In-laws still serve me food they know I don't like

Extremely intelligent?!

Your wording is rather impolite and vegetarians are just fussy eaters. . Vegetarians don't eat meat for a range of health, environmental, ethical, religious or economic reasons.

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle but OPs ILs don't do the same as you 🤷‍♀️ !

It’s a common practice - happens in many houses. Obviously it’s not universal and many others use serving dishes at the table.

Does that cover it?

Well, that’s your house. The fact that you don’t do it doesn’t mean plating up isn’t normal.

Not in my house it isn't. Unless the food was a one item dish like macaroni cheese or at a push chilli and rice or shepherd's pie. I wouldn't put accompanying vegetables on plates. They'd be on the table for guests to help themselves.

so if you serve a meal to guests plated up without checking what they would like first (or how much), is it seen as rude if they don't eat it all because either it's too much and it will be wasted or there are bits they can't stand? Under normal circumstances I mean - not when a vegetarian has been served peas with bacon in.

Op explained that the food is dished up for her

Yes. This is perfectly normal.

even to their guests?

I’d say this exactly how a good proportion of people serve food. Plated up.

@spotlightq I can't understand why you are not all sitting at the table and being offered food for your plate at the start of the mean (which you say yes or no to). Why are they assuming that everyone at the table has everything? Surely when the meal is served and they offer peas you can say no?

Obviously they shouldn't be offering you non-vegetarian food - but surely they don't just hand everyone an identical plate of food without asking what to put on it?

If they did that to me after all that time I would order a take away on Just Eat.

The added bonus of course being anything vegetarian is also halal, kosher and ok for Hindus.

For anyone that is interested the best trick is to buy own brand. Laces and ribbons often are, things like the jelly eggs and mixed bags rarely are. I have found every supermarket carries at least one vegetarian type in the three for 40p type section. Refresher and wham bars so look for packs that have them. Also all the sherberty based sweets like lovehearts and refresher lollies and many of the lollies are a safe bet. I just buy a pack of them as they keep all year round and do for all seasons, birthdays, end of school, Halloween etc.

Anyone who gives a vegetarian child haribos is a bit thick frankly.

Although that one does sometimes on how strict they are. But you’d always assume not.

It is surprising how few sweets are vegetarian though. I’ve trawled through trying to find them on a few occasions.

I agree with pp, it’s hilarious that you excuse the omnivore adult for not knowing gelatine is derived from animals but are being quite ‘vitriolic’ about a child for being confident enough to speak up and flag up something that was unfair.

Do you not see that it’s the fact she was ‘outspoken’ enough to call it out that she got vegan sweets the next time?

We should model inclusivity to children, not majority rules.

🤣

I love the fact that we are to give the fully grown adults stealth planting bacon in everything the benefit of the doubt because it's such a social baffling minefield, but a child needs the language skills of a police negotiater to get something sans pig bones.

My favourite meat eater 'whoops' moment was when one of my flatmates put baconfat a whole load in my teacup. Thinking it was clean I made tea, tasted it and then was understandably upset. I was told by all four flatmates I was being unreasonable.

I still maintain it is unlikely she wanted a cup of bacon fat as I have neither before nor since seen anyone do so and have added it to the substantial evidence that she's a cunt.

No one is blaming the child for the fact it had gelatine sweets in their party bag. A number of people, however, thought the child was outspoken, given it was a gift.

Not - gasp! - outspoken?! 😱😱 Nooooo!!! How dare a mere child stand up for themselves?!

You are giving the child the lions share of the social awareness responsibility by expecting them to know how to respond without "announcing". That tells me you are holding them to too high a standard for a child. So either you do this for all children or are in fact, prejudiced.

Of course children have social skills of a child. This child, however, used a style that could only be called announcing. It would have been an announcement whatever they were concerned about.

I think you are overreaching now to try to make the point that vegetarians are persecuted. I can agree that sometimes they are inadequately catered for . I also agree that some people make an inadequate effort. However I disagree that it is always lazy or stupid or intentional. It is sometimes oversight as human error by people who are not especially tuned into the concept, but who wouldn’t do so with malice.

Well, children have much more difficulty navigating social situations because they are learning. This includes not knowing social niceties and voice volume.

It's interesting how people are able to give them understanding in most situations but if it's a vegetarian suddenly they are meant to have the social skills of an adult. I've been a vegetarian since I was in infant school. I know exactly what sort of adult thinks it is 'outspoken' and voice that aloud to other adults. They were usually the ones trying to prove vegetarians were stupid because I couldn't beat them in an argument when I had the language and debate skills of a normal six year old. 🙃

I think a good idea would be for you to reflect on if you would use that same language to describe a Muslim or Hindu child in the same situation. Remembering that this is a child with a child's language and social skills.

I wouldn't call it over sensitive just controlling

Tbh you are sounding vitriolic. People can slip up on vegetarian requirements without meaning to.