To think that most company menopause policies are an absolute joke?

@SabbatWheel menopause is not a disability but the symptoms associated with it can be.

The question of disability is assessed as though you are not being medicated - so if I have severe anxiety caused by perimenopause the question as to whether this is a disability is based on the effects I have if I don't take HRT or sertraline.

That said, if the medication works then you probably don't need any adjustments so it's academic. It's when the medication isn't totally effective that you need adjustments.

I think most of them actually have, and either suffered through it or were unaffected. It's the same cohort that were telling us all "it's just morning sickness" and "are you a spoiled princess? Of course you don't need time off for a bit of morning sickness" and "We just got on with it" about Hyperemesis Gravidarum 10 years ago. I loved hearing that in the hospital when I was severely ill. Or those who say, "you got a healthy baby that's all that matters" to women suffering from horrific birth complications.

It's really sad that some people desperately have to invalidate others' experiences to make themselves feel their "struggle" meant something or was purposeful to get them where they wanted to go.

I haven't been through it yet but I've seen some of the generation of women above me (aunts etc) in my family have a really hard time with it. I can't imagine how much worse it is to actually try and talk about it with their friends/peers and know that some of the horse shit on this thread is what they're thinking even if they're not saying it. It's so isolating, in addition to the actual menopause symptoms.

This is really rude and belittling of women who are suffering with much more debilitating symptoms. I believe it's a step in the right direction to make allowances and adjustments for women who genuinely need some support at a period in their lives that can be very difficult. I appreciate it isn't the same for everybody but I have empathy for those of us who need time and patience to get the right combo of support to see them through.

Employers need to recognise that men and women have ageing issues, when you've younger bosses it's difficult to articulate. Men with prostate problems needing to know where there's a loo at all times isn't funny. Nor are the hot flushes.

Someone in the company needs to put together a clear handbook for all.

You sound as if you know absolutely nothing about menopause. Insomnia? Is that the only menopause symptom you have?

Totally agree.
I have reasonable adjustments at work for a genuine disability. I certainly didn’t expect them for menopause symptoms, that can be successfully medicated.

Not all work places have them. Its a recent thing.

I’ve had anxiety, depression, insomnia and migraines most of my life. I’m also probably neurodiverse but have never tested.

Do you know what I do? I suck it up and get in with things for the most part. On top if that I’m on antidepressants and take triptans for my migraines. I have one the best sick leave records in my office.

Like others here, as a middle aged woman I don’t want to be relegated to the scrap heap more than I already am. If an individual has health issues or wants flexibility then can work within the existing policies if their workplace to come up with a solution.

Yes the nhs are very keen to acknowledge the male menopause.

@Hbh17 Women are at a disadvantage to men because of menopause, it is something pretty much all women will go through and men do not have an equivalent that affects their health at a certain point in life for such a prolonged period of time. Yes some women will be fine and not have many symptoms but this is not the case for all. The policy is mean to help prevent discrimination taking into consideration someone’s symptoms and reasonable adjustments that can be made. People are ill here and there throughout their working lives but this is something that affects almost 100% of women.

It is helpful to sit down and work out adjustments that work for you. I have a later start as getting up is hell. I'm allowed to wear less formal clothing as I'm so hot.

I have never even heard of a menopause policy. Is that really a thing? I was so lucky through mine. I felt for women that had issues.

This thread is full of witches that think they are sounding feminist, but are missing the point. They seem to prefer women over 50 leave the workplace due to their symptoms than have a few adjustments when they have previously been OK and will be after menopause. Very strange......I doubt these men people are speaking from experience.

It doesn't set them back at all @NoPrivateSpy , you are absolutely right.

It gives them equity. The heart of feminism.

A system that recognises women are different from men, rather than riding roughshod over them.

But patriarchy and it's aunt Lydia's will always find an excuse why women can't be treated as human beings.

I’m surprised about some of the ‘snowflake’ type comments on here, I imagine they are from women who either weren’t supported in the workplace if they needed to be when going through menopause or they ‘sailed’ through as many women do. I work in HR and there is a lot noise about menopause at the moment and menopause policies. As a thirty-something year old woman I was fairly uneducated in the topic until recently. Symptoms and length of menopause vary from woman to woman and some really do suffer awful symptoms for years. The reason you need this type of policy is not only to make reasonable adjustments if needed it is also to protect woman from being discriminated against if they are in a job that is also being carried out by male colleagues who would not be affected by menopause (let’s not get into the andropause).

