To think that most company menopause policies are an absolute joke?

Weird... why are you stalking me to see my other posts? I think she is being ridiculous and over the top moaning about something so trivial as her four year old missing out on a theatre trip. Why are you posting about that thread on this thread? Do you have nothing better to do than look at my other posts to try and bash me?

You are such a hypocrite. I've just seen your comments on the school trip thread. The way you're speaking to the OP on there is awful, telling her to get a grip and mocking her, so so rude. And yet here you are feigning outrage over a four letter word.

But you didn't tell your manager you went down to 4 days a week because of menopause symptoms?.

And you got annoyed possibly very rightly that your manager said you were underperforming?

But instead of telling him that you're struggling with menopause you went to HR wanting them to tell you what would be a reasonable adjustment in your role. And they couldn't tell you as that's something that employees and managers need to work out as individual employees and individual roles are just that ..individual

So you need to talk to your manager about what reasonable adjustments might be in your role

But you dont want to talk to your manager because he's a man and you've already decided he won't possibly understand.

So then you got pissed off saying menopause policies are pointless? What did you want? HR to go to go to your manager and say 'employee is menopausal so should have x, y and z or shouldn't have to do x, y or z?

That's not how reasonable adjustments work. What's reasonable in one role may not reasonable in another.

I think when a lot of people hear 'reasonable adjustment' they think 'the employer has to do whatever I ask to keep me in work and that's all reasonable'.

No it isn't. The key word is reasonable and the employer decides that.

And stop being dramatic and positioning yourself as a victim by being snarky saying ' i see it's unreasonable of me to be able to talk to another woman about my issues'.

Nobody said that and your HR didn't say that either . They said you need to talk to your manager about your difficulties and what reasonable adjustments may help. For ANY reason.

That goes for the menopause policy, the disabilities policy, the pregnancy policy and the sickness policy.

They are your manager! It wouldn't matter if you were offered the opportunity to talk about your menopause with another woman. Unless they're in a managerial position in your specific team it is completely irrelevant to YOUR ROLE IN YOUR TEAM.

You wanting to not talk to your manager hoping that you could talk to a woman who doesn't work in your role or team but would tell your manager what are reasonable adjustments for you that they shouldn't be spoken to about by you but just implement is just ridiculous.

I know I am crying into my tea as I type. Listen you go ahead with your choice words if you think they are suitable.

You can be in the minority and still be right you know.

It can be, can being the operative word based on the manifestation of symptoms and their severity. It absolutely is not listed as a disabilty based on the Equality Act.

I dont give a hoot about whether the manager is on the post! I am not fragile (why would I post something like this on AIBU if I was fragile - I absolutely knew I would get a kicking for expressing this!). I simply find the language vulgar and coarse.

Not sure what else there is to explain really.

Yes, I think six weeks (a typical recovery time after a hysterectomy) of "car" trouble might raise a few eyebrows!

I've got news for you, it absolutely can be.

It's like everything else in life, we are just meant to keep going and put up with it.
I have a physical job, and although l am fit and healthy l am struggling with exhaustion, low energy levels and constant hot flushes. I have told by my manager when trying to explain why my pick rare is not where it should be but he just said X company makes no allowances between a 16 year old and 60 yr old, the standard of work should be the same.

@Jellycatspyjamas

I am not forcing my opinion, I expressed my opinion, which I am allowed to do. I find it unprofessional and vulgar. You don't seem to like my opinion so you are now saying that I am policing their language, this is simply not true. I dislike their language and I can say so.

Yes I am sure that when your kids are adults you would love them to come home and speak to you with such vulgar words... not.

Are you implying that something needs to be done so that women don't make the choice they want to make?

What percentage of women quit their jobs because they just want to? What percentage of women quit their jobs to start their own business? Should all companies twist themselves into pretzels and completely abandon their bottom line and destroy the morale of the rest of the employees so that no women ever quit to start their own business too?

The world does not revolve around the place where you happen to be standing. If you don't like the environment at your job, grow up and find another job. You do not have a RIGHT to work wherever you want under whatever terms you choose. You should find a company or job that suits YOU, not the other way around.

