To think that most company menopause policies are an absolute joke?

For some women, menopause can be debilitating.
Not all women sIl through it or can take HRT

Some people on here are having a difficult time understanding that equal does not always mean the same. Women are not the same as men and so might need different things to help support them in the workplace. The reason we didn’t have equality in the workplace is because of things like childbearing but there are now policies in place to protect women and help them continue in work. The same is true of the menopause.
I have to admit as a 30 something year old woman I didn’t have much knowledge of the menopause because older women in my workplace and even my own mum didn’t really talk about it. It was like some kind of secret club you had to go through when the time came! I’m glad women are talking more freely about periods etc and I hope the same happens with menopause. I took the time recently to ask specifically what the menopause actually entails and was shocked by the range of experience women go through - some sail through, some really have terrible symptoms. I think having policies around it can only be a good thing for equality to be honest and to help women achieve in the workplace. It’s not about having to struggle through in silence - that doesn’t make you equal to men.

10% of women, according to one study, quit their job because of menopause. This means more will have considered it.

Acceptable?

When my kids were young, I dropped to 4 days. I didn't get a drop in workload and just packed more into 4 days. I noticed an attitude of resentment develop. People perceive you to be slacking, even if you maintain productivity.

Unfortunately it persists even when you go back to full time again.

I moved jobs, full time and I have a reputation for high productivity.

Can guarantee if I dropped to 4 days again, same would happen. I've seen it happen to others.

It's not rational, but we are all just great apes.

Manager might feel the 4 days is reasonable adjustment.

No help on this I’m afraid. But at least you have some sort of policy. My workplace talks about menopause and pregnancy without mentioning the word “woman” or “female.”

My company has a relatively new buy excellent menopause policy... in theory.
In practice I am the only woman with a male manager so we've never had the conversation

What reasonable adjustments are you asking for? And how long for? Long term? Permanent?

Will the OP's insomnia or anxiety get better? From an HR point of view, if an employee can't perform their role long term, that is an issue.

A pp, redcess says to OP:

"If it were me I would set out in a really clear email what the issues you are having are, and what adjustments you would like making to your role. "

Many posters have asked if she's already sent her current male manager an email detailing the symptoms and suggesting adjustments. Until she can verbalise it, the manager will claim he hasn't be approached. Which he hasn't.

OP has explained her specific need (demand) twice: she doesn't want to speak to a male manager who is untrained. That is the start and possibly the end of what she wants. The first reasonable adjustment OP wants is someone female & trained (or maybe just female, not sure) to talk to.

Is he a manager or not? does he need training in every employee need in order to accommodate them? Is it reasonable to expect or demand that training for each condition, or is it just a menopause requirement?

What if OP gets someone trained & female to talk to and arrange additional adjustments with, does anyone have to explain to her actual male line manager why OP had those adjustments (& maybe to OP's colleagues, too)? Would it be the duty of the female trained staff member to explain to the colleagues & line manager why OP had those adjustments (which presumably aren't necessarily available to anyone else?)

I'm not sure that what OP wants is best or reasonable.

I agree with this. I have to concede I haven't gone through it yet (I'm so ready, I'm 51, I'm so tired of periods!). Menopause, pregnancy, puberty, these are not illnesses. It's LIFE. You get through it. Some women have extreme symptoms, and those women should be treated with respect and dignity, as everyone should be, but I do get the sense that there are a lot of women just looking for an excuse to be coddled. "Snowflake" is an apt description. It's kind of insulting to the women who DO have extremely debilitating symptoms.

And HEAR, HEAR for wanting to be treated as an equal. Equality means being equal all the time. If you're constantly asking for concessions and coddling because you're a woman, then you're not equal. It makes it harder for the rest of us when women are constantly whining "it's not fair" while asking for time off and special accommodations for every little thing.

That's a 'story' highly misrepresented by the media and posters here. Men aren't being offered a year off for 'male menopause' in the NHS.

I've never heard of menopause policies. I can't imagine asking off work because of menopause, but I haven't actually started it yet, so I reserve the right to change my attitude about it when I get there.

I don't know how to assess the effectiveness of the policy where I work, which is virgin money but this is what they do. It's been driven by a woman in a fairly senior level management position:

• HR policy exists
• Training provided to number of staff across the business who volunteered, so called menopause champions. There's a page on the intranet with a bio of each and way to contact them. The training is provided by an external provider called hen pecked, who seem to be really good. I volunteered and have ended up being token man as no others did. They didn't specify gender, and I thought "why not" & it turned out I was wanted.
• There's a teams group related to equality, a channel exists there for women to talk menopause with each other. A separate one exists for the so-called champions to discuss stuff too
• There's also online coffee chats organised for people to join
• There's a desire to get people leaders training and more clued up about menopause so they can provide better support, but I don't think it's happened yet

I don't know how helpful it is compared to what's necessary, but it definitely helps some

Relying on GPs alone seems to not be the best idea. I forget the exact figure but they get hardly any training, and there's lots of bad experiences reported by women. My friend's was useless for health issues that frightened her, it's almost certainly peri-menopause and he totally dismissed it, like not even doing either of the two different ways to diagnose. There's worse stories out there.

