To think that most company menopause policies are an absolute joke?

What are you talking about? He used the f bomb!

Ridiculous comparison given that when referring to your 'child' they can be an adult or adolescent. I would not want any child of mine (adult or not) to use this language. I can hold a different opinion to you. It is allowed.

I think you're over-simplifying a bit. I work a 4 day week and I DO get paid less - 20% less, in fact. But I don't have a lighter workload - I have a 100% FTE workload. I would like some acknowledgement that I am doing the same work for less pay, rather than being told I'm underperforming.

I wonder if a discussion around the fact there has been no reduction in workload to reflect your reduced hours and pay might be more productive. That’s about resourcing and capacity which would apply regardless of the personal health circumstance of the person concerned. It’s not even a reasonable adjustment - they agreed the reduction in hours but obviously didn’t consider that would mean a reduction in your availability and your capacity for workload.

Life doesn't always go on.

Looking back, there were a number of women in my childhood who was considered "the mad old bat down the road" type, that turns out was all menopause related and many lost much of their lives. An old boyfriends Grandmother spent 18 months in hospital and had ECT for menopause. Women would be locked away for the rest of their lives.

Just because something wasn't talked about, doesn't mean it wasn't happening. It's incredibly ignorant to think that. Along the lines of "well, women gave birth with no complaint in the good old days". Yes, and look at the maternal death rate.

A bit weary? I can go a week on 2 hours sleep each night to the point I can barely function. About once a fortnight I will literally have had NO sleep. And no rest because of restless legs / arms. On the previous HRT regime I had my breasts got so painful I couldn't even consider wearing a bra. I have days I can't think how to do any of my work.

But you've got through it fine, so obviously everyone is like you.

Dear vs 'sh'' - would you prefer your child said the latter? OK you do you then.

I’d rather my child drank water than wine but it doesn’t mean as an adult I don’t enjoy a drink from time to time. Holding adults to childlike standards of behaviour is infantilising.

I too dislike the negative attention given to menopause
I do understand many people struggle but it has reached the point that there is now a stereotype of post menopausal woman, being slow, tired and cognitively impaired.

We need to take away the idea of menopause being this prescribed set of symptoms that apply to all women over 50.

I think we need to get rid of the word menopause and simply say I, as a person am having memory issues just now / insomnia issues just now etc...

You really aren't clear in terms of what you want, you want "reasonable adjustments" but you don't specify. You work a 4 day week and are underperforming, but you don't want to do any more work. It comes across like you want a lighter workload with less responsibility and easier work but for no less money because you also say you can't afford to take another job.

If that is what you want then yeah YABU.

As is moaning that your manager is male. It isn't realistic for everyone to have a manager in the same scenario as yourself. Being uncomfortable because your manager is male is a you issue. People with all sorts of illnesses or pregnancy etc manage to discuss issues with their manager without their manager having direct experience of it.

If this argument had any rationality then you also wouldn't need maternity, bereavement or sickness policies, all of which are also "perfectly normal biological processes"...you know, all the things our ancestors fought for to try and reduce discrimination?

But then use of the word "snowflake" is a pretty good indicator that everything else said by that ~daily mail reading, GMB watching~ person can be safely disregarded.

OP I agree with the posters who said you need to be more specific about what accommodations you want made for you. And the "don't feel comfortable talking to my male manager" excuse isn't really sufficient- there are lots of things people might not be hugely comfortable talking to their managers about, whether medical or personal but its the role of the manager to manage any discomfort! If you speak to your manager and don't get anywhere then you can refer back to HR/upwards and say they aren't following their policy but as it is it seems like thry are -presumably your policy says discuss any reasonable adjustments you'd like made, HR have said the person to discuss these with is your manager, that's what you have to do.

If it’s good enough for Prince Phillip in a formal situation then it’s good enough for a MN thread.

You do understand the manager doesn't know about this thread right? You absolutely are fragile/sensitive whatever to be so bothered by this.

Jesus christ. And what about the women who can't take HRT? As long as you were ok eh? "A little weary and stressed"? Lucky you.

And I'm the one being told to get a life.... You guys are hilarious!

Agreed... and also addressing someone "lovely".

No but it is relevant and perhaps something for you to think about.

It was not 'shit' it was 'sh*t'. Gross and vulgar, but you are another one who thinks it is ok to use this when describing a professional encounter with their manager. OK, up to you. Not appreciating reading this language does not make me fragile at all. If I was fragile, I would not have commented knowing how many people would inevitably put the put in, which has happened.

No, I have and don't really understand the fuss. I took HRT, took a couple of goes to get the right make, and, yes, some days you do feel a bit weary and stressed.

But, it's a normal process, and life goes on.🙂

I think when somebody uses such coarse language to describe the pertinent (and supposedly professional) situation at the heart of a dispute, it reveals to me something about their character. And maybe the character traits that I intimated in my post (unpleasant and agressive) are inhibiting their progress in this matter because of the way they come across. Just a thought.... I do not know anyone who would write about their manager in this way. It is a really weird phrase to use when describing a professional encounter.

some very depressing attitudes on this thread.

I sincerely hope all of those dismissing the OP as a snowflake etc end up having the most awful menopause and have to retire early because of it.

My sister had a hysterectomy in the late 80's aged 38 and at the time not enough was known about HRT etc. It ended her teaching career and so no, it wasn't always peachy in the olden days.

Omg, get a bloody life. I've seen some petty posts over the years on Mumsnet but this one beats them all. If you're too fragile to read the word "shit" on a forum, then perhaps you should find somewhere else.

100% this!

I can totally relate to the feeling that it was the start of dementia or Alzheimer's. That's exactly how I was feeling. When I described it as such to the nurse, she commented that lots of women have described it that way.

I don't get the hate surrounding the fact menopause is being talked about much more openly. That's a good thing! It helps so many women realise they are not alone. It should never have been treated as a dirty secret or the butt of jokes etc.

Some women do sail through the menopause. And sadly it's these voices which are loudly shouting down others who are not so lucky. It's doing women a huge disservice.

Women's health has always been lacking. And it's good to see that change, albeit it slowly.

similar age, SLT and similar thoughts on the matter.