We give out free sanitary products at work for women who need them being caught short or may not be able to financially afford them - the first thing some male colleagues piped up with ‘what are we getting? What about free condoms?’ As if having to bleed for 30+ years isn’t enough you also are paying for the privilege not to bleed everywhere and men still have an issue with businesses trying to support women where they can. It feels like you can’t make it up sometimes.

OP I suggest you go through your BP and occupational health at work to get reasonable adjustments made if necessary.

You use the phrases 'My last performance review I was pretty much told I'm underperforming' and 'the accusation of underperformance'. Do you mean there was no actual evidence given to back this up? It sounds like your manager is trying to get you to quit by undermining you and making it a difficult working environment, rather than there being an evidential decrease in performance.

That could be constructive dismissal, especially if they put in no effort to help you perform better. It may be good to get things confirmed on paper including your health issues. This may make them more careful regarding possible disability discrimination. Are you in a union you could ask for advice? Perhaps you could use the phrase 'health issues' instead of menopause to make them pay attention.

Has your manager bullied you or other people before?

Well fuck me @JenniferAnistonsHair2023 I'm sorry you have had such awful people answering. I think there are a lot of 4chan scum etc posting these days. They post multiple times. They're really easy to spot, for example the use of snowflake repeated really quickly in several posts in relation to a completely unrelated topic. Ignore them, there just angry that they still have to live in their parent's spare room and do what their mum tells them. The dark triad of personality traits is often on show.

Anyone who know anything at all about menopause, understands that some women suffer devastating menopause symptoms that make them feel like a changed person, anxiety, insomnia, loss of libido, loss of motivation . Of course companies should know how to deal with this, however as this thread so aptly proves, it doesn't matter how bad things get for women, we're just meant to be quiet about it. It's all very well saying young parents get tired, but they chose to have kids and can deal with it because they are younger. Women don't choose menopause.

I wish I had some advice. I don't at all. Society is becoming worse for women daily., even basic considerations for serious changes to our bodies and health are met with derision.

However I thought this might raise a wry smile, an NHS trust are giving men going through the menopause up to a year of work. Yes men.

Says it all really, doesn't it?

Which world do you live in where women are treated equally to men in the workplace at 50?

I don't get the argument that menopause awareness sets women back any more than we are already set back frankly, sorry.

There are some really unpleasant replies to your post! A real lack of empathy amongst some people.
If it were me I would set out in a really clear email what the issues you are having are, and what adjustments you would like making to your role.
Send it to your boss and ask for a call in a couple of days. It gives him a chance to digest it and give you a reasonable response (hopefully). He probably feels out of his depth with 'women's issues', and a an email gives him a chance to get over himself before having a conversation with you
Good luck

Completely agree. It's a normal part of life as we get older.

We have a menopause/andropause policy at work. It basically covers having a fan in case you get a hot flush and being allowed to take a 5 minute break to get a drink of water if you need it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'd try talking to your manager first tbh. When I was pregnant I had hyperemesis the whole time, morning and night. Meds helped somewhat but my iron was also so low the hospital said they had no idea how I was still walking. I had to go to work (care home management) so was just working in between vomiting tbh!

It was a male director which helped me with how to continue my job (they needed me and it was in their interest) such as being able to use any bathroom, not covering the floor etc. I initially approached a senior female manager and was told she didn't know why I needed special treatment when pregnancy wasn't q disability and she was never sick through her 3 pregnancies.

I also have endometriosis and I am im pain constantly but also have stabbing pains out of nowhere. However I've had that since I was a teenager so know how to suck it up and live with it. Whereas menopause is totally new for you and you're still trying to work out how to manage your symptoms.

I can't really comment further as it is a while off for me yet. But if they're going to have a policy they need to carry it out rather than it being a box ticked for them. We aren't asking for special treatment, just to be treated equitably according to our biology.

Definitely this.

What did women do before? Millions of women went through the menopause without the circus there is today. There’s a menopause cafe at work - meetings with other women going through the menopause to chat blah blah. Ridiculous.

An employer doesn't need "a menopause policy". If any individual employee is unwell then they should consult their GP and take sick leave, as appropriate. Plenty of middle-aged women (like me) would take the view that singling out menopause as some sort of "disability" simply makes us less employable and perpetuates potential discrimination. It's bad enough when women are of childbearing age - now we're saying that we can still be treated unfairly when we're in our 50s? No thanks!