Excluding a friend?

I don’t think it’s grown up to accuse someone (or their child) of something extremely unpleasant, leave the group WhatsApp and then starting to invite everyone to things and act as if nothing has happened. I think that’s pretty manipulative in itself actually. Friend 2 has the choice of turning up to socialise with someone who’s accused her child of something really awful, and all the associated implications, or not socialising at all, and friend 1 wants the third option - friend 2 maintaining the friendships independently- to be taken away. And feels free to instruct her adult friends along those lines. I think she sounds like a piece of work herself tbh.

So essentially @StephPlum you are taking Friend 2's side because she gets more upset? I can sort of see how that might come about initially as a gut reaction, but I don't think it's a good premise to work from tbh. As you don't know the full story about the bullying allegations, I think you have to stay neutral as PPs have said.

Also this: Friend 1 invited us all to hers recently and friend 2 was so upset we all went is completely unreasonable. Friend 2 doesn't get to tell the rest of you that you can't be friends with Friend 1. That would be an absolute deal-breaker for me.

Don’t agree at all. Purposefully excluding one person from a friendship group is a form of bullying, albeit a passive aggressive one.
And she didn’t paint her child in a bad light, she moved her own child from their shared school because friend 2’s child was involved in bullying. Friend 1 didn’t want to fall out with friend 2. It sounds like she was rather amicable about it all.

Add her back onto the WhatsApp group.
Invite both.

I don't really understand why she had to tell friend 2 at all
Maybe because any responsible parent would deal with their bullying child and make them see their behaviour is wrong.

If the kids are both yr 6, is there a strong possibility they'll be back in the same school next year anyway? Could this be the catalyst to bang heads together? Could you have a chat with friend 2 and assure her that if she came along to a group thing you'll hold her hand a bit so to speak to make sure it's ok?

Friend 2 is a bully just like her son

she's manipulating you all with her woe is me act to try and cut out friend 1 who's behaved like an actual grown up despite being the injured party!

Not wanting to go out with someone who you think has painted you and your child in an excessively bad light is not bullying. Friend 2 is not stopping anyone from seeing friend 1. To suggest it is bullying in ludicrous.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it? Friend 2 excluding friend 1 is a form of bullying in its own right.
I’d personally be having a chat with friend 2 and explain just how unfair she is being, and how she’s dividing your group and causing unnecessary tension. Why can’t she get over it? She sounds immature and petty.

Why are you encouraging friend 1 to make more effort?? As always bullies are the victims. Sounds like mother, like child. Someone doesn't move their child for shits and giggles. You should be backing F1 and looking at F2 with a completely different view.

If you want to go out with friend 2 without friend 1 or friend 1 without friend 2 then that is up to you - you don't always have to include everybody in everything especially when it's going to be awkward and tense.

Friend 1 chose to leave the group so she can hardly complain.

I don’t know if I agree with the consensus on this thread. Telling your friend their child is bullying yours badly enough to move schools, leaving a WhatsApp group and then saying you don’t want to fall out, being ‘hopeful the kids could have a better relationship with each other away from school’ (when the other kid was supposedly such a bully) and saying that it’s third parties preventing a reconciliation is a bit disingenuous. I also wouldn’t like being told who I could and couldn’t spend what time with if I was you OP.

Friend 2 sounds very manipulative, controlling and “woe is me”. The fact that she completely minimised the bullying her child was involved in is a big red flag too. She’s embarrassed and trying to exclude Friend 1 to cover her up her own failings as as parent is my take.

Sounds like you have firmly taken friend 2's side, OP.

I've been trying to encourage friend 1 to make more of an effort to resolve things

Why do you think it's up to friend 1 to resolve? She had to change her child's school due to bullying, the parent of the alleged bully called her and her child liars, and the child a tell tale, yet friend 1 still wants to keep things as amicable as possible. Do you not think Friend 2 should be putting in the effort here, instead she is acting the martyr so all the friendship group will choose her over friend 1? Has friend 2 reflected on any of this or apologised to friend 1 at all, it must have been serious to disrupt a child's education and friendship group.

If we invite them both friend 1 will come, which means 2 won't and then 2 will be so upset. She's definitely finding the whole thing harder than friend 1

Well that's her decision. But really for the sake of everyone else's friendships you can't be seen to take sides. If F2 isn't big enough to accept the olive branch already offered thats on her. She needs to stop playing the victim and act like a grown up. She's certainly not setting any kind of good example to her kids

I read it as "lies so" the B is a typo.

Whats,,,'LIESBO ' ??

This. With bells on.

Agree with what PP’s have said about excluding friend 1. It’s almost like you’re condoning the bullying behaviour of friend 2’s child and it does sound like friend 2 is childish and a bully too as @GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing says.

I agree, apples and trees.

So friend 2’s child bullied friend 1’s child (probably, as she’s gone so far as to pull them from school). Now friend 2 is also trying to bully friend 1 by telling her “it’s all lies” and blanking her, trying to leave her out of the group.

You need to make sure friend 1 is invited to everything. Friend 2 can be a childish bully on her own time, but she doesn’t get to have tailored meet up pandering to her wanting to exclude friend 1. Up to her if she wants to leave herself out.