Does this sound financially fair?

I honestly wouldn’t bring the dog into the conversation regarding the split of the house. Don’t compromise, he will really take advantage. Just simply advise you are taking the dog when know you are going and the finances are in place.
Really glad for you that you have come this far. I hope you can feel happiness just around the corner . Keep going…

Excellent news.

Is the upside of his acting like nothing has happened that you feel more emotionally detached, or is it just astonishingly weird?

He has as much (more) to lose than you do by dragging it out and making it go through the solicitors. Make sure your solicitors are savvy and do the sums and don’t let him rip you off.

And Congratulations! 🥳

I'm SO pleased to hear that things are moving forward OP, do let us know how he reacts once he realises how much he actually needs to pay you. Who exactly is going to work this out?

Can he afford to buy you out, or does the house need to be sold.

Well done @runningaway90

no advice as I have had a glass of wine 😳

but sending you well wishes and praise for how well you are doing!

and are you starting to make appointments to view places to live, or are you sorted already.

Yes be strong, know your worth!! Next stop solicitor ?? You’ve got this, you really have x

Followed from the start OP and feel so pleased you’ve finally managed to break free of him.

Be kind to yourself. Take it a step at a time and its onwards and upwards from here.

You have to pay 2/3 of the mortgage until it’s cleared? Apologies, I havent read the entire thread but surely the interest you are paying alone would be more than his down payment. A large down payment in part to you contributing to his last mortgage! He is taking the absolute mick. This sounds like a very controlling relationship.

I've been following your thread from the start op. I know how hard it can be to make that break. But you've done it!!! Well done.

Just take one day at a time, but keep moving forward.

You feel broken the truth is you were broken before this you just couldn’t see it but you have already started to rebuild, you have been doing it inside the damage area but you have been tentatively putting little pieces in a pile, hiding them ready to put back together one day.

im really sorry I know this must feel awful but you are slowly getting towards the end and from here the damage he can do will hit less and less until you reach the light because you are closing off from him.

get everything you can out of therapy tomorrow. Maybe ask if you can book another session sooner so you can use one for this and the other to put together logistics and plan for what comes next.

tell your family immediately that you are no longer together. Also as you are still planning on being in the same house ask if its ok to call at a mutually agreed time just so you have someone checking in with you once a day as an extra layer of safety net.
tell your therapist unless I cancel that it should be a red flag if you don’t attend your appointment.

im not trying to scare you but you know this is the most common time for things to escalate and I want you to have some safety measures in place because you won’t have any safe space from him.
Personally I would talk to mum sister or a friend and ask if it would be possible if you need it to stay.
either way make sure everything important is away at one of their homes incase you find yourself having to leave for the final time without notice.

as far as the dog is concerned you’ll sort that however you can when you can but you can’t do anything until you are in a position of safety. I know that’s a horrible way to think because you love your dog but it’s the reality for now.

im sending you everything iv got @runningaway90 keep you head down and keep going you are nearly there..

Like other posters OP, I'm sorry that you're feeling so broken, but sadly all too often we have to get to this point before we can move forward, so in that respect I'm glad that the scales have finally fallen from your eyes. Let us know how you get on with your counselling session today. Sending a hug to keep you strong.

I'm feeling so relieved for you, I've followed this thread since you first posted, and as time went on I've often thought about you in between your posts. It can feel so difficult to leave a relationship when finances/lives are so entwined, but there's always that 'straw that broke the camels back', and last night seems to have been that straw for you.

I feel like the situation will likely become very difficult for you with exDP and his mother, but all you need from this is what's rightfully yours financially and hopefully the dog.

Please continue to keep us updated, we're all rooting for you xx

Best of luck 🤞

So sorry you feels so broken op, but glad it's finally over. Wishing you peace and relief in the near future. Hugs.

Wow…I am sorry for your upset but also proud that you have got to a point where you can walk away. Although you may be hurt you have obviously found your inner strength to just end it.
try just to be practical now and get the finances split accordingly in terms of releasing your assets so that you can move on with your own place or otherwise.
really brave…well done. I hope it feels as though a weight has been lifted x

You'll get there, OP, and I promise things will be a million times better for you. I was in a relationship with a similar man (in fact I didn't realise just HOW financially abusive he was until I left and told people the full extent of our relationship), and I get the fear of the unknown in terms of leaving. Once you get the courage to take that step, your life will be so much happier.

@runningaway90 . I think you should put the house on the market. If he won't agree, you need to engage a solicitor to force a sale. Even if he ends up buying you out, it will be the only way you can get what you are legally entitled to, rather than what he thinks is fair.

I agree with this comment, based on what you have already shared it seems to me like he will continue to expect the same financial contributions from you but most likely you will be the predominant caregiver to any children. This will effect your earning potential. If you think you are stressed now having even one child will increase the stress by double (at minimum) if these conditions continue to exist.