There's some shocking stats on the number of women who consider quitting work, and those who actually do, because of menopause. Any preventable resignation is unacceptable, surely?

The TUC website has some info about menopause policies. Some unions do, too. You may be able to read some info without being a member, I don't know.

I think it would be worth joining a union. Most unions won't assist with an existing dispute/grievance with new members, nor will they help with a new one within 3 or 6 months of joining (length of time can vary between unions.) But it's unlikely you'll be though menopause and symptom free that quickly.

Im going to be a man and get a year off.
May as well, they won’t take me seriously as a woman do I may as well say I’m a special man menopause

So? You have found it a relief...so what? I had horrendous periods every month and horrendous menopause symptoms. We're not all the same. 2-3 days a month is nothing compared to menopause symptoms every single day.

I was able to get my manager to do an occupational health referral, under the vaguest of terms- that I had ongoing long term health issues. I Explained in detail to Occupational Health who then wrote to my manager with recommendations ehich included advice on setting achievable targets. I'm aware the company I work for genuinely try and support staff, and we can access a a few things (e.g . Physio, counselling etc).

If thar makes me a snowflake then so be it.

Im on HRT and anxiety medication and still struggling. Also hypothyroid. I hope you can get some support and start to feel a bit better soon.

I would also add that I have found the menopause a blessed relief from periods and the sickness and diarrhoea and javelin arse that I had to endure for 2-3 days per month for 35-odd years. Period pain was absolutely horrendous (for me) and there certainly wasn't any "support" with that one.

I'm afraid I agree with every word of this.

@SisterMichaelsHabit you are the third person this week I’ve seen recommend to a poster that they should join a Union to sort out an existing issue. As a lifelong union member I’m fucking sick of people thinking that they only need to pay their dues when there’s something in it for them. You can’t do that and quite rightly the union will do nothing for you. Pay your dues every month like the rest of us and they might be interested 🙄. FFS.

What do you want your company to do? And why should someone not be challenged on performance?

woman want equality, but play the pregnant, menopause, childcare card at any opportunity

lots of woman at my work had menopause symptoms of varying degrees, from sailing through to the most horrendous systems, but all accepted it as part of woman’s life, took sick leave when it got really bad, but cracked on with work in the main

so tell work what you want and see if they agree

Wow, there's some comments on here, WTAF?!
I had no idea of what women were going through until I experienced it myself - I have hardly ever had any sick leave & none in last 15 years, still haven't. I think the difference isn't being 'ill' as such but appearing to underperfom etc, without even being able to pinpoint why exactly.

OP, up your HRT. It's what worked for me, gradually increase it and also consider adding in Testosterone - both gamechangers for me. Also, then consider changing jobs.

@JenniferAnistonsHair2023 There's some good info on this link: www.fom.ac.uk/wp-content/uploads/Guidance-on-menopause-and-the-workplace-v6.pdf

It might be a good idea to follow the advice from someone further up about emailing your line manager and explaining you have some health issues and that you'd like a referral to an OT.

I'd also listen to some of the Louise Newson podcasts and go back to your GP and ask for a change to your HRT because it's not working. Check out the Human Being Diet (HBD) which is specifically targeted at this age. It's transformed my life in terms of sleep, energy levels and all round health. It's worth buying the books - very insightful.

Good luck. I hope you can get this sorted out.

People need help/adjustments for various things in life. I think what some people don't like is the idea that we are all the same. I didn't need any adjustments for the menopause I needed for a couple of days every month for the previous 30 odd years. So I'd like to see help and support offered when needed regardless of the reason it is needed. So some women might need it for periods, some might need it for pregnancy, some might need it for menopause, some might need it for rheumatism or cancer or any number of other things. They should all get it.

For everyone telling OP she needs to articulate what she needs, don't just expect special treatment yadda yadda:

She is here asking for help in articulating what she needs!!!

So I'm peri but don't have a workplace as I work for myself. However, my main issues are brain fog, fatigue, overwhelm and anxiety.

Things I do / would ask an employer to do:

Flexi working so when I hit "done" for the day, I can sign off then pick up again earlier the next day. I risk making huge mistakes and I'm very inefficient if I keep working beyond that point.

Help or systems for Task management / prioritising - when I'm bad I find it incredibly hard to prioritise and flutter about doing very little apart from winding myself up. Do you have task management software or training you could do? My stuff is now ruthlessly systemised so I don't have to rely on my brain on bad days, the system just tells me what my tasks are.

Regular breaks. Help me to stave off overwhelm.

Let's hope others can start to give you some other ideas that you can take to your manager

That's the thing isn't it, it isn't the menopause people need time off for it is the symptoms and if it's tiredness/anxiety or whatever people might need adjustments but not just because of menopause. Personally I found menopause liberating, no more crippling migraines that I used to get every month, so I certainly didn't want anyone viewing me as some special case needing adjustments, I needed them every month for years.