would even take my air fryer if they complained there was no cooking space!!!

They control you with their moods because you allow it. Put your foot down!

Where did OP say she made her own potatoes today!?!?