Excluding a friend?

I was F1, as I said above.
And this would be me as well ... pretending all was well when I was devastated they'd fallen for the bullshit being spouted by my child's bully's parent and supported them in their 'devastation'.

If your child was being bullied by a friend's child, so badly that they had to move schools, you'd keep quiet and carry on as if nothing's happened? You're a very strange person if you can do that! I think most people would want their friend to acknowledge their child's bullying behaviour and deal with it.

And further to this, I bet friend 1 has been just as upset all along but hasn’t wanted to make things difficult for the friendship group. ie she has empathy.

What I'm taking from this is that you're scared of Friend 2 because she can be very volatile and demanding. That's not friendship, that's emotional manipulation. I think you should be putting her in her place and pointing out that Friend 1 wouldn't just move her kid's school on a whim.

Op, you are falling in the trap of wanting to please the most difficult person and taking for granted the more easy going person as you don’t like someone being upset with you.

Try thinking about who is actually a better friend to you and the right thing to do instead.

To move your child to a new school
Is not a quick process and it's not an easy process. It also means you are probably thinking last resort.
I feel like you are maybe giving friend 2 more credit than she deserves. However I also find it bizarre that nothing seems to have been worked on to resolve the situation before it got to the point of moving school.
They clearly both have communication issues with each other and you have all been dumped on the middle. It feels like you need to send them both a message saying it's not fair to be in the middle and whilst you want them to resolve the situation and you will support where you can, you don't want them putting you in the middle anymore.
I am leaning more to friend 1s side though. I think it's a big step to move your child for something supposedly minor. I think maybe friend 2 is as much of an issue as her child.

Yes I'm starting to feel the same. No one that is a genuine parent is this clueless re bullying and how to respond.

If true, why friend 1 still wants to be friends with you all, and you in particular is beyond me. She is better off without you all.

Friend 2 sounds awful.

You sound like an absolute coward.

I feel terrible for Friend 1. She's the only one who can hold her head high in this toxic mess.

Boo fucking hoo for Friend 2. She has a child who bullied another child badly enough to make them move schools. She should rightfully be feeling upset about that. She's not though, is she? She's angry at the person who dared to flag it.

If I were Friend 1 I'd be beyond disappointed in all of you.

We do try and shut down any chat from f2 about f1 but I also feel like we should support her as she is finding this difficult.

But she's making it difficult for herself! If my child had been accused of bullying to the extent the other child's parents had to move them to a new school I would be mortified. I wouldn't be corralling our friendship group to exclude the bullied child's mother. I mean, you do see how the same thing is happening to the mum that's happened to her DC, and you're all part of it?

What else could DF1 do?? She can't just stay at home, waiting for the situation to change. She had a choice to make and she chose her child.

@StephPlum what has F2 got to be upset about though? What is she finding hard? She is still on the WhatsApp group. She is still invited to things. She still has her child in the same school....the only thing that has changed is that DF1 said her child was involved in bullying of her child, and is willing to move past it in your social circles.

Ok, I’m out - this is a waste of time.

You’ve chosen your side.

It’s the wrong side, btw.

Oh boo hoo. Interesting that you haven’t thought to set up a group with friend 1 and the others, excluding friend 2. You know, to make it fair.

Tough

It would show you’re not taking sides!

I’m confused.you seem to accept that something was going on between the children and F1 has acted to protect their child from (what certainly sounds like) bullying. She told F2 but continued to invite her along to maintain the social group. You think this was wrong? You would rather she kept it to herself and put on a front? What kind of friendship group is this? Wouldn’t it make more sense for F2 to acknowledge the problem and seek to support her child and friend? It sounds like there’s still a lot of growing up to do and if I was F1 I’d be leaving the group - with a bad taste in my mouth.

Oh right. So you don’t think it might be a kind and welcoming gesture to do that then?

Just to respond to your earlier post about feeling sorry for friend 2 for having fewer friends...

I can totally see why she has fewer friends. She is unnecessary drama personified.