Excluding a friend?

@theilltemperedclavecinist amazing analogy 🤣

@StephPlum it's really simple. You tell both you will, going forward, be inviting both to all group things. If one self excludes that's on them. F2 is the only one giving ultimatums...

Can you really find anything worthy of respect in Friend 2's side, though? She is upset at the accusation towards her child and angry at the person who made it. She is lashing out at the person who made it in fact, and insisting you all align with her. I don't doubt that she is upset and that that is distressing to view, but surely you can't morally agree with her viewpoint (which seems to be that Friend 1 shouldn't have made a fuss/said the true things she said).

So F1 did exactly the right thing for her child and by school expectations and F2 deemed it underhanded? So F1 shouldn't have raised it with F2 in fear of her reaction nor raise it with the school? What exactly was she meant to do to help her child?

She also give you your friend group an ultimatum about the friendship? And you are happy that you're friend assumes she has that much control over you? Did anyone call out her completely inappropriate behaviour on the Whatsapp rant?

F2 is the problem. Parents rarely move their children in year 6. So I absolutely believe her child was in the position they were. F2 dismissing the situation as lies would have been very difficult for F1. Despite that she was willing to put it aside for the sake of the friendship group, reached out to be ignored and is willing be a group.

F2 has created this whole problem. Pretty clear where her child learned to be a bully.

OP are you friend 2?

Why do you act as if F1 is the one who's going to be able to sort this out? You're like a drunk looking for his house keys under a streetlight even though that's not where he lost them.

Because sometimes parents have to hear that thier children can be unkind.

Why on earth should Friend 1 keep quiet.

You really don't sound a understanding friend at all. Friend 2 throws her toys about the pram so you all pander to her.

Friend 1 has tried to resolve the situation with more grace than many others would but is treated as though she's done something wrong. To be quiet honest, she's better off away from you all and the drama.

Friend 2 sounds manipulative and hard work. I would invite the whole group to get togethers, and if F2 doesn’t come, that’s up to her.

When you see F1 really listen to what she says.
I think what you are not seeing is that F2 is now using her bullying behaviour to control you all and go after F1, this is what "queen bees" do, they think the world should revolve around them and their narrative and when it does they attack.
Realistically if I was you I would be withdrawing from F2 as she's going to be looking for the next person who doesn't meet her "standards"

i hope you’ll be apologising profusely and telling f1 you didn’t realise you’re playing into f2s hands.

Well we know where Friend 2’s child got the bullying tendencies from.

‘If’ being the operative word.

F2 has no right to be offended if her child is a bully, so much so that a child had to move school

Friend 2 is a selfish drama queen.

Can you imagine behaving like this if it was you? Not even being willing to consider the possibility that your pfb has been behaving badly and taking it out on everyone around you?

She should be ashamed of herself but doesn't sound like the kid of person who ever would be.

I don’t know why people are so hard lined on this friendship issue. Sounds like you’re doing a great job maintaining your friendships with both women. No reason why you shouldn’t. All mama bears protect their children and unless you know that friend two is a party to bullying, you have no reason to choose sides. It’s possible that friend one is a bit more sensitive when it comes to her child and there is nothing wrong with that. Friend two is offended and that’s her right as well. Let them work out their differences and you continue to be Switzerland. The people making the harsh comments sound like bullies themselves. I know! They’ll be coming after me now, saintly people that they are.

You are coming across as one of F2’s sheep @StephPlum. F2 is the Queen Bee and you continue to orbit her social skills because it’s easier to do this - and it suits you - than to back up F1. F2 has isolated F1 now by “taking offense” rather than dealing with the issue:

Good, then everyone will know what a bitch F2 is and maybe she can get a taste of her own medicine!

You can report it to MN using the "report" button at the bottom of the post and ask them to delete it

• QUICK!!!! 😁

Ahh nuts ….. can I delete my post or edit it??? Fairly new to posting on MN 🙈 the edit option doesn’t come up on my last post but does on this one 🤷‍♀️

@Lushmush well that pretty much guarantees that the thread will be deleted over "privacy concerns" and we will never get an update!

Thanks 🙄

She knows f1 will attend so she won't- hence why we've left out f1 from a few group things so that f2 can join in

Eh?? You have left F1 out, even though she WOULD attend, just so that sulky bully F2 will come? Have I ACTUALLY read that right?

I am horrified at you doing this. F1 is mature enough to go along to things despite F2 being there, but you have all willingly enabled F2's behaviour by cutting F1 out.

You are terrible, terrible people

I really hope OP that this thread has given you food for thought. I genuinely believe you have treated F1 very badly. She is in no way unaffected just because she has other friends.

Personally I don't think you deserve her friendship. You seem really lacking in common sense, kindness and empathy. Your assessment of someone being a good friend because they are fun and outgoing is honestly quite weird.

I hope F1 sees this thread and decides to ditch the lot of you.

You owe her a huge apology.

That sounds great OP - hope the chat goes well.