The reality is there's no one else to do the work, so I do it.

But that isn’t your problem, they need to allocate work fairly and if they decide there’s no one else to do the work it doesn’t get done and your manager prioritises what matters. By reducing hours and still doing the work you’ve disadvantaged yourself at every turn and not got the balance you badly need. It sounds like he won’t accept a reduction in quality of work in light of your disproportionate workload, so you need to push back a bit.

I will admit to not having read the full thread (about 75% of it) but to me the menopause is a side-issue here. I know you really wanted to reduce your hours but how you thought this could be a good idea while retaining your full workload I don't know? Regardless of health issues, earning 80% pay for 100% output in a reduced amount of time was only ever going to lead to resentment and underperformance. I once reduced to an 80% workload and pay but presented a plan to my boss for where some of my work could be moved (not just pawning if off on other overloaded people though!). Of course, the time to do this was before you ended up in this situation but you are where you are. If your industry is as you describe, I'm afraid I don't know if this is salvageable, are you prepared to move jobs to one where you start off with a workload commensurate with whatever number of days you work?

Ridiculous comparison given that when referring to your 'child' they can be an adult or adolescent. I would not want any child of mine (adult or not) to use this language. I can hold a different opinion to you. It is allowed.

You can hold whatever opinion you like, but when you force that opinion onto other people, try to police their language and make judgments about them based on a word commonly used you’re doing a bit more than “holding a different opinion”.

I’d also hope that by the time they are adults they’ll have the capacity to make decisions about their use of language, it’s not for me to police them at that point.

I will not be saying the word menopause at work. Even if I have a hysterectomy (not planned) I'll say I had car trouble

I think you need to go and look up what a hysterectomy is 🙄

To people saying menopause shouldn't be considered in the workplace - the alternative is that a substantial proportion of women leave, or take a demotion. Whereas support for a few years could help them through.

This matters because we need more women in positions of leadership and many of them get knocked out in mid life before they hit CEO status. It also matters because many sectors lack skills and sending women off to twiddle their thumbs when they have skills that could be retained is daft.

It also matters, of course, because it can be life destroying to have a career trashed within a few years after building it up for decades. And menopause doesn't last forever, if we're supposed to work until 67 and menopause is about 50 and symptoms maybe last 5 years - leaving the workplace because of it means you miss out on lots of productive years.

Many measures that support menopausal women are nothing to do with going soft - eg if a workplace requires you to wear a polyester uniform that's impossible with menopausal symptoms, wear a cotton one. Or it might mean making sure it's not a 10 minute walk to the toilets because that's no good if you're flooding.

Lots of things that benefit menopausal workers also benefit others - pregnant, older, disabled people. It's madness to just say 'you can't hack this working system set up for men in the prime of life so off you go'.

The problem with your workplace OP is that the menopause policy hasn't been implemented - it shouldn't be a case of waiting for a specific worker to have to push for measures. If they meant it they would have put measures and training in place already. They don't give a shit, unfortunately.

This is confirming my preconceptions of FTSE100 companies tbh... You could probably have a much nicer life working elsewhere with less pressure and fewer dickheads around.

But I would challenge why your workload hasn't reduced going to a 4 day week. And how you could possibly be underperforming when you're achieving the same in less time.

I think the menopause is a bit of a red herring here.

The problem is your manager.

You are doing a full time role on reduced hours, with a commensurate loss of pay, and being expected to unnecessarily travel to meetings adding an additional 3h.

Why you choose to work reduced hours isnt really all that important - it could be menopause, caring responsibilities, health issues or to leave some time for your skydiving hobby. The point is that they are not respecting your time.

The only way that menopause is relevant tho, is that once all that estrogen leaves your body, you are hormonally less likely to be taken for a mug.

You posted about your performance review at the time didn't you? IIRC you work in a cut throat industry where anything less than 100% gung ho energy is considered underperforming. And HR were no help then.

Do you think you can stick it out there until retirement?