Does this sound financially fair?

Not surprising at all that he's wanting to keep your money, he's a very selfish and grabby person in all aspects. It's devastating to feel you won't walk away with what's fair, but at least you have walked away, a worse outcome would have been spending your entire life overpaying for that house. Sorry to hear about the dog, but again my first thought is thank god you didn't stay and have children with this man.
I hope it all gets settled soon and with the help of your family you can buy a place thats just yours.

No surprise to either bit of your reply :(

What a shame, he has turned out to be a right bastard ! and I rarely use that word !!!
All this talk about buying you out etc / increasing the mortgage

What ever did happen re the roof ?

you may have said in a previous update ? but that bloody roof is one thing that stuck in my mind

and of course ddog.

Onwards and upwards. Make sure you keep up therapy do all possible courses so you aren’t vulnerable to another abuser in the future.

Ah that is so lovely to hear. Once finances are sorted there will be no stopping you. Can you block him to prevent any fitter messages - particularly if it is in the hands of a legal team.
sounds like you are thriving - well done x

So pleased to hear this. Crossing fingers for a smooth and favourable conclusion.

That's WONDERFUL news OP! I'm so happy for you! I remember right back to your first post, was it really 2 years, where does the time go? I was so pleased when you finally made the break, and to hear that you're now finally seeing the rewards of your bravery, is great news to start the weekend off. Be happy, and make the most of life, you have a fresh start, ENJOY! Best wishes x

It's been a long long journey, but you have done it.
Such a shame it has needed to involve solicitors.

Always glad to hear from you, and know how you are doing, no matter what. Even better of course to hear that things are looking up and some clear air and fresh winds are blowing through your life. Keep doing what you are doing, remaking your life every day and surviving the difficult patches with newfound resilience - your strength was always there and has seen you through this long struggle to break out of a trap. To experience a normal kind of life and relationship is joy but caution as you say and take it step by step. Keep us posted as you feel and whatever happens.

I'm always so glad to see an update and this is a fantastic one! Sorry to hear the financials are still dragging on but that just shows how ridiculously complicated it had all been made by him.
Would love to keep seeing updates, especially once the money side is all sorted x

Glad to hear you are thriving - dog-walking friends are excellent for increasing happiness!

If this helps, use it, but if it doesn't, discard it: reading through your posts tonight has helped me to see that I might be able to leave a similar situation. It's complicated as it involves marriage and kids, but there is hope.
Every week I look at flats for sale.
This man has made me believe I just don't understand finances. That I'd fail without him. And, silly as it sounds, I'd be leaving our elderly dog. Sometimes the dog has been the only thing stopping me.

So, do this for yourself. Yes, it took a fee goes. I've tried to leave so many times, and everytime I believe things will get better. And they do! But because I have changed more to fit him.

And if you can't do this for you, and if it helps to think about it a different way, do it for me, to give hope to others reading your story.

It is a bit of a let down when you get out of a bad situation; all your hyper aware feelings that were keeping you alive turn off and it all feels a bit like living in black and white; suffering is in Technicolor but recovery is pretty sepia.

You will laugh and thrive again, but it takes time to unwind from years of emotional drudgery.

So sorry to hear you're still struggling OP. However, leaving a partner who you thought you would be with for life, is almost worse than a bereavement, as there is always the chance that you could bump into the person again, just as you're beginning to feel stronger, and this can really set you back.

Also, people can have a tendency to be rather tactless, asking if you've heard how the ex is getting on, that they've got a new job, new partner, new home, etc. All of these things hurt, because however bad things were when you finally found yourself able to end them, at one point, you loved this person, and thought you would be with them for EVER!

However, NOTHING lasts for EVER! Not the good things, and definitely NOT THE BAD either! As my DM used to say, you have to experience bad times to recognise the good times when they come along.

You WILL have good times again, it might just take a while, but in the meantime, count your blessings, as you have at least managed to leave. Other women will no doubt be writing on MN in the next few days, asking for advice on how to get away from an abusive man, they still have to go through the emotions brought about by the need to leave, and you at least have been lucky enough to have a LOT of support, which some people just don't have.

So get on and enjoy life the best you can, because as the old saying goes 'life is not a rehearsal'. I'm in my late 60's, and life is difficult for me due to ill health, so make the most of EVERY MINUTE, as you never know when the opportunities that you thought would be there for many years to come, might be cut short, and you don't want to end up regretting wasting time dwelling on 'what might have been', you NEED to make every minute count.

Good luck, and well done!

I imagine you have a lot to grieve. Be gentle with yourself.

Hey, so lovely to hear an update. I was just windering how you were getting along and was gonna find the post and ask for an update.
you are definitely not weak, don’t be too hard on yourself. Manipulating people have a way of getting round you. The point is you are where you are now. I hope you are feeling proud - you should be. It isn’t easy moving forward. But you have. Enjoy your Christmas with your puppy - how cute.

Congratulations op! Glad you made it. I remember this thread -great to hear that you got away.

That's a blast from the past! It's good to hear from you - thanks for coming back. It's a bit of a difficult thing to read after all the struggles you had to break free. You did find it almost impossible to make it happen. It was a titanic struggle and something - perhaps a kernel of fear - always intervened to frustrate your resolution to walk away. Staying away proved to be another challenge but you've been there and back and now have put it behind you finally.
I hope you are getting on well in your career - I remember how you went for promotion and were doing so well - and living arrangements. It all must have taken a lot out of you but also given you new strength and confidence in yourself from what you have achieved. It would be nice to keep in touch and to hear from you as you go forward, with finances still to sort out and a new way of life to build. Best wishes for a happy Christmas in the meantime and a better new year in the offing.